What do you think of when you hear the word “ladylike?” Beauty, poise, and class? Or perhaps, outdated notions of femininity?
To me, being ladylike means being classy, gracious, and elegant. No matter what your idea of femininity might be, I’m sure we can agree that these are great traits to have.
If you’re a crossdresser or a transgender woman who wants to be perceived as a lady, there are a few things you should steer clear of.
Read on to discover 5 common mistakes that can detract from your ladylike image.
Mistake #1: Showing Too Much Skin
Being ladylike definitely doesn’t mean being a buttoned-up prude. However, good taste goes a long way when presenting yourself as a woman.
It can be tricky to know how much is too much, so here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Show off one part of your body and keep the rest covered. A little mystery is sexy, so show off your legs, breasts, or back – just not all at once.
- Flaunt the right amount of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is to reveal 20%-40% of your bust. This gives you sex appeal, while keeping it classy.
- Try the finger length test. To determine the proper skirt length, stand up straight and put your arms to your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
Mistake #2: Not Minding Your Manners
Good manners and etiquette are dying arts in today’s world. Saying “please” and “thank you” are simple ways to elevate your ladylike status.
The rules of etiquette can be a bit more confusing. To learn more, check out my blog post on 6 modern etiquette tips for your male to female transformation.
Mistake #3: Being Sloppy With Your Grooming
Grooming can make or break your feminine image. In fact, studies show that grooming has more of an impact on your attractiveness than the physical features you were born with.
Are your grooming habits up to par? If this area needs work, be sure to see my article on 5 feminine grooming habits not to ignore.
Mistake #4: Losing Control
One of the most important qualities of a lady (and of any respectable human being) is self control – especially when you’re out in public.
In other words, no diva acts, angry outbursts, or public displays of drunkenness. It seems obvious, but if celebrity tabloids are any indication, it’s not.
Mistake #5: Poor Posture Or Body Language
Finally, don’t forget that your posture and body language communicate more about you than anything you say. Here are some major no-nos:
- Slouching
- Biting your nails or playing with your hair
- Not making eye contact
- Crossing your arms
For an even more comprehensive list, review these 27 male to female body language mistakes to avoid.
Do you aspire to be ladylike?
So what do you think of the term “ladylike,” anyway? Do you find it outdated and offensive towards women? Or a feminine quality worth aspiring to?
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked these tips, you’ll love my FREE 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
i like my figur
I find as a male my manners are often frowned upon, and its not this generation but in fact the majority of people I meet in the course of my job that are of the older or my generation that don’t seem to say thank you and the younger do seem more likely than not to say something polite.
It might be because I work retail but hell if you can’t be polite to a bum then your not well mannered your just paying lip service because you think you can get something out of it.
Just my two cents but your not a lady or a gentleman if your not polite to everyone.
I so love the female form so much and so intensely I want to be a female! I am so entranced with the female body n all things feminine that would love to be one translate I want everything feminine and especially to b ladylike!
Hi Lucille, once again you have hit on something that needs to be aspired to as well as resurrected in society at large. The woman’s movement has done great things as well as damaging other aspects of women’s lives. As a TG woman I have also benefitted, however some of the things ladies are doing aren’t so great. Being loud and obnoxious in public has always been looked down on including public drunkenness. Going out looking like a slob, multiple large tattoos, foul mouth, overly aggressive behavior and so on. I mean are women wanting to be more like men or as women without the restrictions that men put on women regarding job opportunities, expectations to have a bunch of babies or to depend on a man to validate their self worth? I believe that being ladylike is a quality that all women should aspire to in their own lives because this quality sets women apart from men and their crotch scratching, spitting, cursing, burping, drunken loud mouth behavior that I hated so much when I was hiding in the male World. I always appreciate the hints and pointers you share with all us girls. Being lady like is trading up and I for one embrace every chance I have to display this attribute.
I agree with most of what Ellen states. My mother was the ‘perfect’ role model of demeanor and ‘niceness.’ I like to pick n choose available styles and not be locked into hard / fast restraints on what is ladylike. Recently saw a young, healthy, ravishing, tertiary student hop on my bus to the city. Her attire: Scrunched up denim jeans, loose tshirt all straight from the dryer! Hair undone. She was off to lectures and totally in the zone! That’s my sometimes role model even though I’m a senior now. Ladies need down-time too whenever. Being ladylike is about respect for ourselves and others both in public and private. Love Ellen’s comments and chance to present our p.o.v! Jayne
Thanks for the reminders!!…sometimes it’s really easy to forget mistakes like these when you’re busy or stressed, so I’m really grateful you posted this blog!
I’m curious about the first one though, about balancing skin coverage….I remember you also mentioning it in Stepping Out Secrets a while ago and have since always kept it in mind why coordinating my outfits. However, how do you adjust the balance for the sweltering/freezing seasons? (it seems like a lot of women wear more or less when the temperature changes…which makes a lot of sense to me…but it also makes me wonder how you redefine that balance?)
Heather, I faced the same question in my mind. May I ask, do you get time to stop and sit?(I ask because some girls lead a VERY busy life, others are insecure about stopping for too long in public) The reason I ask is sit at a table or bench and watch how other women dress. What do they have in common? What stands out. What doesn’t? I learned alot just observing other girls. Then when you decide your attire for the day, check yourself in the mirror. Be honest and know your strengths and weaknesses when you do. I sincerely hope this helps!
Ladylike articles and the associated website under point #2 was very helpful. Bookmarked it and will be reading the hints. Thanks for the heads up on this site.
Hi Lucille, and Ladies. I have found your hints and tips to be a wonderful help, and validation, in the ways i dress and present myself. In some respects they assist me with the little things that make such a huge difference; the things that are taught to young girls that boys don’t need to know.
In other respects, such as ladylike conduct; I feel very much validated, as these tips you have provided here coincide with how I felt I should be presenting myself when I first started going out in public. As I read through your ladylike tips, I started to understand why so many girls, and guys, would come up to me to say I was gorgeous.
Thank you for your time and effort in providing this assistance to us gender fluid people; It helps make a difficult transition a lttle easier.
Take care.
Live, Love, Learn, and Enjoy!
Dear Lucille,
Us senior CD”s are very sensitive to conducting ourselves in a “Lady Like Manor.”
Sure there are times we want to dress and act “Foxy,” as if we were 30-something and a “Hot to Trot” once again. But, that only works when we are at a recreational party or other gathering of some kind.
Going out solo, shopping, dining, etc. we need to remain subdued in our femme appearance and blend in with all the other “Grandma’s” at to mall.
Respectfully,
Ms Luna Marie