Have you noticed that all stunning women have one thing in common – besides their killer looks? It’s CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is also half the battle of passing or blending in as a woman. That’s why the best MTF advice I can give you is to develop your confidence!
Of course, I understand that it’s easier said than done. That’s why in this blog post, I share 3 ways to feel more confident as a crossdresser or transgender woman – starting right now!
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How can you expect to feel confident if you constantly put yourself down?
Most of us are so used to criticizing ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s a bad habit – but like all bad habits, it can be broken.
The first step to stopping the cycle is to interrupt your thoughts. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, literally tell yourself to STOP.
Next, find a way to reframe your thoughts into something more positive. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Look for progress rather than perfection.
This might sound like simple advice, but it works if you actually do it.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. And just like your muscles, it’s something you can develop and improve.
One of the best ways to develop confidence is to take action. You’ll never build confidence if you stay in your comfort zone and do the same things you’ve always done.
So get out there and try something new! Take a few risks! For example, step out with painted toenails, book a makeup lesson, or join a crossdressing or transgender Meetup.
Once you do, you’ll be amazed at how confident you start to feel in situations that once terrified you.
3. Celebrate Your Successes
Appreciating your accomplishments is another great way to increase your confidence.
It’s easy to focus on the areas that still need improving, but don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come.
What risks did you take today? What did you do well? No matter how small, start to recognize these and celebrate them.
More confidence boosters
Confidence is one of the most important feminine qualities you can develop. These tips are a great starting point.
If you want to learn more, here are my favorite books for building confidence:
- Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Now let’s hear from you…
Where do YOU fall on the confidence scale? If you consider yourself a stunning, self-assured woman (and I hope you do!), what confidence boosting tips can you share?
Please leave your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. One of my favorite confidence boosting tools is hypnosis. Want to try it for yourself?
Click here to sign up for my FREE 8 minute Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
I have confidence in me!!! That song from The Sound of Music was an epiphany moment for me. Until recently i have always lacked confidence and had social anxiety, even before I began feminizing. But I came to the realization that I have the power to be anything I want to be! Some may not understand, but that’s fine! I represent myself and no one else!
I am younger than most of my fellow girls here..I haven’t begun HRT, I plan to take a more natural approach to transitioning. I dress more or less gender neutral, somewhat to the femme side. Sometimes I wear light makeup. I usually don’t try to “pass” as any gender but rather see what kind of response I get from people. I’d say at least half of the time i am greeted as a woman! In 2015 I plan to continue on and go full time femme :))
Love you all, Mira
Reading all the posts I could pick pieces and parts from everyone I had done in my life. I just wish I had made my move to full time years ago.
I’m very confident as about 10 months ago I decided to go full time. Changed my name, had my credit cards, drivers license etc. changed.
Fully accepted at my full and part time jobs along with most all my friends and family I had known for years. I dove in expecting to have to start completely over again with new friends and new jobs but that didn’t happen. Today’s society is much more accepting than I ever expected. Some of my friends and coworkers struggled with the pronoun change but the longer this goes the easier it is for them. Some told me they do not fully understand but as long as I am happy.
It took about 10 years of weekly facial hair removal and skin treatments but it is worth every penny. My fears have been wiped away by the vast acceptance. I think that is because classmates from high school and life long friends know other TG and one of them has a son who is FTM. I had no idea either.
Life is great and I am so happy I made this move and I know everyone else will eventually get there. I want to encourage everyone to keep with your journey. You will know when the time is right to make the leap to full time. It’s a different world than it was even 10 years ago. You may not surprise many you think would be shocked. Good Luck and enjoy!
I went to a pub that calls itself “attitude free” on a busy night. I headed to the dance floor at other end of pub a number of times, danced and smiled. I did not feel confident enough to talk to people except when they had shown by smiles and gestures that they were friendly to me. It felt a safe place to be but it was a mixed crowd with only one or two trans people as far as I saw. Some people wanted photos with me. When having photo with two men there was a hand that moved onto my breast, rather cheekily! My advice is to smile a lot and it can lead to interesting encounters. Smiling makes you look and feel confident.
