Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
My confidence is up and down. The more I get to go out in this world, the more I feel like I belong and am confortable and its a wonderful natural feeling. When there are streches of time I can’t be myself, the lack of confidence returns. People figure me out easily when i get nervous like this. I must remember to try and set my mind , hold my head high and say to myself, I belong in this world too!
Fear is a big issue for me. I haven’t gone out in a few months, but I have gone out more this year than any before, BY FAR.
“Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear, and I will let it pass through me.” – Arther C. Clark, Dune.
I couldn’t agree more facing your fears is hard but once you accept that it is really none of anyone elseses business it really is quite easy. The sky dive is one of the most exillerating experiences just enjoy every moment of it.Really the only thing to be afraid of is the ground!
The greatest thing that holds most of us back is the fear of other people’s opinions. I’ve learned to say be dammed with other peoples opinions. I’m accepted and much happier now as I am. I say be at peace with yourself and do it responsibly and be real and natural. Don’t try to stand out too much.
I have NEVER been afraid to go out en femme from the start, actually about my third time dressed. I figured that if I put in all the effort to get ready and look good, then why stay in the closet. Yes, deportment and confidence are very important, per Sandy’s answer, but if you do not go out how are you going to evolve and learn? I recommend going to a shopping mall. Most people won’t even notice you as they are too hung up on themselves and what store they are going to visit next. So go for it…Love, CC
Hello Lucille,
Love the blog! while I do understand the concept behind it all.for me it still really doesnt help. my fear is not what others think of me.it is none of my business.reality is,there are Alot of people everywhere in this world who would love nothing more than Kill a member of the LGBT community.this is a reality that is VERY REAL.this is a crazy world we Live in.it could be anyone of us making a quick trip to the store to pick up milk,get shot,stabbed and never make it back to our loved ones again.I am Trans,I was diaognosed with gender dysphoria when i was younger.started HRT 3 months ago today.I also have a very supportive and loving wife.it is that fear that stops me from being who i know i am inside..even more so when me and my wife are out together because it is also putting her Life in danger.if someone shot me they more than likely would not leave her alive ethier. I for one know first hand how society is being an officer on the street for 5yrs which I left in 2008 due to job stresses.I live in a city that has a very low hate crime rate.I know it is something I need to get over,but it is hard. Thank you for all your wonderful Blogs!
Nikki..
The #1 thing that holds us back is fear (deportment & grace come in a close 2nd) The ans. is confidence. Know that you belong. Be self assured.It’s easy to act normal when you know it’s normal.
Lucille,
I’ve made 55 jumps myself, many years ago. Your fear is in your mind. You will remember very little about the first one because your fear blocks your mind. The second is fantastic because you know what is coming and the fear is minimized. Be very careful as you can become hooked on the sport very easily. Have lots of fun and enjoy!
Cheryl
WOW Cheryl, 55 jumps! That’s awesome!
I’m doing this more as a way to expand my comfort zone than anything else. I figure if I can jump out of a plane, I can do anything. 😉 But who knows, maybe I just will become addicted to skydiving.