“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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Dear Ms. Lucille,
Passing as woman to me is dress, deportment, for us “dudes” or “dudettes” Shaving your face clean & divested of hair, then applying foundation & foundation powder. I keep my legs, underarms clean shaven. I have my friend Lisa who checked out my wardrobe inc. shoes, dresses, slacks & my pantyhose & nylon collection she said… man Rob you have a good collection. The photo’s should I attempt to try “glam photo” place & most importantly one that won’t reject me as a Freak or weirdo? Any help I live in Delaware & close to Philadelphia places that will do Glamour shots? Thanks Lucille & I love you & your staff for all you do to help. PS I just turned the Big 60 so it too late for Robin Jennifer to “fly” song from 70’s Fly Robin Fly by Silver Convention”. Ha Ha. Love you Lucille & all my LadyBoy friends.
Robin
Fashion is a matter of taste balanced by what you have to work with body wise
annie
Very good article. Passing used to be so important to me but as the years pass, it’s become more about me being accepted as myself, and more importantly, BY myself (I’m my own worst critic). I love how you use the “blend”. I believe that “passing” should be replaced with “blending” because it changes the entire dynamic of how we present ourselves and how we perceive ourselves in the eyes of others.
To be honest, it’s hard to tell if you pass or not. where i live that not a issue. Since i have gone to 24hr mode its just a matter of degree of how you want to present yourself. like most other girls it’s a matter of mood, whom your going to see and where your going determining what you look like.Being trans, sometimes dictates looking trans, it’s how you meet the trans people, other times I’m Annie the woman and want to look good, and care about passing. Loosing your shame goes a long way to passing. IF you dont need to hide yourself you build this confidence to where it doesnt matter, then it gets really hard not to pass.
Annie
I know that every time I go out I look like an older woman. I saw my women’s health doctor at the VA today and she told me I look like a older woman in every aspect. I was told also that I have the estrogen level of a young lady age 25. I can say even while I speak people can not tell the difference. I can safely say that I pass very easy now as I have had 5 or so men hit on me while at the VA clinic and when you are very close to these people and they can not tell I have done a very good job.
I can pass in certain situations, but not in others. But, I can always be “presentable” as a woman and people treat me as such because I look the part as much as possible. So, I try to be presentable as female rather than passable as female!
pedicures/ nail polish/ panties/ bras/ heels /dresses / no one has to know but if it makes you feel girly and your situation is tough to pass for me feeling good in my own skin is all that matters
After two years of living almost full time, I am definitely blend in. However I still feel frustrated when I am caught in the middle. One day I was in a bar waving a twenty-dollar bill to the bartender to get a drink, this gentleman saw and he opened a runway for me to get to the bar. I smiled a him then when the bartender attended me and I order my drink, this gentleman changed his face to totally disappointment. Wasn’t easy for me and like that I have had several other occasions but that one was the one that hurt me the most because that man was so cute… 🙁
passing as a women I am sure is the goal for everyone our environment has allot to do with me our jobs- relationships -family not wanting to let it out that you want to be a women personal experience / married / I like getting pedicures my wife knows of my feelings totally against it so we go to her person she does my pedicure asked to have them painted pink both my wife and sonya freaked I was asked if I was gay well it did not happen was told wait till next time just one example it was of made me feel great