Becoming your best female self is more than just your clothes, hair, and makeup. It’s also about how you talk, walk, and carry yourself with confidence.
That’s why I wanted to share some crossdressing / transgender tips that go beyond the basics.
In this blog post, I’ll share 10 dos and don’ts to help make your MTF transformation or transition a success. Let’s dive in!
1. DON’T Compare Yourself to Others
There’s no winning the comparison game. Comparing yourself to cisgender women or other trans women or crossdressers will only make you miserable.
This isn’t a competition. Instead, focus on being your own best female self.
2. DO Find Female Role Models
While you shouldn’t compare yourself to other transgender or cisgender women, it IS a good idea to observe and learn from them.
When you see somebody who looks especially good, observe the details. How does she dress, speak, move, and behave?
You don’t want to be a copycat, but it can be helpful to incorporate some of these details into your own image.
3. DO Invest in Great Shapewear
The shape of your body broadcasts your gender, so it’s a great idea to invest in quality shapewear. This is even more important than splurging on expensive clothes!
Here are the essential shapewear pieces you may want to own:
- Breast forms in an ideal shape/size for your body
- Waist cincher or corset
- Padded panties (with butt and hip padding)
- Control top pantyhose
4. DON’T Forget Your Voice
There’s nothing quite as jarring as a beautifully made up woman with a voice that doesn’t match.
While you don’t need to have a perfect voice, working on improving your feminine voice can help you create a more congruent image.
Check out my blog post on Top 12 MTF Voice Training Resources For Your Transgender Voice Transition to learn more.
5. DO Dress Age Appropriately
It’s always a good idea to dress appropriately for your age, but this does NOT mean you have to look boring or frumpy after a certain age.
The key is to choose clothes and accessories that make you look your best – without looking too young or too mature.
To learn more, check out my post on How to Dress Sexy at Any Age: 3 Crossdressing / MTF Fashion Tips.
6. DON’T Overdo It
The biggest mistake you can make is overdoing it. This applies to all women!
Wearing too much makeup, dressing too sexily, and over-exaggerating your body movements are mistakes that can attract the wrong kind of attention. Instead, think subtle and stylish.
7. DO Get a Second Opinion
Seeing ourselves objectively can be tough. That’s why having a trusted friend for a second opinion is important.
If you don’t have a friend nearby, consider checking out transgender or crossdressing forums, or Facebook groups. They’re great places to ask questions and receive helpful feedback.
And guess what? Our blog has an amazing, supportive community too! Feel free to share your photos or questions below – the lovely ladies here would be happy to provide feedback.
8. DO Seek Support
Whether you crossdress in private or live as a woman full time, you deserve to be supported.
This could mean a lot of different things – from coming out to a partner, joining a support or peer group, finding a therapist, or just connecting with others online.
Being supported makes the journey a lot less lonely – and way more fun!
9. DO Practice Your Moves
Your body language and movements communicate more about you than almost anything else. Pay attention to your movements by keeping them fluid and feminine.
Check out these articles for more tips:
- 7 Tips for Feminizing Your Body Movements
- Trans / Crossdresser Heels: How to Walk in High Heels (7 Dos and Don’ts)
10. DON’T Forget To Have Fun
Whether you’re at home or in public, being a woman is supposed to be fun!
Drop the guilt, the comparisons, and the need for perfection and enjoy being the fabulous woman that you are!
What are YOUR top dos and don’ts?
Now that you’ve seen my list, what are YOUR top dos and don’ts? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
Great list Lucille! Thanks again for all you do for our community! I was wondering what everyone thinks of my presentation. Here’s a few recent photos of me. Any input would be greatly appreciated!
I love thgat dress!
What do you think?
Oh Robyn you are a definite, genuine first class knockout!
Hey Girl. . . Did you get any of the ” Riske ” shots I sent. ..?
We 70 plusers, need continued encouragement!!
Here are some. …be kind! ! T. J.
Super!
Hi Lucille,
I don’t know where the proper place is to put this since it covers so many areas but I’ll place it here since it seems as good a place as any. I have been a female in a male body all my life. I love God and I love the church I belong to but I don’t know that it would be totally inaccurate to say that He seems to have given me a woman’s mind and a man’s body. I hope He will forgive me if I am wrong because He is the last individual I would want to offend but I look back on my life and I see countless inborn traits that He gave me that are strictly female. I got bullied a lot while growing up because the guys didn’t realize there was a girl inside this individual. Those who called me a “pussy” didn’t realize how right they were.
