“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
Loading ...
Lucille I am a woman 24/7/365 and have been for over 2 years now. The VA is now paying for transition. When I go pay bill or go shopping almost everyone calls me mam pr miss. Once in a while some will look from a distance and say sir but when they get closer they correct themselves and say mam. They also apologize for calling me sir.
Charlene
I am a Vietnam vet. I went to the VA in the mid ’80’s but they diagnosed me with “PTSD” and put me in a substance abuse program. Please let know of the VA programs you know of that might be able to help me with my transition.
Thank you
Bobbie
You look fabulous Rachael!!
I have to say I really like your blog and e-mails you send. I have not tried to pass out in public as a woman, guess I know alot of important people and still afraid of being recognized. My girlfriend does get into the thought and and does want to help. Hope to eventually get the flat to fem book you sell and hopefully I will eventually get out in public. Keep up the good work you do I really love the info.
I PASS 90%OF THE TIME AT WORK AND AT HOME , I LIVE 24/7 AS A WOMEN AND NO SURGERY ON MY FACE OR BODY, ITS MY VOICE THAT GIVES ME AWAY PUT HAVING SPEECH THERAPY TO SORT THAT OUT
For myself it is hugely important to pass as much as possible cause I live in a small town(16000 population). Also I feel very comfortable as myself as a woman and not when I am socially forced to be something else. I get depressed and sad when I’m thinking of me being poor all the time, I can’t help myself out of this situation even if I like to do so under another circumstances. I am feeling captured to my part-time job income and to that fact that my domestic service job force me to be a local public person, I am being interviewed for several times a year by local media(mostly newspapers and radio). My goal and dream is to be accepted by society as good as a woman that I possibly can be but I am at the same time afraid that my outcoming as me being my feminine self would result to decreasing number of clients and also getting fired anyhow from this job. At this moment I really don’t afford to lose my job even if it is only a part-time job cause I don’t have another job right now.
For me a TG has no chose but to allow the woman they are to be expressed.
The result of not expressing it would be a depression
Which could lead to suicide.
As for passing a 100%, it is the Holy Grail.
But To me it is more important for a TG, to each day Say I will be the woman I am.
Hi Lucille,
I agree with your idea of blending in as opposed to passing. I dont want it to be obvious that I am a man in lady’s clothes. I havent made the total effort to be able to go out. I still need to get a wig & makeup. I want to be able to go out without the fear of being ridiculed or humiliated. I live in a small town where people are not as open to CD’s and TG’s. I may forever be a at-home CD.
I myself as a TS woman find that passing or not passing is often determined by if one looks nervous or not and not just the blending in issue. If you are new to crossing the gender barrier clothing wise and you act or seem all nervous you will be read no matter if otherwise you may look 100% the part. Many dont realize this. When you are out dressed as a female just think I have always been female and this is how I’m supposed to dress and the nervousness fades. As to the first stares you may get they are likely the other women checking out what you wear rather than what gender you are. As to the men .. well they may be looking at you as a possible date. I’ve lived female full time for years and those are some pointers I wished to share. And before anyone asks yes I pass for 100 % female.