Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I am no longer concerned about whether I pass or not. I probably don’t anyway. It is not a issue for me. I would rather just be accepted for who I am and be treated properly with respect and acceptance.
I personally prefer to blend in. Is it the ultimate goal? Again – it depends who you are and where do you live. Standing out in Eastern Europe can be dangerous for your life.
Hi,
Ether people know me or the ones who dont allways look at me . i dont pass or blend in & never will.
Tho for one who does stand out , youd have to be blind or well what ever, not to notice, it does not bother me at all. im so used to it now ,
To be femminine or a girle girl just does not sit right with myself as a woman. so what is being feminine,
Feminine in my manerisims how i walk do things talk mix with people, interact with people, more to the point get on with people. & at least know what im talking about .
& yes know when to say nothing .
For me it has nothing at all to do with clothes make up or the outside of my self , its about who i am as a person. that carries me through I have the confidence to be who i allways have been . tho i never really expressed my self as a person for many years, lack of confindence for those years, nothing at all to do with being male / female or I S if you like,
I wonder what it would be like to pass or blend in as a woman . thats some thing i’ll never know.
…noeleena…
Interesting question…after thinking about it, I realized the clothes I buy, the shoes I wear and my makeup all is shouting, ‘notice me’. I have always thought I was being read when people looked at me. Possibly it is that I am noticed as being a relatively attractive woman. I don’t want to settle for just ‘blending in’. Maybe I accomplish that goal, maybe not…who cares, I like being me!
Linda
You have opened my eye and my way of thinking a lot ! I just need to get more close and wigs before I can go out ! I only have one outfit and that’s a blue dress!
Well put, Linda!
If blending in means dressing like women do for the mall or grocery stores then I want to stand out. I have no desire to dress like a slob which seems to be the trend. I like to dress as a woman should dress. xoxoxo Julie
Wow your a hot and sexy lady!
I have to agree with you Julie. Too many times I see cisgender women dressed like slobs in an informal/casual gathering where they should be in much more feminine attire. I enjoy dressing in feminine clothing, ie… dresses and skirts. Even if its just around the house. I love light summer dresses and sandals. If I want to wear pants, I’ll stay in male mod
I completely agree with you Lucille, Meryl, and Julie!!
This is what I usually do in public..the dressy side.
Wow! So I am not the only one who feels that way? I am old enough to remember a time when women dressed like women! OMG, how I miss those days!
Meryl
Amen! I think most GG’s could learn a thing or two from tgirls about caring for their appearances.
Hello,
I blend in rather well and like to believe that people that are “checking me out” are doing so because they see an attactive woman and not to question.
Dressing for the occasion is what I try to do, and the female voice I have developed has allowed me to go out in public with confidence….”believe in yourselves ladies!”
Happy Halloween.
Wanita
Dear Wanita,
I I looked like you, I would definitely want to the attention because I believe that’s what all women want whether GG ot TG.. We want to be noticed but not as a slut.. You are one of the most beautiful ladies I have seen on here..
Take care Big Hugs..
Marcy
For me, it really depends on what you want to accomplish. If I’m just doing everyday things, I want to just blend in but if I’m going out for the evening clubbing or dancing, I want to be a bit more daring and stand out more but maintain my femme passability. In otherwords, don’t overdo it.
At 5’13”, I will seldom go unnoticed. Yet, I tend to “pass” in public because I heeded the advice a female friend gave me about 5 years ago.
We were having dinner at a very elegant establishment when I felt the need to visit the ladies’ room. My fear was real but so was my need. I lowered my eyes and walked as quickly as I could through the restraunt. When I returned to the table my friend said that many of the patrons were surely wondering why such a beautiful and elegantly dressed lady had waited to the very last moment to go to the restroom.
I am an actor and have had the pleasure of performing in a number of musicals and plays. I learned to make a character real on stage, I must become that character.
I set that acting technique to my female life. I am not a sham! I am a lady and I belong in whatever setting I am in. I cannot recall being “read” since I “became” the person I am. I extend my body and display all of my height. I have been asked on three seperate occassions by women if I was a model.
I have worked hard to become who I am. I attend several Zumba and other dance classes every week to keep me lean and toned. I have suffered through hundreds of hours of electrolysis and I care for my skin. I dress stylishly yet appropriately (except I refuse to wear sweat pants and rubber flip-flops while out shopping). I might wear jeans but they are matched with a nice top and appropriate jewelry. My hairs is styled and my makeup is tastefully applied.
Taller women are always going to garner a second glance. Two of my best genetic girlfriends are 5’11” and 5’13”. The shorter of the two wears 4-5″ heels so she won’t feel so “tiny”. I have observed how people look at them and never question their gender simply because they are tall. That has given me confidence.
I am attaching a photo of my 5’11” singing coach and I performing at a charity fund raiser a few months ago to a primarily “straight” audience. My female speaking voice is good but I sing with a trained male voice. The audience didn’t care and just enjoyed the performance. One older gentleman summed it up well when someone asked him if he was upset by a transgender woman performing in the event. He answered “I could care less. I was too interested looking at nearly 12 feet of gorgeous legs”.
Oh, not that I could hope to compete with the my beautiful, younger partner, I am the old broad in the black gown. We were singing and dancing to “Bosom Buddies” (a rather appropriate song for this forum.