Becoming your best female self is more than just your clothes, hair, and makeup. It’s also about how you talk, walk, and carry yourself with confidence.
That’s why I wanted to share some crossdressing / transgender tips that go beyond the basics.
In this blog post, I’ll share 10 dos and don’ts to help make your MTF transformation or transition a success. Let’s dive in!
1. DON’T Compare Yourself to Others
There’s no winning the comparison game. Comparing yourself to cisgender women or other trans women or crossdressers will only make you miserable.
This isn’t a competition. Instead, focus on being your own best female self.
2. DO Find Female Role Models
While you shouldn’t compare yourself to other transgender or cisgender women, it IS a good idea to observe and learn from them.
When you see somebody who looks especially good, observe the details. How does she dress, speak, move, and behave?
You don’t want to be a copycat, but it can be helpful to incorporate some of these details into your own image.
3. DO Invest in Great Shapewear
The shape of your body broadcasts your gender, so it’s a great idea to invest in quality shapewear. This is even more important than splurging on expensive clothes!
Here are the essential shapewear pieces you may want to own:
- Breast forms in an ideal shape/size for your body
- Waist cincher or corset
- Padded panties (with butt and hip padding)
- Control top pantyhose
4. DON’T Forget Your Voice
There’s nothing quite as jarring as a beautifully made up woman with a voice that doesn’t match.
While you don’t need to have a perfect voice, working on improving your feminine voice can help you create a more congruent image.
Check out my blog post on Top 12 MTF Voice Training Resources For Your Transgender Voice Transition to learn more.
5. DO Dress Age Appropriately
It’s always a good idea to dress appropriately for your age, but this does NOT mean you have to look boring or frumpy after a certain age.
The key is to choose clothes and accessories that make you look your best – without looking too young or too mature.
To learn more, check out my post on How to Dress Sexy at Any Age: 3 Crossdressing / MTF Fashion Tips.
6. DON’T Overdo It
The biggest mistake you can make is overdoing it. This applies to all women!
Wearing too much makeup, dressing too sexily, and over-exaggerating your body movements are mistakes that can attract the wrong kind of attention. Instead, think subtle and stylish.
7. DO Get a Second Opinion
Seeing ourselves objectively can be tough. That’s why having a trusted friend for a second opinion is important.
If you don’t have a friend nearby, consider checking out transgender or crossdressing forums, or Facebook groups. They’re great places to ask questions and receive helpful feedback.
And guess what? Our blog has an amazing, supportive community too! Feel free to share your photos or questions below – the lovely ladies here would be happy to provide feedback.
8. DO Seek Support
Whether you crossdress in private or live as a woman full time, you deserve to be supported.
This could mean a lot of different things – from coming out to a partner, joining a support or peer group, finding a therapist, or just connecting with others online.
Being supported makes the journey a lot less lonely – and way more fun!
9. DO Practice Your Moves
Your body language and movements communicate more about you than almost anything else. Pay attention to your movements by keeping them fluid and feminine.
Check out these articles for more tips:
- 7 Tips for Feminizing Your Body Movements
- Trans / Crossdresser Heels: How to Walk in High Heels (7 Dos and Don’ts)
10. DON’T Forget To Have Fun
Whether you’re at home or in public, being a woman is supposed to be fun!
Drop the guilt, the comparisons, and the need for perfection and enjoy being the fabulous woman that you are!
What are YOUR top dos and don’ts?
Now that you’ve seen my list, what are YOUR top dos and don’ts? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked this article, you will love my FREE Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
Yes,have fun.Life is short with way too much turmoil and conflict.The conflict we can control is our mindset.Have fun.Wearing beautiful clothes and accessories and nice makeup .Wow.fun!Yes,and it is unfortunate how so many people are uneducated and look negatively on this.So,do it in a safe,caring,and accepting environment.Even enjoying it by yourself is great.Who are these other people that a person may be trying to please-aquaintances, people with unfounded fears etc.I also like part about voice control.That is vey sensual and adds to feminine aura.So,you cannot make sense with ignorance.But you can please yourself.Have fun!!!
Any trans girl could not get better advise than this. Many of the same ideas, with your help, are in my “Tricks of the Trade” books. Thanks for the information and keep up the good work. Love, Carollyn
carolyn not sure how did it but your breast they look natural on u unless your real woman anyway hope i haven’t offended you do look good for your age just wish i could get mine grow like yours curious know what kind of nipples u have
Gravity…and a good push up bra does the trick. Thanks for asking, Carollyn
carolyn not sure how did it but your breast they look natural on u unless your real woman anyway hop
carolyn not sure how did it but your brea
Carollyn….you are just so beautiful, nice smile, nice makeup, that love of life look in your eyes.
Being a girl is the best “hobby” a guy could ever have. Loving every second. Hugs, Carollyn
You are so sweet…thanks for the compliments. I’m here to help in any way I can. Thanks again, Carollyn
Uh Ohhh…Sorry Carollyn O, your secret ( which No one would have ever guest! ), is Out .Now everyone can try to emulate your special look.
I know I will! !
Question : I like Belts,to match shoes & bag. One of my lady friends said, ” they are Old School “. Your opinion please. ..
