Do you think it’s important to “pass” as a woman? Many crossdressers and transgender women wrestle with this question.
Is passing really something worth striving for?
I’ve shared my thoughts on this topic in this blog post. (Spoiler: I don’t think it matters!)
But now, I want to hear from you:
Do you care about passing as a woman, or are you proud to embrace your identity as a confident and classy crossdresser or transgender woman?
Take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts in the comments!
Love,
Lucille
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I am as of now on the flat to femme program but have not gone through any other type of treatments. I have a problem leaving the house if I dont look perfect and my voice leaves a lot to be desired. I have a way of talking with a little southern drawl that seems to pass quite well. It’s the practice and remembering what you are doing at all times that I get in trouble with. I have to remember to keep my legs closed!
I’m so used to being the true me I haven’t even worried about passing…. It’s been over 8 years since I came out as transgendered.
My Mom taught me to just stick my hand out, smile and introduce myself. …. I have more friends now than ever. When you’re happy as who you are it just shines thru….
Good luck ladies
Missy Jean
I’m a 71 yr young widow been living full time since May 1 2009 and generally pass everywhere I go. I live near Ocala Fl and dress in everything from summer dresses with spaghetti straps, cami with bra under, skirts, shorts and Capri’s depending on the weather and where I’m going, last summer 2014 at 70 yrs young I wore my first bikini to a pool party where I knew a few people and had never met about half the people before. I do have to say I was married for 32yrs to a supportive spouse with whom I went out together as girl friends many times in those yrs traveled by car up and down the east coast with. She always made sure I knew how to dress and act and let me know if I did something wrong, at one point in 1981 we were all set for me to go full time but as she often said life interfered. First with an unexpected transfer from parent company to subsidiary, then having to move to help take care of sick parents then she also got sick and we couldn’t chance the loss of health insurance for her her prescriptions. So it sadly was not until after her passing I was finally able to fully transition, but I know she would be proud and happy with the way my transition has gone.
I gave up on worrying what people think over a year ago, but I still try to look as passable to blend as I can when I do go out, I just don’t care who sees me leave my apartment building anymore.
Passing is an important ego boost for us woman without ovaries.when it happens your spotted on rare ocassions, its mostly because youve lost that confidence or girly feeling you normally have in life if your Trans. personlly i always pass if im just myself.a woman needs not to act to be a woman, we just need to know the game.
ANNIE
I’m in the closet as I am certain that discovery would ruin my self-employed job status. with the lightning speed of Faceboodk and twitter, all I have worked for could go pffft! in a single misinformed instant.
So I try not to dress in my city of Ottawa. I go to Kingston or Montreal where no one knows me. Face it, no matter how hard we try someone will see a guy in fabulous makeup and dress.
but there I can relax as they really won’t be able to say “which” guy is in that fab ensemble.
Herietta
I am a 64 year old dresser who lives in the City of Peterborough. In Kingston is a group called trans family who get together for a social time on the 2nd Saturday of the month at 99 York St in Kingston from 2 to 5 PM.
I attend at times, sometimes with wife if she is understanding and most times without. Check out their web-site. The hosts are Ruth and Ann Woods. Check out Ruth Woods website and the united church observer for Ruth Woods.
As time goes by I spend less time worrying about what others think of me. Although I am 6 feet 2 inches tall I get very few looks that are other than curiosity and I find that I just “blend in” most anywhere. Confidence and comfort in who you are make the difference. I have many cisgendered friends who love to be out with me and have no problems with whether I pass or not.
I agree with you. I’m 6 feet 1 inches. I pass quite well in shops, cafes, restaurants etc. here in Finland.
There’s a part of me that would like to pass as female all the time. When people relate to me as a woman, this part is thrilled. Then there are times when the feedback I get is not so great. Often these are instances where I need to engage verbally and all I can say is that it can be damn difficult. At times like this, this part of me wants to run and hide.
My motto is, “I’m trans and I’m proud,” and when I’m feeling self conscious, it’s is hard to connect with this positive affirmation.
The most satisfying thing about my trans journey is when I make a connection with cisgender women. Women’s brains are hard wired for relationship. According to the book; The Female Brain, this programming drives women’s behavior. It often seems as though they are the least concerned or judgmental when it comes to my true gender. It’s this connection, which truly sustains me. Sometimes it can just be a smile or a little chit chat, a nod, a glimpse. These moments make the work worthwhile, for when I am connecting to other women, I feel connected to myself and this is what motivates me even when I’m having a bad day.