Do you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender? Sadly, many of “my girls” tell me that they do.
If you feel you have to lie or sneak around to keep your feminine side hidden, I can understand the conflict.
But let’s get one thing straight – there’s nothing wrong with crossdressing or being transgender. Period.
We live in a world with very defined gender roles. Unfortunately, these roles are even more rigid for males.
It’s OK for women to express their masculinity by dressing like tomboys or by acting strong and assertive. But if a guy looks or acts feminine, he’s labeled as weird, weak, or gay.
The underlying message is that it’s OK to be masculine (even if you’re a woman), but femininity is something to be ashamed of.
What the heck!?
Society is slowing changing, but the time to reject these outdated messages is NOW.
I think Iggy Pop said it best:
“I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.”
There’s no shame in changing your gender to match who you are on the inside either!
I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on this topic…
Do you struggle with guilt or is it a non-issue for you? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?
Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!
The punk band from New York called New York Dolls stage attire consisted of wearing platform knee boots,stockings and even high heels and they had a big following and alot of fans and they where never mocked or put down and this was in the 70’s.I think it is terrible when judge for who you are and what you feel.
I’ve just told my wife I like to cross dress and have done for years , it’s a real struggle as I feel so guilty but it is a part of me that’s been there for so long .
I was caught outside dressed in a leather skirt and high heels. I was embarrassed as I couldn’t run when I was caught.
It’s such a struggle when you have had desires for a number of years , my wife has said she would come in the cd journey with me , but I feel really emotional about it and guilty , but the desire has always been there , really struggling at the minute
I answered yes in the poll, but not ashamed of dressing, pursing or behaving femme but because I am ashamed that I m not true to myself most days. I love being the gender fluid person I am.
I came to appreciate and even love my “secret” side. Yes I feel ashamed because I’m terrified of perhaps being misunderstood or even rejected by my family. I was sad until I saw my femenina world as a fantasy land where I can relax and enjoy. I don’t have the strength to jeopardize my family and career because I am older and I have too much to lose… So instead of being sad I look forward to any single chance alone to dress and behave femenine… Of course some people may not agree but as long as I can balance my life it is okay. I wish it wasn’t this way but we can do the best with what we have. I always tell my kids that your freedom ends where someone else’s starts… nothing is perfect but I can make it work this way.
Love to all of you ♡
Hi Berenise…finding balance in our lives is the best place to be. Your writing expresses peace and contentment. It also sounds that you love and value your family admirably. I like that!
Thank you for your words, you are so kind. Yes, my family and career are very important to me so it’s extremely hard to come out. I have learned to accept it and enjoy what I can. I have a lovely family and great friends but I feel so lonely in this very important side of my life. I wish it was different because I really enjoy my feminine side. Thanks again.
I’ve have preferred girls clothes since I was 6. I have always wanted to be female. Even after all these years, I still feel shame about it. But there is no stopping, I always come back to it. Eventually I will transition at some point. I wish I had the option when I was young.
I have been dressing since I was 9. I’m 69 now. Never have i felt guilty. I enjoy what little I can. When the opportunity came, I dressed and went clubblng. I can’t anymore since my wife quit drinking and getting drunk, so I wear panties 24/7, bra to work under my shirt and sweater and pantyhose or trouser socks.
I think guilt or deep seated transphobia is a huge hurdle for many transgenders. I admire those who have at some point overcome it. Then there are those who want to appear strong and deny it but inside themselves they feel it’s effect. Misinformation and stigma were ingrained in us from birth. Ridicule and rejection are the one-two punch that sends us staggering backwards into the closet, unsure if we want to come out for another round. All I know is, you can’t overcome this adversary hiding in the closet. What has helped me is to carefully examine who I am. Not my appearance, not what I think people think, not even what I think is right or wrong, but me. There’s nothing wrong with me, for I do my best to be honest and conduct myself with integrity. I do my best to treat everyone with respect and I always strive to do the best work that I can according to my ability. There is no guilt in that, I am not ashamed. Does it matter if someone doesn’t like the way I look? Have I really let my family and friends down? I’ve tried to avoid situations where I have to explain myself because I just don’t want to explain it. But I remind myself of who I am. In that, I have no guilt. I didn’t hear no bell, one more round.
Hi Morgan, I love your comment, you are so assertive and confident. You even post your pic and you are so pretty. Thanks again for your words.
Love, Berenise ♡