Have you noticed that all stunning women have one thing in common – besides their killer looks? It’s CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is also half the battle of passing or blending in as a woman. That’s why the best MTF advice I can give you is to develop your confidence!
Of course, I understand that it’s easier said than done. That’s why in this blog post, I share 3 ways to feel more confident as a crossdresser or transgender woman – starting right now!
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How can you expect to feel confident if you constantly put yourself down?
Most of us are so used to criticizing ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s a bad habit – but like all bad habits, it can be broken.
The first step to stopping the cycle is to interrupt your thoughts. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, literally tell yourself to STOP.
Next, find a way to reframe your thoughts into something more positive. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Look for progress rather than perfection.
This might sound like simple advice, but it works if you actually do it.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. And just like your muscles, it’s something you can develop and improve.
One of the best ways to develop confidence is to take action. You’ll never build confidence if you stay in your comfort zone and do the same things you’ve always done.
So get out there and try something new! Take a few risks! For example, step out with painted toenails, book a makeup lesson, or join a crossdressing or transgender Meetup.
Once you do, you’ll be amazed at how confident you start to feel in situations that once terrified you.
3. Celebrate Your Successes
Appreciating your accomplishments is another great way to increase your confidence.
It’s easy to focus on the areas that still need improving, but don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come.
What risks did you take today? What did you do well? No matter how small, start to recognize these and celebrate them.
More confidence boosters
Confidence is one of the most important feminine qualities you can develop. These tips are a great starting point.
If you want to learn more, here are my favorite books for building confidence:
- Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Now let’s hear from you…
Where do YOU fall on the confidence scale? If you consider yourself a stunning, self-assured woman (and I hope you do!), what confidence boosting tips can you share?
Please leave your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. One of my favorite confidence boosting tools is hypnosis. Want to try it for yourself?
Click here to sign up for my FREE 8 minute Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
My confidence has grown in the last year or two, so much so, that I now go shopping en femme without batting an eye lid. I just love every second of it and so far I have been treated exceptionally well.
My new motto is ‘just do it’, it’s the spice of life. My new goal is to travel en femme on an Air Line and hopefully to see a friend in Canada.
Love to all that read it.
Heather XXX
I am 100% confident that I pass for female 75% of the time when I go out. Most places I go to treat me as female, some places there are a couple people that don’t. Only a few places that I don’t regularly go to don’t as well (but that’s understandable because its just that they don’t know) I regularly go to VS and am treated fairly nice, get to use the fitting rooms if I ask; don’t have to come back at a less busy time. I have even went and got an eye exam and glasses, treated like a female the whole time and picked out women’s frames. I don’t practice female mannerisms or wear makeup. I would say my hair is between below my shoulder blades and bra strap.
I never went anywhere dressed until I encountered our local support group in 1990. Between them and some wonderful supportive vendors I learned to do makeup and to appear “normal”. For many years now I have gone almost anywhere, shopped, had dinner, clubbed, given presentations to colleges and businesses all en femme. Most of my acquaintances have never met my “guy” self and some don’t even realize that he exists. Positive reactions from those you encounter are the biggest confidence boosters.
I practice female mannerisms all the time. It pays off too because when I am en femme, it feels totally natural. Furthermore, my confidence level now is through the roof so much that if someone has a problem with “Angie”. it’s THEIR problem not mine. Latest pick is a ear to ear grinning Angie in her Bridal gown,,,,,SO MUCH FUN!!
Just gorgeous, girl…totally fabulous style. You are beautiful. Those complements coming from a 73 yo, who has been out in public since the 1960’s.
ENJOY Being You!
Pics for your evaluation…
Dr.Dr. T J.
Angie, you are gorgeous and you deserve to say “it’s their problem”
Love Heather
I too am confident and gaining all the time. with my girlfriends encouragement or just dragging me out of my shell. I watch what the other gals are wearing an dress similar. Yet with my own style. Thus I’m almost invisible and that’s my thrill
Kudos Angie Rineheart! You carry it well and look stunning! Hey Lucille, I was out waiting for a girlfriend to get off work and a guy kept walking back and forth. Then he said that his friend told him that I was a boy and he said that it was really interesting because I looked more like a lady than two of the strippers that worked there!
Made my night!
BeBe
I teach Stress and Anger Management classes and can attest that all of what you’ve said is so true. So much of the self-defeating things we do out of habit is based on our perception of a threat, physical, social or emotional. The key to overcoming these tendencies is to sort out what things we need to fear and what things we don’t. Confidence is based on experiencing life, fighting our fears of the unknown and learning from our mistakes.
Lucille
Two years ago I came out to a friend and my daughter (my anniversary date is 1/1/2013) at age 63. My lady friend took me to a consignment store to buy a starter wardrobe and then to Ulta for a makeup session. Soon thereafter I attended a PFLAG meeting dressed up. Their support was astounding and my confidence began to grow. Then I decided to go to my usual supermarket for groceries. Very nervous upon entering the store but an hour later I walked out much much more confident. Other neighborhood stores followed. I just allow myself to be dressed as nice as possible, makeup well done (not overdone), posture graceful and always with a smile. The more I went out the more I could evaluate how it went. Making fine-tuned adjustments each time, I soon realized that I was being accepted wherever I went without any explanations. Mostly I realized that if someone was caught off-guard by me, they were the ones uncomfortable addressing me and my smile was disarming to them. If I was apparently happy then how could anyone deny who I was. Today I go everywhere without a 2nd thought, confident in my femininity and supremely happy. I started your herbal regimen for breast enhancement in Feb of 2014 and am now a B cup. Having breasts certainly helps. Thank you so so much Lucille for giving me everything that I am today.
Dana
Dana,
What a lovely account of your transition. I am in ore of your strength of direction. Well done to you.
Love
Heather
I also am very confident and secure with my girlie self. I dress everyday and this year I have been doing all my holiday shopping enfemme. it is nice to just blend in with the shoppers and not feel like I am getting stared down.. I am also driving my car more while being dressed femme, not worried about being stopped by the horny cop. LOLOL.
Veronnica