I’ve observed that many crossdressers and transgender women recognize their gender identity at a young age. For some, it’s an early realization, while for others, it unfolds later in life.
I’m curious about your experience…
When did you first realize you were female or had a feminine side? Was this something you felt as a child, or did it develop over time?
I’d love to hear your story! Feel free share your thoughts in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
my female cousin made dress like a girl, and have loved it ever since!
I first Noticed at 4 years old. It grow from there & now at 48 years old am tranforming into a woman. hope to be living full time as a female in 3 or 4 months.
I recall being a girl from my earliest memories. My mother had two older boys before my sister and wanted another girl. She picked the name Fionnuala in the event that I was a girl. My sister, with two older brothers, also wanted a girl. When my dad and the boys were not around, my mom and sister helped me to dress up and we played girly games. Along with my sister I helped my mom cook, bake and do the housework. I loved being treated as a girl. They called me Fionnuala. My parents are both dead now but when we’re alone, my sister still calls me her sister Fionnuala. As I got older, they helped me with make up. My sister had boyfriends – something she knew I envied about her but was always to willing to discuss with her as she also knew that I have only ever wanted to be a sister to her. Coming from a catholic household in Ireland, I never got the chance to publicly admit my situation let alone transition. While I desired to live with a man, I knew I wasn’t gay. I wanted to be a wife and mother. The latter wasn’t physically possible and the former wasn’t an option in a repressed society. Things have changed now in Ireland but probably all a little late for me. I’ve built a public life and a successful career as a man. I still exist as Fionnuala very much in secret and of course, with my sister. I will be in a position to retire early in a few years and would love to transition then. If God spares me, perhaps I could openly spend the last third of my life as Fionnuala. Who knows? I may yet even fulfill the dream of being a good wife to a good man.
Hugs to ye all
Fionn
I think I was in the 6th grade when I started sneaking moms panties, bras and girdles out of her dresser drawers and putting them on. It just felt so good dressing up and slipping around the house by myself! I bought my first skirt at the schools lost and found sale for .50 cents. In the gym in front of the whole school. I couldn’t wait to get home and try it on. It fit me perfectly and I would wear it every chance I got. Even sneek off into the corn patch and change clothes and enjoy being a girl out side and free. I so loved it! Now I have a bit more feminine things but I still cant be free again until I find my corn field or just walk out the front door and face the consequences. I am so proud of all the girls that have walked out their front door! Love ya, Shelly
I first realized it when I was around 11 years old, though I was not really free to dress as I wished until after my divorce. What a change in my life and a change in me. I am a totally different person as a woman. No longer am I “angry at the world” as my ex used to tell me and my depression seems to have disappeared.
We all wonder what the other path would have been like. I wish I had known then what I know now. What a different life I would have had. Still, no regrets. I am on a wonderful journey and I like who I have become. Life is too short not to follow your desires and dreams.
Hi Diane!
I too just discovered how free it is to live your dream.
I knew from an early age that I was a woman. But back in the 60’s and early 70’s that was not a cool thing. I was caught wearing my step-mom’s undies and my dad asked me if I wanted to be a girl. I was in 10th grade when this happened.
Maybe I should have said yes. But was scared!
I have no regrets on how I lived my life. I was so depressed over the last year, but a few weeks ago when I made the decision to live my new life as Olivia, it was like a huge weight was lifted from my life. I really no longer fear the depression that I have fought all my life! I am very open about talking about my new life (even to people from my Church). For the first time in 54 years, I just got my nails done. Even though I am not ready to live 100% as Olivia, I am working to that goal.
I am still learning about make up and really need to work on my voice. Learning how to sit, walk, drink, eat and just being a woman is a challenging but yet very rewarding task.
I know that most of my family will never fully understand this transition in my life. They will think I am sick or something.
I still love women, and really do not think that I will ever be attracted to another man sexually.
I really do love who I am now, And am looking forward to living life as Olivia.
This is a really good question. I imagine, the first time I experienced the desire was when I was quite young, living on the souhwest side of Chgo. I had a little girl, when I was quite young sit on my lap on the sidewalk and I noticed a difference, between her anatomy and mine. I knew, I wanted what she had, but times were a lot different in the 50’s, than they are now. I also, remember putting on a gift outfit, for my then girlfriend, realizing it was something I desired. Also, I enjoyed having girlfriends, when I could have them, to pal around with. I started wearing panties, permanently, in my twenties, and have never looked back. Also, going to strip bars and admiring the dancers, for what they had and what I was missing. This is only a small portion of my femiinine side growing up. The downer, was that I couldn’t move forward as much as I would have liked to, because of the times and also, because I had to battle epilepsy and fortunately, that is under control now. Recently. I asked about spironolactone and the estrogen patch and you haven’t responded. Thank you and Bless you, Whitney Lyn
When I was a small boy, my sister would dress me up in girls dress because I was so shy and sissy. Then at age 16, I secretly wore my niece
dress when nobody around. When in school I avoided rough games like football or rugby. Later year I got married due to loneliness. But my
feeling as a girl did not go away until now. Been married is an disadvantage to me because difficult to dress out whenever I feel like
dressing up. Until now I feel depress with life.
Been there done that, I know the feeling. However now I am divorced but also free to follow my dream
You look very nice and I like raspberry dresses too.
You look very classy Ashley
I was the only boy in the family and the baby. It was the 60s and my two older sisters would have a blast dressing me up as “Randa.” In the early part of that decade the style for girls and women was quite feminine compared to now. They dressed me in their exquisite little girl dresses that didn’t fit them anymore, as they were 6 and 11 years older than I. They’d put makeup on me, paint my nails, perfume, bows in my hair and the whole nine yards. At this age, I thought it was great fun too, and to be the center of attention-yay! It didn’t register with me then that this was suppose to be humiliating or anything of the sort. I loved the way the clothes felt too! They’d parade me around the neighborhood showing me to the neighbors, and one time all the neighbors came over for cocktails to watch me-Randa the Ballerina- perform in the living room for them all. I was a sensation evidently, and they all got a big kick out of it. My sisters moved out, and I was just a boy doing my thing without any thought of dressing up anymore. Then came puberty. I was sexually attracted to girls, and am today happily married to a woman, who incidentally, LOVES my alter ego as Randa. But aside from liking the girls, etc., when puppetry hit, the craving to dress, put on makeup, and do all the rest “girly” raised it’s darling head too. Those childhood memories came flooding back, and I found everything to be exciting, and in every respect so. I have never stopped since. I enjoy being a man mostly, but I need to allow Randa her space too and need to feel girly. I am much more comfortable going out on occasion en fem now compared to prior years, but I would encourage any of you younger girls/gurls to start going out publicly now. Times are a changing and there’s events, places, etc., that are for or encourage crossdressers/transgendered attendance. You’ll regret it if you don’t, because while we can all look fabulous at any age, there’s nothing like the youthful beauty you’re granted for too short of time.
Wishing all the best, and thank you Lucille for hosting this wonderful web site, and providing all the support and information that you do. Xo Randa