It’s not easy being a crossdresser or transgender woman. When you add envy and comparison to the mix, it can make the journey even tougher.
The truth is, it’s all too common to fall into the comparison trap – whether it’s measuring up to cisgender women or looking at those girls who are further along in their MTF transitions.
Feeling jealous or envious every now and then is perfectly normal. But it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Plus, it can hinder your progress towards your own goals.
So, how can you manage these emotions? In this blog post on male to female tips, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you conquer envy and comparison.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
Lucille,
Awesome advice for everyone, not just us girls! Sometimes I do envy some of the women that I know, but in a good way.
We are all unique individuals and each beautiful in our own way, so we should learn to embrace and love ourselves for who we are!
Love your blogs, you offer up great advice and insight that really has helped me become the woman I am today and continue to grow and improve myself!
Love Ya,
Kristin
Great advice – and applicable to so many other parts of life, aside from the CD/TS/TG world.
Since I don’t live full-time feminine, I constantly look and envy other women’s looks and everything they have. I wish I could just get and keep a beautiful set of nails all the time but I can’t. When I do have the chance to express my femininity, I am on the top of the world. I just need more time for me.
I wish I could be like Sofia Vergara. But so far I am not. Until I get there , i just try to be a better person every day. Whoever doesn’t like that doesn’t belong to my friends circle…
Envious, at times, but not in a bad way, more in a “Gee, I wish I looked that good” In fact I’ve posted comments to that affect, when I see someone pulling it off so well and comfortable in going out dressed. I aspire to be that confident and brave, but I have made strides recently. Partially because of my age (67) I’ve been xdressing since I was 8 years old, and I’m tired of hiding. I don’t think I’ll ever transition, but am comfy xdressing and being as much of a Woman as I can project. Of course, like many I fought this part of my persona and struggled with the guilt, or the fear of being found out, but getting past that has a freeing effect. I stopped trying to analyze it, and just went with the flow.
I think nowadays when you see some ‘real women’ and how masculine that some of them look just put in your best outfit and look in the mirror and i bet i know who most guys would go for x
I gave up comparing myself to other genetic women years ago, when I finally realized that there are genetic women of all shapes and sizes, looks and fashions (from well-dressed to shabbily dressed), and that I could just fit in and look like one of them whatever my looks. Therefore, I could go out and about as Caroline and be myself and fit in as just another woman amidst the 1000s of other diverse women. I am no longer concerned about what people think, because most other people don’t look long enough to realize I’m not a genetic woman as they pass me on the street and even if they did notice it doesn’t matter to them.
Hi girls:
I have read quite a few articles from other crossdressers concerning how other people react when they are found out-spouse, family, friends, employers and just people in general. What I believe the common denominator is that for all purposes we live in a MACHO dominated society where the male is king and the female is subservient. Some of this stereotype is vanishing but much of it persists much to our chagrin. For instance, if a woman emulates a man she is taking a step up in her demeanor but let a man cross-dress as a female not only is he taking a step down in his existence, but becomes a significant threat to the whole male macho image which reflects on every other male and submits them to scorn, ridicule, and scrutiny by society resulting in instantaneous condemnation. This may seem a rather harsh conclusion but I believe is the main underlying recipe for the misunderstanding of what we really are.
Love, Vikki
If you already go out with that mindset nothing can help you.
If you care about reactions too much and let them rule your life it’s your fault and not that of macho men. Blaming everything on your sworn enemy the male macho will never bring you forward in life. That way you’re just playing the victim card.
I couldn’t agree more, having come out recently to my family, was a disaster, with the exception of my Sister, she took it in stride. My Son, daughter and cousin had a real problem with it. My Wife has know for years, I never lied to her about it. But sometimes staying in the closet may be the better choice. At this age, 67 I said the *** with it and decided to come out. Now it’s their problem to deal with, not mine. I know that sounds selfish, but understand these are adults and my influence is minimal in their lives.