I wear belts at times. I feel it can compliment an outfit. You can see on some of my flickr pictures what a belt can do. I have all styles and widths of belts too. It all depends on the dress, top or the occasion. Hugs, CC
Carollyn O:
I have to say, You Always Look Fabulous. …tell me your age, sweetie. ..I am 71, so I ‘ ll keep your secret! !
Love your great look.
T.J…..get back to me. ..
T J, yes Carollyn is quite a beauty is she not? Another “mature” lady for us to emulate. Oh by the way, I see that there is another Heather posting here so I will be using Heather Lynn to avoid confusion.
I am concerned about safety. I have only gone out to meetings with other crossdressers at churches and clubbing at gay bars. I always felt safe at those venues, but in light of what is happening in today’s society I am not sure we are safe anywhere. Shootings at schools, churches, gay nightclubs, concerts, universities, shopping malls, airports, etc. are concerning. Add to that our little variance in lifestyle and it almost seems it would be inviting for some sicko to charge into my little bar and start shooting in order to rid the world of a bunch of “freaks”. As a result I have not been there in some time, although I do plan on attending next month. I will be alert and praying for all of us in attendance.
I have been invited by a transgender friend of mine to go out to dinner as Heather. It is a dream of mine to do that, however I am not sure that I can muster up the courage. Yet I might be safer there than in a gay bar. I would probably only face a few stares or even rude comments. Certainly not as terrifying as gunshots. I guess what I am trying to say is that what seems safe is not always so.
The other thing is voice. I have seen many masculine looking women that walk and move like a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, yet as soon as they open their mouths they are unmistakably female. I think that voice may be the most important asset in passing. Look like a duck, walk like a duck, but honk like a goose you may be looked upon like a goose. Therefore I will be signing up for Lucille’s 30 day crash course. Perhaps that will give me courage to go out with my friend.
Well, I’m 70…and I try to do the best I can with what I have. I’m fortunate to have had a very young looking mother who had a great complexion too. So, I guess I inherited the “best” of my mother and my sister’s didn’t get the luxury 🙂 Like you, I just love being a girl and try to do my best to compliment GGs. I know we can’t be perfect, but it is always fun to try. Thanks for the nice comments. Write me whenever you have a question or comment. Love, Carollyn
Great Points!
I would add this one: *own* your gender – self confidence is at least half of being perceived as you know yourself to be.
Some of you may possibly enjoy this:
Some Gender Transition Wisdom
https://medium.com/gay-star-news/some-gender-transition-wisdom-576e55b5015b
Blessings!!
Renée
Replies to your Dos & Don’ts
Don’t compare yourself to cisgender women – I observe (discretely), but notice how they do what they do. I look to emulate, not copy, what I see.
Do invest in great shape wear – it all depends on the outfit, what shapewear is most effective. I have a variety and I try to use that which shows off what assets best.
Don’t forget your voice – I have a tenor voice, but not suprano, I review your voice lessen system and it helps, though I find it too easy to make mistakes trying to be natural. This is very complicated.
Don’t overdo it – I try to select outfits that do not draw extraordinary attention. Similarly I use foundation light blush and matching light eyeshadow and a neutral lipstick and eye lid mascara no liner.
Do choose your environment wisely – (I go out rarely).
Do practice your moves – certain outfits make moves more natural. I have a large mirror that gives a complete view even from a distance.
Could you post about how to use the ladies room? I don’t tuck, I don’t have to, but when I pee, my panties always get wet after I pull them up. Am I doing something wrong?
Sara,
You might try dabbing yourself with t-paper before you pull up your panties. And you might check with your urologist about this. I take FloMax to aid in all my urinary functions.
I always use the ‘no make-up, make-up’ method of putting make-up on.
5. DO dress age appropriately.
Hmmm not sure about that one.
I’m 63 year old male and do not dress or look 63.
As a matter of fact most friends and acquaintances believe I’m
in my late 30’s or 40’s. And my wife and I have lost friends when they found out our age. I have had 20, 30 year old women make passes at me at my night job. I work in Night clubs at night. We do not keep our age a secret but when asked we tell.
So my question is I do not dress, act, or look like a 63 year old.
And when I crossdress should I dress like a 63 year old?
The few times I have gone out in public some friends do not recognize me. I even had once a hetro male make a pass not knowing who I was.
So how should a 63 year old woman look?
Hi Lucille
Your number 2 things to do is something that I have done for a long time. I always observe how girls and women dress.
But more importantly I watch how they move about when they are shopping in stores or having dinner .
One of the most important things that I learned from watching females getting in and out of a car while wearing skirts or dresses is how they do it without opening their legs and letting their panties show. It amazed me as to how they did it.
But after watching many girls I learned how to do it exactly how a genetic girl would.
This is something that I really needed to learn.
I really don’t want anyone to see what I’m wearing under my skirt unless I want someone to.
I’m sure that you know what I’m talking about because I’m almost sure that you sometimes like to tease as much as I do and giving someone a peek of my panties is a good way to tease.
I want you to know that sometimes I feel like being a little naughty and giving someone a peek of my panties while getting out of my car is my favorite way of being naughty.
I liked all of your do’s and dont’s
They are right on for transforming from male to female
Hug to you
Janine