Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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Hi Lucille!
I think life is a mix of both blending in and standing out. I try to blend in as much as possible on a daily basis so I can walk down the street without being gawked at, but I also try to look as hot as possible so I do stand out for my beauty. And at night it’s glamour time!
Hi Lucille.
I must say that I do whatever I can to blend in. My GF is my best stylist. She makes sure I wear the right clothing for the right occasion. To blend in is far from being a “grey mouse”! Its more like wearing low heel boots in the grocery store instead of the high heel shoes. And to have your hair made up in the typical “undo-style” instead of looking like you are coming straight from the wig shop. And things like that. Oh, yes, I get looks. And I enjoy it. There is just so much to learn about looking and behaving womanly. And I learn a lot from your web, Lucille. Thanks!
Elisabeth
To blend in is the way to go. Honestly most people in life (outside special events) just dress and go out into the world. I never try to pass, I prefer to dress comfortable, age, and situation apropriate. That way I feel confident enough to go about my business what ever it may be.
I don’t want to stand out in the way where people are looking at the guy in a dress. I want to stand out because I look good, pretty, fashionable, you know, in a positive way. My GF calls me her “attention whore”, because wherever we go, guys are looking, walking up and hitting on us, just paying attention. I take it as a real compliment when a man gives me a stare…
Why would i go out and not want to be noticed. when i go out i want guys to look at me and want me. i love it when i get whistled at. i hope some day to have srs and get married to a wonderful man who would want to take care of me.
I agree 100% sister..
Huggs Lynda
I would prefer to just blend in, I want to go out and feel comfortable and confident that I won’t get ridicule from others around me. I know I shouldn’t care what others may think but that is easier said than done. In my teenage years it was much easier but I’m now in my 30’s working in construction so some left over female features (arm hair, eye brows) can make it tougher for Jeremy. So we walk a careful line.
My 2 cents is that I wish I could blend in more. I am confident appearance-wise but can’t stand the sound of my own voice. Most crucial though is I can not get up the courage to leave my home dressed to pass female even though I only wear female clothes and shoes and dress fem from the inside out but do it in a very stealthy way. Makeup, jewelry and fragrance too usually but again stealthily discrete. It helps that I am small and skinny with long hair and little facial hair too. But my heart is breaking now because I have to cut my hair due to it just getting too thin to be femme over the last year due to stress. It makes it even harder now because it means I always have to wear a wig to pass.
I think what I want is everything. First I want to blend in as a woman and walk the street or be in the store shopping with out anyone taking a second glance wondering “is that a man.” On the other hand I like it when I feel someone following me with their eyes or going out of their way to talk to me. I like dressing with tops that are soft and cling to my breast skirts that fit over my hips just right. The cloths make me feel feminine causing me to walk and act the part. Happiness is blending in, being noticed and having the confidence to not care about either and just be a part of everything around you. How often do I get to that point well not as much as I would like although I have my moments of self doubt. I think that is because I live as both man and woman. If I lived just as a woman then I believe I would in time not care what others thought but become my own free spirit confident in myself and my appearance. I think passing, really passing is just being confident in yourself and when you can achieve that confidence then the world will see you as you want them to.
very well put! Jennie.