Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
Loading ...
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I have been blending in as the woman I am for a while now. My voice work is starting to pay off and I get some awesome comments from customers that appreciate a female field service tech 6performing repairs in their homes. I am rarely ever misgendered and when it happens, it is an honest mistake as I am in a MALE dominated field. In this area, work, blending in feel like the safest mode to be in.
Then, there are the weekends and blending does not feel like a safety issue. I do not really go “all out”, but a lowcut blouse and cute shorts and I definitely do not blend in to the background, though I do feel like I blend in to womanhood quite nicely. I guess for me it really comes down to what I am doing at the time.
I really appreciate your thoughts on things and while I do not comment a lot, I certainly do enjoy reading your articles! Thanks!
It would be nice to blend in, but I don’t try to. Still have 2-3 yrs longer to work. Then maybe.
Till then, still have a beard, just a dude out wearing a skirt or dress. May get a look, but don’t care. Nobody has bothered me.
My main concern right now is will my girlfriend for the past few months be understanding, or break up with me. A recent comment she made about someone where she works, leads me to believe it will be the latter.
Wish I could find not only an understanding lady, but one that would help me.
Jim
I try to blend-in, knowing that in many ways I will *always* stand-out.
As one of a hand-full of female engineers on a campus with hundreds of male ones I would stand-out anyway. But it seems that everyone knows me by name now, whether I have ever met them or not – possibly because I go out of my way to be friendly and do random kind things for random people (but especially people doing thankless-jobs!); and I bake goodies for the people in my meetings; and I am very good at my profession…
…I am a tall, boyish woman; but when people come to know me they realize that I am a woman of transgender experience, and this occurs in natural, relaxed, even winsome ways…
…Anyone who drops by my cube will see hints of my background (like a button on my wall that says: “Puberty is more amusing the second time,” or seeing a seeing a little book of Live Notes from my son: addressed to “Dad,” and other little things). It’s VERY CLEAR from my *presence* that I am a woman, but also that I am a “special sort of woman…”
…Some people know that I am transgender, some people probably suspect, while others seem oblivious: EVERYONE treats me as a woman where the distinction makes any sense. Mostly it seems that people “just” see me as a nice, competent, well-adjusted human being – someone who is fun to be around and who is comfortable in her skin.
(I am pictured here with my team as we were each recognized for our outstanding achievement on a recent difficult project.)
Brettany…..That is a very inspiring life you have made for yourself and knowing who you are inside. I feel much the same now, but I am retired and living my own dream life as a woman with a name change legally obtained, and everyone knows and accepts.
WHEEEEEEE!!! 🙂 <3
I am *so happy* for you!!
Blessings & Joy!!
Bretta
I like to stand out. Passing is an illusion anyways. Might as well turn some heads.
I lie to blend in as opposed to being flamboyant like so many other girls want to be. To me, it’s being rather offensive and I won’t offend anyone especially since we have all kinds of wackos out there who want to make jokes, put us down or worse. Blending in affords me to be out and about and minding my own biz without the pain that can come when we’re made. Most people are understanding and great and most guys even hold a door for us, but it’s the few who make it bad and it copies over to those who would otherwise not care one way or the other.
I choose to blend because all women that go grocery or clothes shopping just put on any ole thing. They just blend in. Thats what we trans women want. Just to live in a normal world with a normal life. I want normal “or as close to normal” friends and life as possible. I want to find a good man and have a good life. Thats why I want to just blend in.
I already don’t pass publicly, despite being full time, so I figure “why bother?” I think Popeye said it best when he eloquently said “I yam what I yam, and that’s all that I yam.”
the problem is if we stand out, everyone is going to make a judgement because we are “standing out”. i am fine with just fitting in and not making a scene over what i am wearing etc. works fine for me because i am quiet and the the guys are the ones who start the conversation 🙂