What do you think of when you hear the word “ladylike?” Beauty, poise, and class? Or perhaps, outdated notions of femininity?
To me, being ladylike means being classy, gracious, and elegant. No matter what your idea of femininity might be, I’m sure we can agree that these are great traits to have.
If you’re a crossdresser or a transgender woman who wants to be perceived as a lady, there are a few things you should steer clear of.
Read on to discover 5 common mistakes that can detract from your ladylike image.
Mistake #1: Showing Too Much Skin
Being ladylike definitely doesn’t mean being a buttoned-up prude. However, good taste goes a long way when presenting yourself as a woman.
It can be tricky to know how much is too much, so here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Show off one part of your body and keep the rest covered. A little mystery is sexy, so show off your legs, breasts, or back – just not all at once.
- Flaunt the right amount of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is to reveal 20%-40% of your bust. This gives you sex appeal, while keeping it classy.
- Try the finger length test. To determine the proper skirt length, stand up straight and put your arms to your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
Mistake #2: Not Minding Your Manners
Good manners and etiquette are dying arts in today’s world. Saying “please” and “thank you” are simple ways to elevate your ladylike status.
The rules of etiquette can be a bit more confusing. To learn more, check out my blog post on 6 modern etiquette tips for your male to female transformation.
Mistake #3: Being Sloppy With Your Grooming
Grooming can make or break your feminine image. In fact, studies show that grooming has more of an impact on your attractiveness than the physical features you were born with.
Are your grooming habits up to par? If this area needs work, be sure to see my article on 5 feminine grooming habits not to ignore.
Mistake #4: Losing Control
One of the most important qualities of a lady (and of any respectable human being) is self control – especially when you’re out in public.
In other words, no diva acts, angry outbursts, or public displays of drunkenness. It seems obvious, but if celebrity tabloids are any indication, it’s not.
Mistake #5: Poor Posture Or Body Language
Finally, don’t forget that your posture and body language communicate more about you than anything you say. Here are some major no-nos:
- Slouching
- Biting your nails or playing with your hair
- Not making eye contact
- Crossing your arms
For an even more comprehensive list, review these 27 male to female body language mistakes to avoid.
Do you aspire to be ladylike?
So what do you think of the term “ladylike,” anyway? Do you find it outdated and offensive towards women? Or a feminine quality worth aspiring to?
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked these tips, you’ll love my FREE 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I’m 6 Ft 7 In. And much too tall to be passable. But at home I still dress up for myself.
I attended a special girls (trans girls) finishing school in the mid 1970s and after 1 month of training and having to live full time as a female while there I graduated along with 15 other girls. The 5 items were covered and other things as well were taught to us and I have practiced these things all my life trying to be as feminine and womanly as possible. The whole objective is to make us pass as a woman in life.
Hi Julie,
what a helpful comment, thank you. I know a lot about female behavior, but I would love to attend such a school like you did. May I get the name of the school (if it still exists?)
Thank you for your help.
Best regards
Marlene
Hi Marlene, That was back in the mid late 1970s and was located in a secluded rural area of the Napa-Sonoma wine country. It was called “Mistress Olivia’s Finishing School For Special Girls”. The head Dominatrix and owner was Mistress Olivia. She also let us address her as Head Mistress. There were several other Dominatrices that taught classes. I don’t think they are still open. But there are other schools that can be found on line.
I feel so lady-like with my new lacy bra.Plus my new White silk-blouse i feel extra feminime. I love it !
hello there
You look gorgeous. So good to be FEMME. Roxy.XXX
I spent my day today out shopping with a couple of female friends of mine. We tried on dresses, went to lunch and just had a great girly day! It was a lot of fun. Now that I’m retired, I live my life pretty much 24/7 now as a female. I love it! Here is what I wore today. Just try to blend in as any other woman would.
That print looks very nice on you.
Hugs
Hey, Suzy Q …the ” Q” stands for ” Quitie pie”!!
I am doing the same as you, out and about, lunching, shopping…
Loving life with girlfriends!
Love to you…Dr.T.J.
Lookig Good!
