It’s not easy being a crossdresser or transgender woman. When you add envy and comparison to the mix, it can make the journey even tougher.
The truth is, it’s all too common to fall into the comparison trap – whether it’s measuring up to cisgender women or looking at those girls who are further along in their MTF transitions.
Feeling jealous or envious every now and then is perfectly normal. But it doesn’t exactly feel great, does it? Plus, it can hinder your progress towards your own goals.
So, how can you manage these emotions? In this blog post on male to female tips, I’ll share 5 strategies to help you conquer envy and comparison.
1. Recognize That You Don’t See the Whole Picture
It’s easy to feel inadequate when scrolling through seemingly flawless Instagram photos. Social media can be a breeding ground for envy, but remember these two important things:
- Most people present an idealized version of themselves online. Those filtered photos may not accurately reflect their true appearance.
- You have no insight into what’s happening behind the scenes. Even those with seemingly perfect lives have their own issues and insecurities.
Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself scrolling through social media!
2. Let Envy Inspire You
Envy is a sign that someone has something you want for yourself, and that’s not a bad thing. Instead of letting envy make you feel down, use it as a source of inspiration.
Set achievable goals and direct your energy toward reaching them. Taking positive action feels incredible, and it can be a powerful way to turn envy into motivation.
3. Get Out and Live Your Life
If you find yourself spending too much time on social media or passively observing others, it can easily lead to negative thought patterns.
Simply put, you need to spend less time in your own head and more time enjoying your fabulous life!
When you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s less room for obsessive comparison.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity
Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls?
Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful.
I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets, such as Meetup groups, support groups, or online communities that uplift your spirits.
5. Appreciate Yourself
Remember this: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” To overcome envy, shift the focus back to what makes you special, unique, and beautiful.
There’s no finite supply of beauty or success in the world, so keep reminding yourself of your strengths and attributes.
Is this advice clichéd? Perhaps, but it works!
How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?
Feeling envious or making comparisons is normal, but the sooner you shift the focus back to your own life and goals, the better.
Because, girlfriend, you are amazing just the way you are!
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever struggled with comparison or envy? If so, how did you deal with it? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
i wanted to become fem from child and whish i had accepted her earlier always wanting to dress and play with dolls do girly things,at first i was bullied to dress as youth,by older boys and hated it a first then became excited and liked being caught a forced they thought to dress up and dance and lap sit etc,then my older sisters found out and made point of,making me do there house chores and jobs at weekends when parents where out dressed by them,and they kept leaving clothes etc and underwear in my cuboards and draws for mum to find,i just got used to it and it was so hard leaving school and siters moving out to carry on and forget those times,i tried put it down to youth and carried on
trying to resist dressing up urges and fighting to ignore lusts girly feelings tried to settle a few times with girls,and was easy not to abuse use there clothes as seemed an insult
then the last girl was bi gal.liked role play and games in private at first i didnt want to but eventually gave in and all those feelings and longings came back,she brought shoes clothes all sortsfor me to try usemi pretended to hate it and couldnt wait i think she was pushing me and i was in heaven iside but on outside moody,then at xmas she let slip to her bi croud what we had done,so i got pesterd by her girlfriend pals and guys to go out to clubs bars dressed up fem,igot a few drinks and they picked outfit and dressed me and off we went to bi or gay bars her and pals went to,the difference of the feel of garments textures tastes the breeze and just being out i was amazed ,as i got more mellow after drinks brought and offerd i relaxed and became more girly in role and the compliments attentions of others left me so happy,making me want attention and play up flirt then some guys brought me drinks and had a few advances and it was perfect getting interest and being wanted or hit on
I’m sort of jealous of thirds that are extremely passable but i’ve worked on my look and have started to feel more and more comfortable in my own skin.
You look fantastic
May I ask
How long did it take for you to get this fantastic look
I’m into my feminine life and only hope that I can someday look half as good as you do
Thank you again!
Thank you for such a nice conpliment! I’ve been working on my look for a while…..I always feel like I have room for improvement though. I just want to look my best.
I just saw this site. It is wonderful to know that I am not the only girl around who feels jealous of ‘real’ girls!
I just saw my neighbourhood 2 tall girls often with top knots having bangs around & sometime with high ponytail. I can’t control my self to chit chat with them,observing movements,style.I really want to be like them.
Ya got me – I confess to being envious. I envy those natural women who have what I never will. It’s not a destructive feeling, just wistful. sometimes I envy an outfit I will not ever be likely to wear. Age is a factor there, as well as my pudgy shape, and my height which says “No” to really classy super high heels, in most places. I’m finally acknowledging that I should dress my age in more and more situations. Maybe maturity is finally possible…
Hi. I just ran across this, forgot I posted it. An additional note: ciswomen can feel envious, too, everybody does, about some things. I’ve had some say they were even envious about some aspects of myself. So, it’s natural, we should just accept it. Use it for what benefit we can get from it.
I have to add, too: still not consistently dressing my age, and loving it!
Hi all,
You know, this just hasn’t ever really been an issue with me. Sure, sometimes you see another gal who looks good and you say to yourself, ‘wow, wish I could pull that off,’ but that momentary thought is the extent of it with me. I immediately then just start appreciating this gal who caught my attention in her own right without it having to reflect back on me. Lucille, I think you offer very sound and constructive advice for my sisters out there who this is more of an issue to. I appreciate you being there for us. Best to all! Randa
I have always been jealous of girls, there pretty dresses there shiney nails there beautiful hair for the life of me i can understand why i am in this male body when i should be a female a gorgous beautiful and pretty female i don’t understand i feel every bit a female i have to hide inside myself going crazy thank god my wife lets me be micaylla in the house or else i wouldn’t know what i would do
Frustrated in ma
This advice is good all women(Cis and Trans) to be the best of who they are not what is said or marketed to.
OMG Lucille what a fantastic and pertinent thread. I spend my entire life looking at and comparing myself to girls and wishing I was like them and have what they have and look the way they do. I love the fact you have raised this issue and offered us ways to get out of it.
A wonderful and uplifting posting.
Claire xx