Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I somewhat want to blend, but also stand out. I seem to wear more makeup and am more dressed up than most cis women, when I go out to dinner in Trisha mode.
If there were a third option called “it depends” that would have by choice.
Just like any woman, it depends on my feelings and the circumstances. There are times when blending in fits the moment and times when standing out feels right. Since getting my breast work done several years ago its not as easy to blend in (or hide) any more so I might as well chose to stand out!
I live in a small town where a lot of people dont know what a crossdresser is. I have been dressing up since I was ten on and off. My wife of 40 years dressed me up one time just a wig and a little make up.It was a big turn on. She died of cancer not long ago. I love to dress up in my home. It would be scary to venture out. Im sorry for rambling on. I love to put on a pretty dress and heels cant do very well with makeup I have a hair fetish Please any tips would be a big help
I am not afraid to step out as a woman , not fear of not “passing .
I always try to “blend in” as a woman , I wear cute outfits, style my hair, apply makeup and every one notices me even if I want attract as little attention as possible because they know that I am a crossdresser .
any way I am happy stepping out .
please Lucille and you my friends , give you opinion about my words .
Hi Carla,
First, I do have to say, you’re quite stunning and would be noticeable anywhere. Even though you try to blend in, you dress and present yourself as a “woman”. I’m sure you’ve noticed, surprisingly, it appears that most women do not do the same. When we go out we present ourselves as we believe a woman should look like, which in today’s world isn’t necessarily so. Flip flops, yoga pants, hair looking like they just got out of bed, nails not done, and there we are, looking more like a woman than most women do, and people do notice. I can’t even recall how many time I’ve been told by men that women today just don’t know how to look like women. Many I’ve met can’t even walk in high heels any more. Walk down a store aisle with your stilettos clicking on the hard surface and you see the men turn or come around the aisle to look. Not so when they hear something that sounds like a duck walking down the aisle. We’re a special breed, and I’m finding that as we keep presenting ourselves as “women, (not drag queens) we’re becoming more and more accepted within the community.
Hugs,
Jennifer
I am a 78 year old trans woman. I only want to blend in and be accepted as a normal woman. I certainly do not want to stand out! I try in my daily routines to just look and blend in as any woman would. I am pretty small, 5’6” and 150 pounds. I am always treated as a woman when I am out. Here I am at a local mall at Christmas time and had a lady friend of mine take my photo! What do you think? Hugs, Suzy
As a 78-year-old public crossdresser, I say you look really good. Do you find that your voice gives you away or have you learned to talk like a lady?
I’d rather blend in because sometimes we draw attention whether we want it or not. Sometimes unwanted attention can be irritating. If I’m out in public, it’s because I have things to do. I’m not there to be a spectacle or to impress anyone.
I have been a closeted crossdresser all my adult life. Finally at my age (78) I have come out. I have been dressing in public for almost two years. I am out to family and a few friends. I like to be noticed and looked at. I pass at a distance. I pass/not pass closeup. Once I speak I donot pass. Positive looks or comments are enjoyed, Negative comments can be enjoyed also, if I have a comeback. I live in a very liberal city and that helps a lot.
It’s a funny double-think for me. I am now 100% out, and I’m proud to be a transgender woman and I don’t care who knows it.
At the same time, I want to be naturally perceived as a woman, and I dress and comport myself to that part; according to what feels right an natural for me, which is a fairly traditional (though also somewhat flamboyant) femme presentation: skirts and dresses, flowy tops, makeup, and a fair bit of bling.
I don’t go particularly out of my way to pass, per se, yet I do seem to enjoy some level of “passing privilege”. I rarely warrant a second glance in public most of the time, and I get a fair amount of positive feedback on my appearance from cis (presumably) woman I encounter, which is very validating.