There’s more to speaking as a woman than just feminizing your voice. The words you use (and how you use them) are equally important!
It doesn’t matter how good you look or how “passable” your female voice might be… If you have masculine speaking habits, you’re going to send mixed messages to people.
Here are the main differences between masculine and feminine communication styles:
- Men tend to be more direct and “task-oriented” in their communication. They use their words for the purpose of achieving results.
- Women tend to be more “circular” and detail-oriented in their communication. They use their words for the purpose of forming relationships.
So, what’s the secret to achieving a distinctly feminine style of speech?
In this blog post on transgender voice tips, I share 3 ways to successfully speak as a woman. Read on to learn more!
1. Feminize Your Vocabulary
Men and women have very different vocabularies, so it’s critical to incorporate feminine words into your speech. Here are some key distinctions:
- Women tend to use more descriptive adjectives. A woman wouldn’t tell you about the “pink dress” she just bought. She’d tell you about the “adorable fuchsia Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress” she just maxed out her credit card on.
- Men and women often use different words for the same thing. For example, a guy might call the lower abdomen the “gut, whereas a woman would be more likely to call it the “tummy.”
To expand your feminine vocabulary, listen to women in real life, on TV, and in movies. Read women’s magazines. Look and listen for words you don’t use and incorporate a few new words or descriptive phrases into your vocabulary each week.
2. Talk More
Studies show that women speak three times as much as men. While this obviously isn’t a universal truth, it’s something to consider.
Are you one of those people who answers questions with one word? If so, practice expanding on your answers. Include more details and/or how you feel about the situation. (Yes, talk about your feelings, girlfriend!)
Of course, this does NOT mean you should drone on and on about yourself. Women are also typically good listeners, so make sure you listen as much as you speak.
3. Ask More Questions
Finally, since women use their words to form relationships, they tend to ask more questions. Men tend to tell rather than ask. If a man asks a question, it’s to get down to the point.
Practice asking more questions the next time you have a conversation with somebody. Not only is this more feminine, it makes the other person feel validated because you’re showing interest in them.
Want to learn more about the differences between masculine and feminine communication? Check out the video below to dive deeper into this topic.
Let’s discuss…
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and if you agree with my observations.
How important is feminine communication to you? Do you struggle with this or have you mastered the art of girl talk?
Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I have to say, this is not only a great blog. This is the best way for me to feel like a women. Girl talk with another woman. I feel this is the true way of passing as a woman. To be able to communicate as a female.
Thank you very much!
I think I am all over the place with this. As for my voice I can talk to a stranger on the phone and 8 out of 10 times they will give me a feminine identity when there is no name involved. I have never really had that full masculine sound to my voice but my media background always gave me an incentive to to push it down an octave to portray a certain image.
Now I have always been more comfortable and at home amidst a group of woman when it comes down to conversation. I enjoy the details and descriptive language and usually fit right in as if I were just one of the girls which I am not and that can make me self conscious sometimes them I’m looking all around thinking someone is going to start wondering about me since I’m not over with the guys talking stuff. My job brings me into contact with different clients and I find I have to force myself to stay on task or otherwise end up in a timely conversation that I can’t afford because someone else is waiting. What can I say I’m a conversationalist.
I practice every night to pick up a book and read out loud sounding like a woman from the first word. In reality I think I must confuse the hell out of people because I can be all over the place with how I sound. As I write this the voice in my head sounds like a woman. It use to be more manly but I have noticed that over the years it has changed. I think after 40 years of introducing estrogen to my body it has decided that it must be female and that is the point to all of this for me. It doesn’t matter how I dress in public. Estrogen has controlled my body for so long now that any male image that I portray is a false one. Estrogen rules in everything that I do or say including fighting back tears when I am challenged emotionally to how I think and act about things. yes I am different but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Even though I consider myself a girl and do intend to transition and live a life as the woman I am, I’m a bit confused with these things. I mean, some of these qualities that are mentioned as masculine seem really positive to me (either on a girl or a guy). If I think of it, my sister, who is a genetic girl also speaks in a very masculine way. And that doesn’t mean anything about her gender. It doesn’t even mean that she’s overall unfeminine. She may as well convey femininity through other means (like how she dresses, moves, looks, etc). So even though I really like the articles I read on this blog, I guess I won’t be trying to change my vocabulary or the way I generally speak to be more feminine. After all I want to transition just to be myself, not to force me to be in a given way. I do want to change my voice and I’m working on that… but the way I speak, how much, using which words and so on seems to me like a very personal thing that shouldn’t say anything about my gender (even if statistically they do).
If I can can just get the voice and intonations right I will have little problem fitting in. I have always got along far better with ladies than with men. I must say it is tough with a gravelly southern accent, I’ll make it though!
Hi everyone,
I think this is a big area for many of us and one I have tried to understand. I transitioned about 18 months ago and I find especially when involved in “technical work talk” that I easily fall back into many of my old male patterns. This is especially true for pitch and voice tone.
I have been able to become much more comfortable in an “all-girl” environment where relationship building and sharing is the focus. At first I ws not sure how to act or react but over time and with the wonderful way I am treated, it has started to become quite natural. In fact I realized just the other day as I was explaining how I felt about something to a male friend of mine, he kept trying to help me “fix it” and I was so annoyed! I had to laugh out loud when in frustration I said to myself “I just want you to listen to how it made me feel, not try to fix things!”. He could not hear that though, but I suddenlt understood in a flash all the frustration I have heard other women talk about.
The video is excellent and I think the 3 points Lucielle makes are worth spending time doing. Especially just getting in there and talking. There is nothing better than learning by doing when it comes to this.
Thanks again Lucille for putting together quality information and material for all of us!!
Veronica
HI everyone, this is my first photo on they internet and in public,
see ya..
You look really nice! 🙂
Lucille,
It is amazing on how traits as small as communication can completely make or break who you are. Every girl or guy thinks that physical appearances are the maker or breaker in their person, but you need to dig deeper and work on the smaller traits to become the person you want to be. I have had the hardest time trying to communicate as a woman, but i have been improving by following the advice of my loved ones and facts that you have on your blog. Thank you for posting this, great reading and amazing advice. Look forward to more readings like it, hugs and kisses!
-Darlene
Hi Lucille,
I loved that article and video. Very nice. I think I have more feminine energy because I tend to talk a lot and explain, using descriptive words, asking questions about the other person’s feelings, etc…and my ex girlfriend, who I am still very close to, always tells me that I talk too much lol. She is a GG who most definitely has a lot of masculine energy. Anyways, I really enjoyed that 🙂
Sarah