When I was young and dedicated to my purpose I was afraid but determined and nothing could stop me. I was always accepted as I appeared and went anywhere I pleased with, to my knowledge, no notice that I was other than a woman.
Now that I am much older I find that I am still playing a great masquerade and should be discovered at any time. I like to wear long coverall jean dresses with simple tops and I go in and out of the house, run errands and people see me as who I am. I still dress at work as a man and people still many times address me as a woman. I smiled one day when the security guard corrected someone once who addressed me as a woman as I crossed the street. I heard the guard caution him, as if I might get angry, “that’s a man”! I consider myself very fortunate, even with my long legs that make me close to 6 ft, that most see me as I want them too; still, deep down, I expect to see someone point a finger or snicker “that’s a man.” Sometimes, as crazy as it sounds, I think men are fickle and in some cases are more attracted to an attractive feminine man who has the appearance but not all because some of the angles just very softened still appear in the face or you’re thin and graceful with just enough curve to get you by. I mean I think some men are very attracted to a woman that may display some softened masculine attributes. The fickle comes in when I think that some, especially those who get close to my face when I work the front desk of my job attempting to charm me as they would a woman when they thought I could expedite things for them a little faster. I’m flattered, a little flustered but the man part of me takes hold and it is business as usual. See me so easy as a woman, they must be fickle. Despite my self confidence; not: I believe that we, transgender people, have the best of both worlds being neither man nor woman with all the beautiful insights, attributes and wisdom of both.
unfortunately i get “hit on” quite a bit even when im not in en femme mode … i get hit on by ppl who just figure im a homosexual. its a bit worse when im not in en femme mode. i was always seen as a pretty boy fr years and years .. (and by pretty boy i mean an attractive homosexual male) lauralynn
Jennie: That was all very well said, but I especially agree “with the best of both worlds.” That’s often what I’ve said regarding my strong attraction to TS and CD persons, and when I have and still do dress myself. There is just nothing else remotely like it! The former has been since the age of 7 or 8, the latter since age 22. Now at 68 I still just feel more complete and balanced with either. I’m not saying the two are the same, but I think the truths of them can be very similar. But really, why worry if an improper person points and says something uncouth? I certainly don’t. And you should even less. You look absolutely great and completely passable!!
Best, Donna
Sorry, I got those backward. Crossdressing began at age 7 or 8 and dating a TS at 22. Donna
Sorry, I got those backwards–crossdressing since 7 or 8, dating a TS at 22. Donna
Lucille,
If I was a little shorter and lost weight, my confidence level would be better. BUT I am working on the pounds. However, being 6′ 6″ tall does out me in most instances.
I do dress with class, my make-up is great and I do go to places where cross dressers go but I have not ventured out in the public area ( Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target, etc.
My goal in 2015 is to go out more and see how I am received.
Other than that, I know who I am.. Geri Danielle.
Hi lucille,
I had alwais been afraid of being close to other people (they will notice my mke up, they will identifiy me a a x dresser etc etc…), but lately I decided to live more ” normal” situations such as moving around by crowded buses/undergound, visiting museums, going to cinema or theatre…. i.e. “taking risks” as you say.
Well, I found that it is absolutely natural and that I am allowed to do exacyly what any woman does.
It is fantastic, I now feel perfectly confortable when going out enfemme, and I think this is “confidence” .
By the way, even though it is visibile that I m not a genetic woman now everibody deals with me as a woman, and it is great !
A kiss to all sisters in US from Milan, Italy
Susanna
SO very true!!
The last thing I do after getting ready, no matter the occasion, is to look at myself in the mirror, and say “Hello, beautiful.”
Even if I’m not feeling it, that little statement can change the whole outlook for me. 🙂
Right on target, Lucille! I am not one for over-confidence, which is why I have always gone out when it’s dark and, preferably, when there’s a drizzle that requires an umbrella. My wife helps me out and, while agreeing it should always be when it’s dark (the neighbours!), she always makes sure I look right, make-up and all. That gives me the dose of confidence I usually need so much. Otherwise, I have never had any problems, even when a couple of foreign students stopped me to ask for directions. They didn’t bat an eyelid, thank goodness.