When it comes to expressing your gender identity, navigating labels can be tricky. For those identifying as transgender or non-binary, finding the right words is essential.
Obviously, it’s important for people to use language that respects and reflects your identity. Outdated or offensive terms can be hurtful.
However, it’s important to remember that you’re more than just a label!
Ultimately, what matters most is how you personally want to be addressed, regardless of where you fall on the gender spectrum.
So, let’s talk about it!
Do you have a particular term or label that resonates with you – such as crossdresser, transgender woman, non-binary person, or something else?
I’m eager to hear your thoughts, so let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I like labels, but I don’t know how to label myself. By current definitions, I’m a transvestite with a desire to completely transition one day. But I don’t like the connotation of the word “transvestite”. I kinda wish everyone wasn’t looking to put a label on everything but I understand the need. For now, I just am myself, doing my best to be happy with who I am!
I do not like labels because in my opinion to label someone is to judge someone.
Very sexy!!!!
publicly i identify as transgendered as it is something more people can get theie head around. to those who know me, i am a 3rd gendered person. i am neither female nor male but parts of both…and a few things more that neither females or males have. i am lucky.
This entry is going to be long…sorry.
My name is Dori and I love to express my feminine side all the time…to some degree. I always have something “going on”. My toe nails are a beautiful red and my fingernails are always well groomed and clear-coated. I live in a cold climate, even though I don’t wear pantyhose, I do wear black tights. I don’t wear panties, as the crotch area is too narrow and I have an uncomfortable “falling out”, so whitey-tighties are all I wear. I have shoulder-length, thick hair that I wear in a gender neutral cut that I can “girlie up” when necessary. (An insert…Because my hair is rather thick, I had trouble with tangles after shampooing/conditioning. I found that taking a plastic styling brush into the shower and using it on my fully conditioned hair to smooth-out the tangles. This process takes only a minute or so and works the conditioner into my hair better…at least I feel it does…and removes all the tangles without the painful and damaging brushing after I shower and towel-dry my hair. I hope this helps some of you to some degree…it works well for me.) My eyebrows are neatly shaped, but not too girlie, as I am a licensed professional and must maintain some degree of conformity. I have single pierced ears and wear gender neutral earrings all the time. There some really neat stainless steel earrings for men that look great. I wear tinted lip balm all the time. This is me most of the time. I get no “looks” when I go out. I just look like a well groomed guy that has a neat appearance. I am just great with that. However, looking like that most of the time is not enough. I must express my feminine side more from time to time. I experimented with many different looks over the past couple of years. I wanted to see how much I could get away with, before getting the “look”. The biggest feminine features that most of us have to deal with are breasts. Just how much is enough? I have been working with Lucille’s methods for quite some time and have limited success, mostly because of my age (56) and my genetic background (small family genes). I am 5’ 8” and 150 lbs. I hope that when I am done, I will be able to fill out a 40AA. That is my modest goal. A 40AA will be noticeable when I want and not when I need to be more male. I am currently a 40AAA and they are somewhat noticeable when I wear the right clothing. However, when I want to be Dori, I use a 40A mastectomy bra with number 5 silicone inserts. I also use a belly wrap that compresses my fat. This gives me a good shape, without being “over the top”. I experimented with various sizes that included very small silicone inserts and progressed to what I wear now…just to see what I could get away with without getting the “look”. I also wear some makeup, but nothing very noticeable. By wearing a modest look, I can still be mostly gender neutral on my face and avoid the stares and still have the feeling of wearing makeup. I get an occasional look that is more curiosity than disapproval. I also get an occasional reference to being a girl…which is cool!! I can live with that. Hands are important. I wear fake, bright red color, finger nails on my pinky of each hand. I also wear “girlish” rings on both pinkies and another on my off hand between first and second knuckle of my ring finger. This looks balanced and nice. I experimented with shaving my legs, but the re-growth was nearly unbearable. However, I’ve found that using electric hair clippers on the closest setting removes almost all the hair, without that re-growth stubble that interferes greatly with my sleep. It looks just fine, especially from a few feet away. Additionally, I use the clippers on my arms and I shave my hands regularly.
