Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I think I sort of go half way between blending in and standing out. Unlike most women I will generally wear a dress or skirt/top and heels even for something like grocery shopping. Always wear makeup when going out, trying to look my best. If someone recognizes that I am transgender I do not care as long as they treat me as a lady.
I prefer to fit in than stand out, but that does not mean I don’t wear nice clothes as I do. I will wear dresses, Skirts and Tops or Pants and nice Top and yes I even wear Female Jeans at work as I dress as Amy 24/7. I am a Warehouse Manager, I was hired as a female and they know I am in transition.
I’m sorry ladies but except for a few of the super fortunate we already stand out making ourselves stand out more to me is what is hurting those trying to come out. We need to dress appropriately for where we live and what were doing or the event we are attending. I recently had a room mate who dressed in what I would call in appropriate for the area we live she went to our public beach on a lake only a block away she wore a speedo bikini bottom and H cup fake breasts the neighbor hood went into a up roar it looked like she was naked from the waist down. A few neighbors are now like we don’t want any more Transgenders in the neighbor hood I still half to live in both worlds now if I want to come out fully I have half the neighbor hood against me. Yes I have a right to be who I want to be but I also don’t want my neighbors afraid of me. It just was not something that genetic women wear out here. A lot of our friends have tried to get her to dress more appropriately but she like a few others in this blog don’t care about the rest of us or what there doing. Being tall or fat does not make that much difference. I have a skin disease and have a large nose but I have a nice body and almost d cup breasts I get a few looks mostly because of my facial features but have been told by local women that I look very nice many are jealous of my legs I do have great legs I will half to say. By making your self look like a whore or or over dressing is hurting the rest of us we all ready stand out except for a few who I half to look twice. I’ve talked to a lot of genetic women and men who say they have nothing against us actually they admire us for having the courage to step out but they all agree to step out and dress wrong is just hurting the rest of us. I’m not saying hide just do it with class that’s the key I have found is dress classy you can dress sexy and still be classy.
I guess its a matter of choice, if you have the body why not stand out, but if you don’t, blend in, you can still be fem and enjoy, I personally have curves and natural breast, not large but very noticeable, cant hide them, small waist and curvy bottom, fem legs also, this to me, at a younger age was more of a nuisance than anything else, but it makes no difference it’s how you feel mentally that really counts and if you are willing to put up with negativity, because that’s all you’ll get, then so be it, our Western Culture is not ready for us, we are centuries away from acceptance, but we are the seed for the future.
I love to go out wearing more of the “androgynous look” and let people wonder, is it a girl or a boy? I catch their expressions now and then and get a kick out of it, confused minds can’t criticize much.
Hi dear, this Tgirl is similar but needs to be a bit careful in Irish society having lost 80% of my “friends” since Coming Out. However, I long ago decided to Grow Old Disgracefully (poem Warning!) and drag my stick along railings wearing my lovely skirts and makeup!. Yeah!. xxx, Laura.
Sad story Laura, I understand the loss of friends, ditto on that, changing your appearance doesn’t change what’s in your heart, but who wants close minded friends anyway, I lost a few too, fortunately I been fem/male all of my life, as I got older I began to embrace my fem side more, I guess that the little “T” I had has dwindle with age thus allowing for the fem side to become more dominant, I accept , and love the fem strength, this has been a slow process and most of my friends have accepted it gracefully, made fun of my, as they called it “condition” and I went along with it, it just seemed to ease the pain, now, who cares, as my friends become old their estrogen levels are catching up to mine….. my turn to laugh, so at the end, we realize that we are all the same regardless of gender, be free and love yourself.
I agree a 100% its more fun if they half to ask. Ive been asked if Im a real woman that when you feel like a woman.
I think its a personnal decision some people like to stand out for the cause or they are just so pretty they stand out naturally. For me at this time i want to blend in. Thats my thought on the subject.
Iam trying to get my breasts to grow more and they doing good and I am starting to feel better about them . Iam trying to get a new change on my goal I don’t mine that people may see me with small breasts but they are getting bigger and I feel good.
Hi Lucille honey I voted that I prefer to blend in at least now but like you say I would rather stand out if I feel I look good enough and am passable currently I’m not for sure in male mode if my stupid check would ever arrive that would change although I need to get back to being a little lighter I could probably still pass with your help after a short time I’m out of practice with my makeup and my eye sight isn’t what it used to be I need new glasses I’ve so many expenses coming out of my check I’ll be lucky to have any left for much else unless its more than I’m guessing I really don’t know anyway back to your subject at first I wish to blend in until I get more comfortable and relaxed being my fabulous feminine self as you put it honey over time I hope to get even more fabulous and feminine maybe in a couple of years I’ll prefer to stand out it is what being a girl is all about Love ya M.J.
I’d rather blend in. With all the hatred and discrimination toward LGBT folks (even those of us who just like to cross-dress every so often), you never know if you’re going to be another statistic in some police report.
Safety is something I’m not willing to give up.