“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But it is really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Blending in is very important. If you don’t blend, you won’t pass. In some areas of our lives, especially our jobs (if we’re living as a woman 100% of the time), it can make our lives miserable if we do not blend in.
I’ve had some jobs where it did not matter what you looked like, how you acted or if you were the Jolly Green Giant, and I’ve had jobs where, as a woman, you have to be extremely diligent, aware of your surroundings and cautious at the same time. I just happen to work in the trucking industry where it is highly mail dominant.
You really need to be able to blend in this type of environment.
Basically said, you need to find environments where you do not stand out like a sore thumb, so to speak. Unfortunately, I do not blend in well, but I pass very well. My issue is that I pass 100% as an attractive woman. I have to be extremely vigilant in my personal safety.
Be the chameleon, blend to your environment. You are not going to wear 6″ heels and play softball, right? Well, guess it would depend on the softball game! LOL Look at women around you in your everyday life. Most are just Plain Jane’s who throw on a pair of jeans, a nice top, tennis shoes and their hair in a pony-tail, and then just head down to the store.
Something to keep in mind.
I like the others know I will not pass.But I do dress my best and act as a lady, And most people act as though its normal , and yes they give me a second look,But I take it as a complement that I get a second look for they must of liked want they saw the frist time. Yes it helps to keep your head up and act as you belong here to.
I am out at least once a week,If they stare at me I stare back and say Hi! And they simle(:
Right! I started to pass, when I stopped to think “Do I, or do I not pass.” It was long ago. Well, now I’ve been living as a woman full time over 18 years and I sometimes give that advice to younger Estonian T-girls. However – in Estonia ‘passing’ is very important, because this country here is not very tolerant. Most people here have still that old kind of “black-and-white” world-view. So, my advice has been very similar to your’s: don’t ‘overdress’, watch what and how other girls wear, and don’t think so much about ‘passing’. Let the girl inside of you take the lead.
Labas Vakaras! I’m a very glad to meet in this beautiful site a girl from Baltic country. I’ve never forgot Haapsalu and The Vision of White Lady.And Tallin too including Vanna Tallin.And of course Vyru Valga, Oh so strong alcohol drug! I live in the Green Zone of Moscow, but my roots from Trakai -the ancient capital of Lithuania(Lietuvos). I began very active and intensive transition from December last year. Now I have the first results without using HRT ^ increasing breasts ( from 84 cm to 87 cm), reducing waist (from 74 cm to 70 cm),increasing hips (from 85cm to 90 cm)/And fantastic.I was cursed by EMG Curse Hormone Change audio hypnosis. EMG is the most powerful wizard in the world and the founder of warpmymind.com. I never believed in the power of hypnosis before, but there was a fact. Now without any estrogens HRT my hormone balance is changed to 40% in favor of estrogens. Now I’m growing up the strong feminine hair.
I would like to offer you let’s be girlfriends. Register in pinkessense as Kathe Perez adviced me. It’s easier to communicate there and it’s very confident talk site. With the help of Kathe now I have a strong real feminine voice. Maybe nonperfect like genetic born women but high, wide dynamic range, feminine fluency and various melodic intonation as female dictors on TV. I am charmed now by my new feminine voice. Write me to e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and I give you access to my youtube videos.AS mix of lietuvos, Polska and Russian Malgiote (Liet/girl)I dare to post one of my pic in swimsuit that was absolutely impossible a year ago/Thanks to Lucille who drastically changed me in my 41.
From Green Zone of Moscow with Love
Being able to fully pass is certainly a goal and would be great. But I agree, blending in works wonders. I have gone out often dressed to the degree appropriate for where I went and trust me any close look and I am busted. Most often, no one notices. The rest of the time, I just ignore the looks or comments to avoid drawing even more attention. I am a firm believer in just blend in.
Hi Lucille, I think it is very important to papass as women …..that’s how I want other to see me as a real women …..not trans women….because I will hate if someone notices that I still look like a man ……I don’t worry about my height or feet…I just blend in better with the tall genetc women…so no one should worry about there height or feet……I guess in just confident about my self……
This is a great question! I am living full time now for 2 years. At first it bothered me greatly that my voice and how I carried myself might be blaringly evident in public. I now have come to know that very few people notice or even become aware ( unless of course I didn’t do my part in being the best I can be)and have suffered no consiquences at all in the 2 years I have been publicly active. The longer I am out there the more confidence in myself I aquire and thusly the better I feel and letting my true feminine self express more deeply! For the few who might question or catch on, I say, who cares, I’m having fun and thats all that matters!
thaks for your helping hand for people of who are in desire of trans women tha Q LUCILLLE
I work hard on passing and looking my best!! That doesn’t always mean dress to the 9s, but giving that womanly look as much as possible.