“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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Oh the days I have, a little back ground first. Age 38, born male but originally identified as female, raised as a male. Now do to my age some of you may guess that and be right about being from a time of a lot less tolerance. Boys acted, dressed and looked as boys. To wear an earring was to be homosexual. (Some kind of code thing too, I Left was pirate and right was gay or vice versa) I am a big person, not huge (I could probably pass as Jennifer (She Hulk) I would need to be a body builder and paint myself green though. I stand at 5’10 (177.5 cm) and weigh in at 245 lbs (111.13 kg) with a chest of 46″ (Note chest not boobs, like under them) then there are my shoulders which are like really broad. Now that the biology and history lessons are over. Down to business. Am I seen as a woman or accepted as one as they say. Sometimes. I wore a skirt and pigtails when I went out with my little sister, which depending on how you tie your hair can look clean or like you are four. I leave to your imaginations which you think I do. I got asked at the library if I was my sisters dad, wow really? No seriously is that a new age dad look pigtails and skirts (By the way, to make imagination easier, think Japanese school girl) Now on the same token I have been called miss while wearing baggy jeans and a tee, and hair tied in a basic ponytail. I have no mammary glands worth mentioning (Do not get me started on bras and sizing, been list as everything from a 44 C to 48 A, plus I have tubular boobs, again seriously google that)
My goal is be able to go out femm (and pass) when my “mood” is femm.
Part of what stops me is (to be honest) fear.
I guess the “gay” tag is what scares me. (yet I consider myself “gay” (Lesbian) only when “dressed” as I am only interested in women (Dressed or drab)
I got “ma’am”ed at the McDonalds drive thru today in DRAB!
How awesome!
When I was a teenager I was mistaken for a girl without even trying. I had long curly hair, no facial hair, and my voice didn’t drop until I was 15 or 16. I miss those days. I loved it.
I tried very hard to pass for years. Eventually I gave up and to my surprise I found I was passing much better than I ever thought possible. I think this proves (to me at least) that simply being yourself is half the battle. That’s not to say I pass in all situations – I don’t – but somehow even people that read me avoid addressing me with the ‘S’ word. I often say now ‘gender change became possible for me when I accepted that it was impossible’!
I have been a post op ts for 10 years. There are days when I pass, there are days when I don’t. I weigh 65kg and am 5ft 7 but even the best looking ts unfortunately unless they transition as a child can be read as people become more aware of transexualism.
If people want to call me a tranny it’s offensive but I ignore it. I am who I am and am not that bad compared to others either genetic women or compared to transsexuals.
Two fingers the V sign is the best method. Stop worrying and live your life. If they don’t like you that’s their loss not yours.
I started my transition at 30yo. I only look about 19yo at most. You can be passable
as a trans girl or women at 30yo if you have the right genetics. For example my estrogen
levels before i started were already nearing range of an average girl. My body has been kept
in shape, i diet and excercise and take care of my skin, i take a multivitamin and my hair,
face and legs and hips were gentically inherited from my mom. So yes it is possible but very
very rare. I am extremely lucky. Not everyone has this advantage.
Hi,
as I wear this little black dress, a young woman said to me: “You are beautiful”. I was very proud.
But they were times, young girls on the street cries: “You are a man”. It was a terrible moment.
Now, I am a women. At work I am respected after a few month. It was not easy and I am no hero. But there was no alternative for me.
Anouk
Anouk, you were lucky you were half-way there.
You look pretty good.
Hi honey, you look fab. Haven’t dressed in a while but so miss being Ellie wish I had the guts to come out. Ellie. X
I will never give up my feminine side…xxxx
Hi Deana, you are so right, you should nevervgive up, you do look very feminine and beautiful…take care..love Michelle
I’ve somehow crossed an invisible line from being comfortable as an openly trangendered person, to being comfortable as an openly transgendered woman.
In recent months, people are generally regarding me as a woman though I am not really trying to ‘pass’ as a woman: I’m trying, with greater fidelity and integrity, to pass as myself, who is a woman. It’s an inside-out thing. I wish to be beautiful and graceful and congruent, and I want my innerself to be beautiful and gracious, and I want the ‘shadow’ of this inner self to be manifested externally in my words and the way I treat others and myself, and also in my appearance, mannerisms, voice and graceful movement. I understand feminine and masculine cues, and apply feminine cues because I am a feminine person. BUT, I will not apply such cues beyond the point where I feel that I am no longer aesthetically pleasing. I would rather be true to myself, authentic, than to pile-on feminine cues simply because I can…
By not ‘trying’ to look like I think a woman is supposed to look, but following my feminine sense, I’m sure that there are more perfect looking women, transwomen, than me, but none could hope to pass as perfectly ‘Brett.’ This frees me in ways I can’t adequately express, and I have a wonderful un-self-consciousness, and though I *do* struggle with my gender dysphoria, paradoxically, people see me as comfortable in my skin. I am *so blessed*!!!