But all of the above is what I have to deal with, especially regarding my relationship with God. My primary purpose for this post is I just wanted to tell you how effective your “Unleash your inner woman” audio has been for me. It’s unfortunate that I am in a position right now where I can’t go out as a woman and I don’t even have any women’s clothing to wear behind closed doors but your audio very accurately points out that being a woman is something that works from the inside out.
I have only had this audio for a few days now and haven’t even purchased the full audio yet (that’s going to happen soon, girlfriend) but even the mini program has made dramatic changes in how I live my life. Although the world unfortunately still sees me as male, I am more conscious of the lady inside me than I have ever been. Here are a few examples of the female traits I noticed just yesterday.
First of all, I noticed there was a difference in the way I walked. It wasn’t anything flamboyant but a subtle swaying walk like I would imagine a female’s walk to be. Even the way I place my hands when I walk seems more feminine although not conspicuous enough to attract attention.
There was also a difference in the way that I sat. For starters, I was more gentle in the way I lowered myself and raised myself up again. I also had my legs closer together than I did when I was trying not to come across as a woman.
What’s wonderful is that I did not consciously bring out these more feminine traits. They were simply things that I suddenly noticed. Nobody else noticed these things but I most definitely did and I couldn’t have been more thrilled.
Believe it or not, when I used the restroom I couldn’t get myself to use the urinal. Obviously I have the male equipment that would have made that easy but it just seemed too “masculine.” I actually felt that I was being true to my real feminine self by going in the stall and peeing while sitting on the toilet. I did that several times and am starting to wonder if I’ll ever stand up to pee again.
After I got off work I drove around for a little while and played Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” over and over again. For the first time ever I actually sang along with the song with unbelievable gusto. I used to think the song was basically okay but now it suddenly takes on a new and wonderful meaning. The only disappointment was that I wasn’t able to feminize my voice although I definitely tried. I guess it will come with practice.
After singing my heart out to a song I previously only listened to I stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. I couldn’t help but notice the women’s department and tried to walk past quickly to avoid anybody noticing me making a mental checklist of the dresses, skirts, tops, bathing suits and lingerie I wanted to buy. I give myself a pat on the back because if I had bought everything I wanted I would be filing for bankruptcy tomorrow. I was a good girl.
As I drove home I passed a few businesses that had dresses and other feminine attire in their windows. I saw one woman wearing a pretty dress but my actual thought was “That’s a ‘darling’ dress.” I didn’t say it but that expression popped in my head. I’ll just have to be careful to conceal that type of vernacular as long as most of the world thinks I’m a man.
Before I got home I decided I needed to wash my hair. That’s something I would normally do in the shower but not this time. Where I grew up most of the women and girls I knew washed their hair in either the kitchen or bathroom sink. Rather than jump in the shower and making washing my hair simply a part of taking a routine shower, I turned it into something more feminine. I started by giving my hair a good brushing to loosen it up to enable the shampoo to penetrate better, then I had a nice, invigorating shampoo in the sink. I didn’t rush through it but took my time as if I was giving each individual hair special attention. Afterward I wrapped it in a towel and lounged around for a little while, then took the towel away and brushed my beautiful hair out before listening to your audio again. My only regret was that I didn’t think to buy some crème rinse to add to the feminine appeal of the experience (I’ll correct that oversight). Although most women don’t seem to set their hair anymore, I look forward to the day when I am openly female enough to set my hair after I wash it. How I wear my hair will be a major part of my femininity.
But that’s all in the future. I yearn for the day when I can live 100 percent as a woman. I won’t be a burly drag queen type who looks like a man in a dress but I will be somebody who is very careful about how she presents herself as a woman and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your contribution to my feminine journey. I yearn for the day when I can go about my business wearing a pretty dress with shoes and a purse that go with what I’m wearing. I want tastefully applied makeup that enhances my beauty instead of making me look like Alice Cooper. I look forward to having lovely curls in my hair that can be complemented by barrettes or other female accoutrements. I want to be able to do makeovers with my girlfriends including those who had the good sense to be born with the right equipment, wearing sweet smelling perfume, taking hormones to change my body naturally and going swimming or sunbathing in a woman’s bathing suit. If I’m totally lucky I’ll be able to have the SRS operation as one of the most critical milestones of my feminine journey.
Of course there will be obstacles. My biggest concern, aside from my relationship with God, is that I am a parent. I don’t know if any child of mine is ready to learn that the man mom divorced was really a woman.
It could be that I will never get to do the things I described. Perhaps I never will go for a night on the town in a pretty dress, develop breasts, go to the beauty parlor, have my name legally changed to Barbara Ellen, have a driver’s license and birth certificate that identifies me as a female or any of those other wonderful female things I would love to do. The fact is, Lucille, is that you know and I know that there is a woman inside this disgusting male body. . . and I love her!