Hello I love to crossdress with stockings and heels and I do look nice I like what you are wearing wish I could see a bigger picture of you.
Lance.
Looking good Suzy. I am a bit envious that you are living as a woman. We are planning to move (hopefully) and I want to try to do the same. If I can work and live as a woman it would be a dream come true, and it seems a shame that we have had to wait so long to feel comfortable to do this (I’m 63).
It is so great that you are able to do this and you are an inspiration;at least to me. Just hope that I have the courage to follow through as you have.
All the best.
alice
Thanks Alice for the comments. I’m now in my early seventies. I’m lucky that I’m only about 5’6” and fairly slim. I am able to got out in public now daily as a woman and never have any issues. Always very positive to be treated as a female. In fact I was out last night at a very nice restaurant with a friend. All I get is Ma’am and other female adjectives. I love it. I just try to blend in as any other woman out doing her thing. Here is what I looked like last night. Just go for it, and it comes very naturally.
You look very happy,I am getting towards retirement and like yourself want to spend much more time girlie. I think you blend in very well, you look so natural
Thanks Katie! You will love retirement! I’m free to be me which is a woman. So much fun!
Very nicely stated Lucille (as always). My years of practicing to be very “ladylike” all come back to one main theme: SLOW IT DOWN! I walk slower, more deliberate with my steps/hips. I talk slower, take my time to finish speaking, add some inflection, and smile a lot. I eat slower, smaller bites, more time in between each, enjoy each taste while slowing down using my fork-knife-spoon. I sit down slower, very deliberate sweeping motion, careful to fold my skirt/dress underneath, settle into a nice position with my knees together, ankles crossed, arms and hands in close. I drive slower. I prepare meals slower. I REALLY take my time with my shower, shaving, moisturizer, hair, make-up and enjoy the process. I also take my time dressing to enjoy the process, step-by-step, always fashion minded. I slow down with friends when we talk and I listen so much more and smile a lot. It is so fun and feels so natural to relax into being very feminine in every way.
Cathy:
Nicely stated, and right on target. I XD, not trans, so swap back and forth. I have to remember to slow down when I am Adeline, and it’s hard to turn that speed off. That’s one of the main benefits to me of dressing, I slow down everything, but it can take a bit to get into that. (Oddly the thing that makes me slow down the most is putting on a bra.)
Choose to have a lovely day,
Adeline
Hi Lucille
I do feel that being ladylike is a quality worth aspiring to. Especially I find the guidance about ensuring I choose a respectable hemline for my skirts and my dresses quite simply invaluable. I have a number of pretty shape enhancing tops, but I remember to not have it all hanging out.
Love Richard
Probably one of most difficult is to have a less aggressive posture – whether sitting or standing. Also, use less aggressive tone and words when expressing one’s opinion. I guess be more defensive and more accepting toward others when speaking or in mannerisms. These are areas that I believe are more ladylike and convey feminism as others observe you.
My wife and I were at our favorite club having a great time. I found it very easy to be lady like by remembering to keep the joints of my arms and legs in as close a proximity as I could whether I saw sitting, standing or walking. It works. Not letting jerks bother you helps, too. I was called out that night. I ignored it and continued enjoying the night out. The jerk just dropped it and moved on. If you don’t give an idiot any attention, then they go away because they can’t muster up the support they need to continue being a bully.
Lucky You , You look great
Oh My God, Gurl friend…you are so gorgeous, the only reason anyone should bother you, would be to get your phone number!!
I am 73 in October, & out in public since the 1960’s…never ever had a problem. I would like to drop 30 LBS, BUT NOT EASY AT my age!
Just ENJOY Being You….T.J.
pics for your evaluation….
Dr T.J.
You look maaahvelous… thought I would drop by to say hello.
Leonara
Can’t believe you got called out you look beautiful and natural, love the makeup what do you use ?
This makeup is unbelievable. It works and says until you want it to come off. No smudges or streaks. Great coverage.
I use Younique. You can find it here. This is my wife’s page. She is a presenter for younique.
OMG. Abbie you are gorgeous.
Thank you. I try. The makeup is magical.