Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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When I mean blend in, I mean appear as feminine as I can. Last thing I want is looking like a man dressed as a woman. And there’s nothing wrong standing out as a beautiful woman, when you make eyes turning on you in admiration.
A picture of me.
If I could actually get to the point of being comfortable enough with me looks and get the guts to go out in public I would be thrilled. My main goal has always been to be passable. I have so many body issues such as binge and purge and a couple of others. My therapist says I am focusing too much on passing and to just be myself and be happy. Let’s face it, if I could do that then I wouldn’t be seeing a therapist, psychiatrist and psychologist. We all have our stories which helped us become who we are so all I can say is that I wish everyone a long and happy/healthy life with the love that you each deserve. Be well and stay safe.
Lexi
I love the feeling a dress, skirt, frills and etc gives me as I go out. I want to express myself for who I am and so I am not afraid to do so!
I couldn’t give a single answer. I like to more or less blend in, but also want my appearance to be admired. That usually makes me stand out And, I might stop at the grocery store going home from a dressy event. No blending in there! At my age, my male features could just as well be on an old woman, so I get ma’amed fairluy frequently. That’s good enuf for me.
Blend in, of course. That’s the ultimate goal of transcention, after all. We choose to blend in as females, not as males. And we want to be treated as females. Not males. Genuine reaction from other people can be obtained only when they are unable to find faults, that would present you as “not female”. Such approach can be treated as “Uncanny Valley” of transcention to womanhood. The further away you are from your starting point (t.i. male base) and the closer you are to end point (t.i. female upgrade), the harder it becomes to recognize the base. And, once we climb out of Uncanny Valley and become unrecognizable, then we will successfully achieve our goal.
Though, furthermore, such result will come out automatically upon our striving to become more than we are now. It is a sort of greed, that drives us. Greed, that wants more than we are given. To cherish ourselves more. And to share our the joy of our victory with others.
Moreover, can you imagine how much effort a person needs to put just to approach close resemblance to a female? What about those, who are indistinguishable? Are all their efforts in vain? Isn’t such way of thinking the same like treating gender dysphoria as “just a phase”?
Ultimately, my final verdict is BLEND IN. We, the people, who put tremendous effort to reach our dream, deserve at least that much.
It has always been my goal to be seen as an attractive woman…but not really to stand out. If I can blend in with the people around me and just be seen and interact as any other woman might, that is the ideal situation for me. 🙂
12 Months ago I was in hospital for a serious injury. As a result of this injury I underwent a total penectomy. Since then I have had a boost of confidence regarding the way I present myself to my friends and in public. I had officially had my name changed from Darren to Karen. The way I dress is somewhat conservative yet my fashion sense is that of a 20’year old woman. Blending in for me is a important thing for me when out in public. I’ve always been told by the people who know me that I have great legs for a 57yr old so why not flaunt them. My only concerns when presenting as a female are wrinkles on my face after wearing make-up for hours on end and trying to maintain a suitable female voice for long periods of time.