“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I’ve been waiting a long, long time for someone else to note this for discussion.
As a ts who has been full time for over 15 years, I pass most of the time. I notice, though, that passing matters less and less as I get older.
The way I put it with the younger transgendered I often counsel is this: “PASSING IS MOST IMPORTANT AT THE 7-11!” – and by that I mean that you ought to be able to grab your Big Gulp without harassment. Beyond that – the fact is the better I know you, the more likely it is that we’ve discussed my tg nature. That nature IS part of me – a part I will not deny. I mostly care about passing with those who DON’T know me.
To me being transgendered is about being authentically myself – not about being seen as anything other than myself.
I love me. It’s taken some time to get to that, though…
>>The happiest transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Agreed. This is completely true in my experience as well.
>>Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the transgendered woman that you are!
So true…
I’ve been living full-time since Dec ’09. Working on feminine posture, feminine movement, and using your tips on smiling have have been the greatest influence in “passing”. I was a bit shocked when I began to pass. Wow! What a rush!! Being seen as the woman I have always felt myself to be was a level of public acceptance that I never anticipated yet always hoped for.
Is passing important to me now? Yes, and no. Yesterday I knew I would be in-town all day. It was my first time to leave my home without any makeup or a padded bra. Why? Because I am a woman. Some people will see that and some will not, but their opinions don’t make me less of a woman. I was treated with kindness and respect everywhere I went including retail shopping. I did get a few extended looks, but I smiled at them and projected the love in my heart through my eyes and my self-confidence in my own womanhood.
Typically a “read” is felt somewhat like a kick in the stomach as a person seems to glare at you with an expression that says, “I know you are a fake.” No one looked at me with that somewhat hostile look. They simply went to back to whatever they were doing.
It was a highly gratifying day. It didn’t have the same drug like elation as a day of passing most everywhere I went, but it was deeply affirming and gratifying in a way that “passing” has never provided.
I will most likely have FFS and SRS, but I don’t need those procedures to live my life as the woman I am.
Blending in is huge. Women come in all shapes and sizes. Being able to blend in is passing to me. When I go to a restaurant or similarly public place without being “singled out” by people’s stares and I’m treated as a lady the entire time I’m there I consider that “passing.” When my interactions with a another person include a total acceptance as a genetic female I consider that “passing plus”.
I wish you all the best.
Amen, sister!!!!
it is so imporant to pass as a t girl you fill better !it’t like school and you got your report card c’s are b are better !!!! you might just meet the person of your dreams or date m/f ! i dress now on a reg base girls give me compliments if i feel really comfortable i ask the to go on a date !!!!! my fantasy have come true several times thanx linda you are a sweetie
love hug and kisses !thanks again
Hi Stepanie
You look great and sexy honey
xxx Mona
Dear Lucille
While I strive to be prettier than passable and to
have everyone believe I was born a genetic girl, whats most
important to me is that I get to have SRS plump breasts
and as close to an hour glass figure as possible,and complete hair removal,every thing else I can spend the rest of my life working on and be happier than I’ve ever been In almost 50 years. The only thing that bothers me when I’m in public is
that I live in a rural area where a lot of christians live and meth addicts live, and me the only tgirl who’s disability means
I cannot defend myself or run away,other than a possible threat of harm,I don’t care what other people think and since
breast are a little more than visible theirs no hiding for me now. Lynda
Passing ? ……..Very important to me.I feel that I am not doing real girls justice if I do not make the full effort.But really its all about the situation of were you are or are going to be.If Im going shopping for then the heels are out! I gess I try to to just what all the RGs do everyday(Yes I know it sounds like blending in)
I try to blend in. If I don’t it really does not matter. I am who I am and if someone has a problem with me it is their problem, not mine.
Hi
Sometimes I can go incredibly well. Some guys will be happy when they see my picture on a dating site
When they read my text that I am a transgender, they wonder if I mess around with them.
I started with Lucille feminine convert two years ago. I live like a woman 24 / 7 over the past year. I have changed names. new passports and driving licenses.
But still, I have a long road ahead to be like a real woman.
HI Lucille, I love my self as a woman and will not go back as a man. I feel I do ok out in public. Thanks Lucille, Love Rebecca Lee.