Thanks for letting me bear my soul, sweet Lucille. I wish the rest of the world cared about women like me the way that you do. I’ve never met you and chances are that I never will but I want you to know that I love you. I’m proud to think of you as a sister and I would love for you to think of me as your sister. I promise to buy the rest of your feminization course in a few days because the mini has worked wonders for bringing the girl out of me. For right now I’ll listen to your lovely mini audio before I go to sleep.
One more thing on a lighter note. When I pulled up your website and looked at your picture my first thought was that I would love to do your hair. Not that there is anything wrong with your hair as it is but it simply seemed like something a girl would want to do for a girlfriend. I guess I am more of a girl than I realized.
Love and kisses,
Barbara
Love and kisses,
Barbara
This list should have been available yrs ago! No offense Lucille. Great job. I’ve not only met other transwomen who dressed wrongly, but many more at social functions! I guess the word ‘frumpy’ comes to mind first, but also girls who dress in ‘granny’ clothes – way outdated for their age! Some look like the invaded grandma’s closet or bought the first available item in a thrift store, just to go out! There’s also the makeup thing, mortar trowels should be left at work, not doubled as makeup applicators! Oh, and leave grandma’s perfume alone and get something that doesn’t smell ‘old’!
Hi Lucille!!
I have never posted before, but I just want to say, “thank you so much for the help and understanding you project toward women such as myself!”
I have lived my entire life knowing that I am female, until the last few years, in denial and EXTREMELY SUICIDAL.
However, a handful of people such as yourself have “nudged” me toward a realization; the person I see myself as is all that really matters!
I tried so hard to “pass”, be accepted, loved, etc. and realized that when I tried so hard, it didn’t work. but when I started to live and love myself for who I am…. I found that I AM REAL. (I can wear t shirt, light makeup, florescent green Nike shoes, carry a purse, cap worn backwards… etc… posterchild of a tomboy girl) and my female friends act completely different with my… so do my male friends.
I have been asked out, hit on, called a slut by very pretty cis women… not only do I now feel completely female… in reality… I AM!
so thank you so much for help and understanding:-)
Sincerely,
Melissa
Thank you again Lucille for your wise, well thought out words of help and support.
I have been following your advice, including that on the Stepping Out Secrets programme, since January 2015 with very positive results. I am not full time and present as male at work, although my posture, mannerisms and more androgynous dress have caused some people notice a difference. One guy in our office building has been really nice and friendly, having noticed changes to the way I carry myself and shape my eyebrows. I’m delighted to say that we have our first date (and my first with a male) this coming weekend.
Sarah.
Thank-you Lucille.Great points in helping us become more feminine.There are things that without your help would be overlooked.The point about safety is so true to be in a loving and accepting environment.It is also important to realize that the world is full of ignorant people on this so there will be unacceptanceThe whole world doesn’t need to know to have a great feminine journey.Most important is your own feelings..Accept yourself, beleive in yourself.Of course the journey to feminity is never over but it is a beautiful trip especially with the guidance this site provides.
I really wish you would choose your language more carefully as it seems 90% of the time you treat your transsexual customers like they are CD’s. You did this on the original hypnosis recordings, and you even did it above. Have fun? this is not a role playing game, we are women and it’s our lives.
Beth,
You are right – this is not role play, we do not have any roles, just only born in wrong body but having women ‘brains’ and so being women. Many of us are on the way … useing hormones and looking forward into the future.
Beth,
I understand that you are A LOT further along in your process than others who have come here looking for advice. I am not full time and have not started hormones or any body modifications other than hair removal in various parts of my body. Therefore, I do not claim to be anything other than a cross dresser, however, I want to look my best, feel my best, and present myself in the most feminine form possible when I am dressed and her input is just what I needed today. If there is a person giving these tips expressively for CDs, I have not found her but if you have a link, I’m sure the rest of us cross dressers would step out of your elite status and stay with others at the same stages of life we are currently in.
Lucille, thank you for your input. It means the world to some of us that we can be accepted just the way we are.
Christina
Beth,
I understand that you are A LOT further along in your process than others who have come here looking for advice. I am not full time and have not started hormones or any body modifications other than hair removal in various parts of my body. Therefore, I do not claim to be anything other than a cross dresser, however, I want to look my best, feel my best, and present myself in the most feminine form possible when I am dressed and her input is just what I needed today. If there is a person giving these tips expressively for CDs, I have not found her but if you have a link, I’m sure the rest of us cross dressers would step out of your elite status and stay with others at the same stages of life we are currently in.
Lucille, thank you for your input. It means the world to some of us that we can be accepted just the way we are.