“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I agree very strongly with the part about being yourself. Trying to pass as anything else will doom you to failure. I developed the attitude of “To hell with everyone else, I don’t really care what other think, I am just going to be me!” They people I run into that think I am a male dressed in female clothes (extremely rare) think I have guts to do what I damn well want to. I am happier and am having more fun than I ever thought I could.
Passing is of the utmost importance. Whatever the philosophical debates about “Just being yourself and not caring what anyone thinks” is all well and fine and very noble. However the harsh reality seems to me that if you look a woman you will be treated as one but if you look a man in drag then thats how you will be treated. I am not saying thats the way it should be. I am just saying thats the way it is.
Believing in myself has helped me to be confident and to pass out in public. I have never had any problems (knock wood) and I hope it will remain that way. It is a wonderful life experience.
I am not sure that I could pass but I don’t worry about that so much now that I go out in public dressed on a regular basis. Initially I was concerned that I would be discovered and ridiculed or whatever. What I discovered is that no one really paid much attention to me. They didn’t seem to care that I was in the same gas station, restaurant or grocery store. No snickering, no finger pointing; none of that has ever occurred. Should I give up trying to pass as a woman? NEVER.
Lucille,
I used to think you were too hung up on passing. I thought “well, that is the way she makes a living”. I am very glad to see your integrity and warmth shine through on this one.
While passing remains so important for those who want to be a woman on the outside to match the woman inside, and that is as it should be, it is not as important or practical for many of us. It is a goal that can actually hurt us in other ways. I spent years in the closet afraid of going out. Somehow I was waiting for the day I would “pass”.
I now go everywhere and have fun. You do a good thing by helping us to look better and feel more confident and these are key. When I step out there I do not see myself as a CD. I think and feel as a woman, regardless of what others may see me as.
While I agree that blending in certain circumstances is safer, I do not think it is all it is made out to be either. There are so many rules placed on us, many of them by ourselves…Do not wear skirts shorter than this or do not wear heels taller than that, etc. I try to dress in good taste, but the oceans will dry up before I go to the mall in baggy jeans and a t-shirt and tennis shoes just to “blend in”.
Just be as nice as you can and smile when you go out and look your best and things will work out fine. I do not pass, but I go to my doctor and my banker and my mechanic and the hairdresser with little old ladies there and just about everywhere dressed and it is amazing that sometimes it can actually be a lot of fun and AMAZING when people know who and what you are and accept you as such!
Dear Lucille when I dress in fem I always try my best to pass as a woman in my earlier days I was nervous because I didnt feel it was good enough. But as I started going out I discovered that many people were amazed when I told them that I was a really a guy some wouldnt believe it now days I dress up and feel comfortable with who I am. I would also thank you for the many tips which helps me even further to perfect my art.signed Danielle(David) PS ive learned that if you believe your a woman thats a major step
I have just started cross dressing and I am new to all of this.Being a beginer in this all I can say is that being able to pass as a genitic woman would be great but not always possible to achieve. I think it is crucial to remember to just be who you are and love who you are. I wish that I could pass as a genitic woman but I realize to that as long as I stay true to who I am and what I want to be that’s all that matters.
though i hv started to wear female inners and ladeis jeans and pant in office too but it is very difficult to me to go out as complete female in general public.
though i m trying to giveup my shyness. and i want to live full time female.