Have you noticed that all stunning women have one thing in common – besides their killer looks? It’s CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is also half the battle of passing or blending in as a woman. That’s why the best MTF advice I can give you is to develop your confidence!
Of course, I understand that it’s easier said than done. That’s why in this blog post, I share 3 ways to feel more confident as a crossdresser or transgender woman – starting right now!
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How can you expect to feel confident if you constantly put yourself down?
Most of us are so used to criticizing ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s a bad habit – but like all bad habits, it can be broken.
The first step to stopping the cycle is to interrupt your thoughts. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, literally tell yourself to STOP.
Next, find a way to reframe your thoughts into something more positive. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Look for progress rather than perfection.
This might sound like simple advice, but it works if you actually do it.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. And just like your muscles, it’s something you can develop and improve.
One of the best ways to develop confidence is to take action. You’ll never build confidence if you stay in your comfort zone and do the same things you’ve always done.
So get out there and try something new! Take a few risks! For example, step out with painted toenails, book a makeup lesson, or join a crossdressing or transgender Meetup.
Once you do, you’ll be amazed at how confident you start to feel in situations that once terrified you.
3. Celebrate Your Successes
Appreciating your accomplishments is another great way to increase your confidence.
It’s easy to focus on the areas that still need improving, but don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come.
What risks did you take today? What did you do well? No matter how small, start to recognize these and celebrate them.
More confidence boosters
Confidence is one of the most important feminine qualities you can develop. These tips are a great starting point.
If you want to learn more, here are my favorite books for building confidence:
- Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Now let’s hear from you…
Where do YOU fall on the confidence scale? If you consider yourself a stunning, self-assured woman (and I hope you do!), what confidence boosting tips can you share?
Please leave your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. One of my favorite confidence boosting tools is hypnosis. Want to try it for yourself?
Click here to sign up for my FREE 8 minute Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
Oh! Play into risk is a tasteful subject! I’m trying to play this game more and more. Today in trhe evening in my train I did make up without noticing the others. I wear only female dress from summer 2011 and try to do my make up at the working table before I leave my job, but today my chief visited our room and I had to do it in the train.
I am pre op MTF Transgender and feel totally comfortable with myself. I have no fear of going out and mixing anywhere. I shop, go to restaurants travel on public transport, stay in hotels. In short, I am who I am and try to be true to myself. I like me if others don’t then they are the ones on the losing end. This may sound arrogant but it is not meant to be. For too may years I lead a life pleasing others until I woke up and realised that the person I was was not me but someone else. Real happiness is knowing who you are and being happy and proud of who you are. So any of you out there who are Transgender, lift you heads up, look straight ahead and be proud of who you are.
I am very confident. I go shopping, dining, movies, concerts, and even bowling en femme.
Lucille,I know risk taking really works. For years I imagined going to a lingerie store en
femme but was terrified of being rejected. But I noticed one local store had a large
selection of plus sizes and the atmosphere seemed friendly. So finally I worked up the
courage to go out in my favorite dress and sensible shoes,checking that my make up
was perfect LOL To my great relief the saleslady greeted me and was most helpful in
selecting a bra,which I even went to a dressing cubicle to try on! I felt so much more
confident from that point on,a real ego booster.
It was a VERY big step when I began living fulltime as a woman in August 1996. I never thought I would have the courage to ever do such a thing. Since then, I have not looked back, but instead kept my eyes to the front and took whatever came my way or what happened to me.
I’ve been asked what I’ve done since 1996. Well, been hospitalized a few times, get my medical care thru the VA system, changed my name, bought cars, rented apartments, and registered to vote. Oh yeah! I’ve also been to my last four high school reunions, the 35th, 40th, 45th, and in October of this year, the 50th. This in a town of around 7000 people. I don’t live there any more, but do visit once in a while.
In other words, I did whatever was, or is, necessary to get thru life on a day by day basis. Today, I seldom get a second look while out shopping, eating at a restaurant, taking my car in for repairs.
Two years ago I did the paperwork, was fingerprinted, sent in the money and was issued a lifetime “License To Carry A Handgun”. And I do carry, every day and every where. I got into the ‘gun world’ about three years ago, and have bought 13 guns since. Just put a 50th Anniversary Ruger 10-22 on layaway yesterday, to be picked up in February 2015.
Just living life to its fullest. It’s like McD’s: “I’m Loving It!”
Live the day!
Gerri
Wow you are my sort of girl, maybe except the guns – they frighten me, but I understand and agree with all you say. Congrats to you, I am following in your footsteps.
Love
Heather Xxx
Heather, a gun, whether a rifle or a pistol, by itself, should not frighten you. A gun cannot harm you or anyone else if no one is holding it.
A friend said the same thing you said. I told her, “Let me show you something.” I removed my carry weapon, a .380 Bersa Thunder, from its holster, removed the magazine, cleared the pistol, and laid it on the table between us, not pointing at either one of us.
Then I asked her, “In its present condition, how could this pistol harm anyone?”
She replied, “Well. Someone would have to pick it up…”
“There you are, ” I said. “It’s NOT the gun that hurts someone, it is the person holding it. And if that person is a safety conscious gun owner, then nobody will get hurt.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way!” she said.
Have a great day!
Gerri
I just got back from 8 days on a cruise. I only packed female things and make up. So after the second day , I had lots of confidence. I had no choice, and it worked well
Terri
Well terri, I want to go on a cruise too but just lack the money at the moment.
It will happen soon, ie 2015/2016
we need to start a cruise fund .. or have a trans cross queer cruisathon… Mediterranean cruises are great … greek isles italy Monte carlo .. europeans tend to be very accepting socially .. nest cepas?? avec amour mes amies .. lauralynn
I’d have to say that I have a pretty high level of confidence, I can go out into the world at anytime of the day or not and not worry about it.
After more years than I care to admit, finally (!!!) I have began going outside of my comfort zone. One year ago last October I began wearing some of my ‘underclothes’ outside, to the hair salon that I frequent. My stylist is pretty much the only one who truly knows I dress, and it became a game, her guessing (and looking) to see what I had on that day. hose. lightly stuffed bra…girl jeans. She offered to give me a cosmetic application appointment, which I accepted with fear and trembling. Now, one year later, I wear some sort of makeup every day, minimal some days, risqué others. The ‘fear and trembling’ has developed into delight and joy, and I encourage others who have these inclinations to step up and out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right??
hi bobbi. thats basically where i am. i dress in female clothes that basically just look like neutral jeans or tops more or less neutral colours when i am out. because of the type of job i have and the nature of of the type of business, i have to dress fairly conservative male, unfortunately i even have to wear a tie some of the time. but i dress feminine at nite and on weekends. i started wearing VERY lite makeup to work. someone notice and thought it was wierd. she only knows my male side and basically said it was just weird. at nite though i wear more makeup snd usually womens shoes or anklets with a low heel. tonite i was out at walfart .. i mean walmart .. . hehe .. in very en femme mode but still almost neutrally dressed with blue women’s skinny jeans on size 4 and black anklets, and the checkout clerk (an older but NOT old woman)actually called me miss .. then looked again just ssid sweatheart, i guess because she wasnt sure. but its funny how makeup and clothes even subtle hints of feminine or masculine can completely change your appearance. its wierd though, it seems like those who know im male seem to make it a point to call me sir. i hate that. but i thank all you girls and en femmes fr encouragement and support. merci merci merci .. lauralynn