“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I have always felt that people see what you project. Always be the woman you want to be and people will see you accordingly. It’s a state of mind as much as it is clothes and makeup. I personally only wear women’s clothes and am just as happy in jeans and a tee shirt with no makeup as I am fully made up. Your free to wear earrings, carry a ladies wallet or purse without persecution. Rock who you are and people follow!
I think we are coming to a point where other people don’t care if you pass as a female or not. Sure, for ourselves, we would like to be known as or blend in as a female. However, just because a trans woman may not pass or blend, does not mean they are not beautiful and attractive. There are many trans women that I can recognize in a crowd for some reason or another, but they can be very attractive. When meeting people, don’t we take note of their character, like if they were intelligent or funny or arrogant or interesting. Some people have a magnetic personality no matter what they look like, no matter if they pass or not. We don’t do ourselves justice if we judge ourselves that way.
Morgan,
My name is Irene and I have been catching up on Femme Secrets articles and posts. I love reading yours. They are so positive. I am an older crossdresser. Recently my female desires has come alive again. I always want to look into the mirror and see a beautiful woman. Anyway you look great and I am very happy for you in your transition. I think you are doing great.
Love, Irene
Thank you so much, Irene! That’s very kind of you to say!
You are wise beyond your years, Morgan. lol. If I might be allowed to throw in my two cents. Not only are you beautiful….but I can see from the photo that you have a very kind face.
I try to be the best human being possible. Integrity and loyalty are extremely important values to me. It’s a complicated world. Good luck.
Call me stupid, nieve or just not computer literate, but how on earth can someone not leave an e-mail address if all they want to do is take a chance and be contacted by someone who said something interesting and want to expand on the conversation, without going through the forum.
I know that we all live in uncertain times, but we have to take chances sometimes unless we are prepared to live out our lives in a sanitized plastic bubble. That said, Morgan; one of my emails is morningsidegirl2018@gmail.com.contact me if you like. I’ll take the chance that you’re not a psycho-terrorist with rabies. Lol
Thank you for your kind compliments, Laura. Nowadays gold and diamonds are more abundant than honesty and integrity. A person of good character is definitely more valuable.
I would love too but right now I just would love to be able to get started
I really want to pass, but I don’t know when and how it will be possible. My main problem is my voice. I am trying my best on the voice part.
I will never pass. Too old, too muscular, too masculine looking. Too many tattoos. I spent a lifetime trying to look as tough as possible. To match another “part” of me. Oddly enough, I am fine with my masculine side. I cultivated certain things and attributes. I was a survival mechanism. Also, I am entrenched in “this” life.
I’ve seen former US Navy SEALS… muscular, bearded, spec ops guys, who transitioned into beautiful women. However, they were in their 30’s at most.
If I were not married, I would be moving full bore to some kind of “stasis”. Some kind of balance. However, I am married and my wife has had enough grief in her life. I am not dropping this bomb on her. Not at this stage. So, I do what I can. It’s not that this is a “fetish”… it is much more than that. I want to be a pretty girl with a penis. I truly do. I used to think I was attracted to Trans-Girlz. It took decades for me to realize that I was attracted to them because I wanted to be like them. I know how hard it is to Transition. My Trans friends have made that plain and clear. I know how they fight, suffer and work hard to become what they want to be.
I want something in between.
The funny thing is that my body stopped making testosterone, on it’s own, about 10 years ago. I take replacement therapy. It would be so much easier for me to feminize myself more if I gave up my HRT. Even at 57, I could achieve something.
*** SIGH ***
Generally, people who interact with me are supportive, but I don’t know if they are being polite or they believe I pass for a cis woman. Trying to get a truthful answer is virtually impossible. So when I go out I try to “just not care” but it can be very stressful at times. How can I get a truthful answer? Does anyone have any idea.
Thanks
May I also point out that some cis-women appear very masculine. So I’m not sure of the standard in which you are making the comparison. If you say, trying to get a “truthful” answer is virtually impossible, then maybe you shouldn’t ask because no matter what they (or I) would reply you’ll take it as being polite or a lie. So with that said, I am content sounding like one of them.
Morgan, you sound like one of them. XOX
And let’s not judge ourselves by our appearance or possessions either. Let’s be that person of integrity and honesty.
I probably do. I believe we shouldn’t judge others by appearances or their possessions. A person with integrity and honesty are harder to find than gold or diamonds.
Maybe they like “You”. Who you are as a person. Some people are a joy to be around.
You tell me if I pass or not….
This is with no make up on
Pass with Flying Colors❤️
Well thank you
I wish I looked as beautiful as you. As far as I can see, you look like a cis woman. You are so very lucky. God bless.
Thank you
For me, passing is everything. I wouldn’t go out if I couldn’t pass. The greatest thrill is, going out in public or to the ladies toilet without being suspected of not being a woman. But I have done it for a long time. Experience is very important. I am close to 80 years old, but when I was about 75, a young man on the street attacked me verbally. For a moment, I thought, he had noticed my true gender. But his complaint was quite different. The contents of his complaint was about as follows: “I understand that a 20 year old dresses sexily. But I don’t understand how a 50 year old woman shows herself in such a sexy outfit!”
I was relieved and flattered, because he had estimated my age to be 50. My dress was above knee-length and showed a little cleavage. Otherwise I don’t think my outfit was so spectacular.