In summary, when Dori steps to an outside environment, she wears jeans (or shorts) and sneakers with a pastel golf shirt or women’s modest top and a turtle neck shirt over a 40A bra. Her hair has bangs and is naturally soft curled. Dark eyeliner (some guys wear “guy-liner” anyway), slightly off-skin colored eye shadow…noticeable if closely observed. I also wear just a hint of rouge. I wear a product called Alba terra tints lip balm. I use two colors…bloom and blaze. Bloom has just a hint of color that gives my lips a more uniform color appearance (I wear Bloom all the time…makes my lips feel great!). Blaze has much more color and when I am out as Dori, in certain conditions, I will wear a light “coat” of Blaze and it gives my lips more color, but not so much as it appears that I am wearing lipstick. I wear dangle earrings, but nothing over the top…and hand dressings as mentioned above. Dressed like this, I feel really confident that I am expressing my feminine side, but still can move about as a guy… without all the “baggage” that comes with being fully crossed.
I have two places that Dori comes out, Casinos and “foreign” golf courses. Casinos have always been more tolerant to how people dress and act. Seeing someone dressed “out of the ordinary” is more common and almost always overlooked or ignored. So, when Dori wants to step out, a casino is a perfect location. I either sit at a slot machine and drink wine or at a table and drink whatever. I have never had a problem with how I am dressed and being that I am a “regular”, everyone just says “Hi Dori” and I ease into the scenario and have a great time every couple of months for a two or three days at a time. The second location for Dori is foreign golf courses. I travel in my travel trailer to various locations away from my home area. When I leave my area, I stop a few miles from town and change into Dori and remain as such for the duration. Given that I am a licensed professional, I really can’t be seen as Dori around my small home town; that could cause complications. As a professional, I am supposed to make people feel comfortable around me…showing up as Dori would not accomplish that goal.
I was somewhat hesitant about playing golf as Dori and eased into it, but even when I am dressed as Dori (as mentioned above), I have no issues. However, during the summer I wear gender neutral shorts and a pastel golf shirt…without the turtle neck undergarment. I play from the men’s tees, as I am a 6 handicap, and playing from the forward tees would be awkward. I play many different courses 120-200 miles from my home town and have never had anyone even give me more than a casual glance. I have a couple pairs of golf related earrings, that I usually get positive comments from women golfers. I have always been somewhat surprised that I am so accepted on the golf course when I am clearly en-femme, but clearly a guy.
In summary, what I am trying to express to you; if you have even the slightest ability to wear something feminine in public…do so. Start out modest…in another town…possibly in an Indian Casino…there are many in every state. Gradually add to your look, until you feel comfortable expressing your feminine side…but still remaining a guy. You will be surprised how much you can express and not get the “look”. Those of you who have perfected (or nearly) your feminine side and can “pass”…I salute you and more power to you! Those of us, who want to express our feminine side, should be a little more assertive and bring out the girl from time to time…at least to some degree.
It has been my sincerest goal of this blog to share my experience in hopes that it gives some insight as to another way to express our feminine side without the awkward looks we get when we are fully crossed. Almost all of us wear something feminine from time to time…that is what makes us feel good. A lot of us wear something all the time…that makes us feel good. Wearing something outwardly feminine is usually our goal and I hope that my experience and experimentation gives you some ideas on how you, too, can bring out your girl side…from time to time…at least to some degree.
Dori.
I am a woman no matter what people say. thanks lucille
Being transexual is not a sin rather it is natural like to be called lady,thats make happy.
I was born in this male body 59 hrs ago. I have always wanted to be nd dressed when ever I could as female I feel female I think and dream female and really love female things I dislike sports have never felt like a macho type person and have always been very sensitive to others and how others are and felt submissive in those roles. In my life I have lived the male role and carried out my resposibilities with Honor but so desperatly desire to be 100% female in all areas including looks and apperance. I have been on female hormones for two years and have nice breasts developing but hate this thing still between my legs at my age is seems silly but would so love to have it gone and live fully as a woman and be able to enjoy a wonderful man inside me and be able to be 100% his I guess I am twogenders trying to be one in all areas but so sad while the two can not be one and that’s all female
At the present time I enjoy and also advise others that I am transgender because that is the situation of where I am at the present that is “transgendering”
The only time I’m offended is if I’m classed as a cross dresser and I will set you straight right away