“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
Loading ...
great article
you give practical advice that i think we should all try to follow
each of us is a different personality and we should accept the realities of life
passable is the ultimate goal however in this world of ours being close should be a great feeling
WHAT IS PASSIBLE? really? isn’t about how we see ourselves, if you look bad people will notice, if you do a good job with confidence people normally accept you and isnt that a pass?
It is not always possible for me to be a woman,but when I do get a break I try to give a hundred percent.because then my female side just want to brake out and be free and I love every moment of it.
Thanks Lucille
Love Cornelis
my wife has finally allowed me to dress on the weekends but only as her housemaid with chores to be done,it’s only a small step forward but i’m happy with it.
I wholeheartedly agree with the thought about blending rather than passing. At 6 feet 2 inches tall it is virtually impossible to walk anywhere without being noticed.
Over the years, I have learned to be confident and comfortable with who I am. My cisgender friends have no issues going anywhere with me and we only get noticed as a group of attractive ladies enjoying ourselves.
It was and is never about passing. It is all about living your life as you wish and loving every minute.
Samantha
Yea Samantha that’s me, i started transition in my sixties and realized there isn’t enough time in my world completely become passable. I want a happy life, and i except not everyone has to be happy with my choices they just have to except the it is my choice, not theirs.
I would love to pass but living in a small Texas town and not having makeup skills makes it difficult
Unlike Sandra I have met with more negative experiences than positive ones whenever I have screwed up enough courage to venture out in public.
Being able to pass would be my goal not only to avoid uncomfortable experiences but also from a personal standpoint I want to look and feel and act as feminine as possible. Even with all the good advice and encouragement from Lucille and others there are still those unfortunates like me who despite our best efforts and intentions cannot come close to passing.
For those reasons I would gladly accept cosmetic surgeries to help define my appearance to be more feminine.
My own self esteem is pretty decent but harsh glances and rude comments still sting; being able to pass would deflect most of that negative behavior from others. Besides, what woman doesn’t want to look their best?
For me, it is not important – I am being feminized, but I am not trying to impress anyone. My breasts are now a C Cup and growing. I have thankfully lost function of my male organ, so things ‘are’ happening. Passing? Too old to begin, but I do enjoy reading the prose on this site.
Sounds like we are in the same boat. To be totally passable would be great & a wonderful dream. But reality is, I can’t afford it & too late to start. I attend church and veriaty of events. I pass to some that never really paided no attention to weither I was or not. Others just accept me as I am. But I guess the whole church knows by now since I gave a presentation about being transgender. I’m still amazed at how many people have still never herd of trans people. But it was received well. I’ve noticed that if I’m with other females I’m less to be noticed than if I’m by myself.
But I will go on as I am & be thankful for what I can be & do. I envy your C cups. I’m at a B but still gaining on it.
Live & be well… Debbie
Thanks Debbie – after reading your note, I should add – I do NOT try and hide anything, but I also do not flaunt anything. When I take my walks if I do not have my bra on, things really bounce and I happen to ‘like’ it!! Regardless, thanks for the response.
Hi Lucille
my goal is to be a classy ,elegant and well mannered woman and 100% passable, and your advices help me a lot to become the woman I am today , thanks for everything you do for the community.
Much love XO
Joanna