Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
I just realize I needed a better name than pissedpussy I have given it a lot of thought over the last 6 mounts I like the name Sarah Ann much better I thank from now on I will use Sarah thank you for making me face one of my fears. one of the things I have been worded about is that used to be my player name for on line games but Now it will be Sarah Ann
Thank you so much for giving me the courage to face my fears
love you a lot for the help
thank you
Sarah Ann
win I am not at work I like to were heals, I were my heals to the store to drive in and all over I get some real funny looks but I don’t care i like my heals. at work i were flats that are girls but the thing is no one evens notes that they are girls. win I go out I do my eyes and 90% of the time no one evens notes that they are done most people win they do notice most like it. it is fun to get out and enjoy who you are.
Thanks to you and all the other girls I go do what ever I what. Go out to eat, shopping use the womans restroom. You told us we can do what we set our mind to do. Thank you for all your advice you help a lot.
Loooking back at my youth, I suppose that there were always inklings that there was something different about me, but I could never put my finger on it, and I spent the first 55 years of my life doing every “macho” thing in the book (with the exception of jumping out of a plane), so my transgendered status was totally supressed until I was in my mid 50’s, but once it revealed itself to me, I found that no matter how much I resisted it, I could not control it. Nevertheless, despite my constant attempts to put her back into the bottle from which Cara had emerged,it took 3 years of therapy to admit to myself that “Cara” is who I really am and always have been, . After an additional 2 years, I realized that the only way to become the person I was meant to be was to Become The Person I Was Meant To Be! I started hormone therapy, and soon after that, I knew that I needed to make a total transition. In February of 2011, I legally changed my name to “Cara”, “came out” as “Cara” at my workplace, filed an application with the necessary paperwork from my Therapist to the Division of Motor Vehicles in the State of New Jersey, receiving on the spot a new driver’s license in the name of “Cara” and identifying me as “Female”! Were there obstacles to overcome? Plenty, and there still are, the biggest one being the financial shortage preventing the finalizing surgery that I long to have, but never before have I ever felt so “ME” as I did after revealing my true self through those “coming out” events, nor have I ever felt so proud of what I had accomplished.
There are those out there who detest us, the transgendered, and there always will be, but only those who have walked in our shoes (and believe me, sometimes I even have a hard time walking in some of my shoes) can even begin to comprehend what we must go through just to be who we truly are. Nevertheless, facing our fears and just being who we are is so rewarding, and in my own personal case, after facing that fear, I’m happy to say that most people are very accepting, and those that aren’t – who cares?
Now, getting back to the to the second topic of the fear you are facing Lucille, Go Ahead! Make Us Proud! I’ll stand behind you, but just know that no matter what I’ve said here, I ain’t jumpin’ out’a no plane!!!!
I’m sure my fears will be lessened when i finally get electrolysis.
Well Rachel, I hope your fears aren’t holding you back too much because you look better than I do girl and I’ve already had my beard and a lot of body hair removed by electrolosis. I didn’t have it done so much for fear but because it was so exasperating to have to contend with shaving, heavy makeup and 5 o’clock shadows. I was originally Miss Paranoid and scared stiff but now, read or not, there’s no stopping me. You get a big hug.
Shirley
i’m getting close to 60 years old and have been dressing almost 55 years. recently i was “outed” in the local newspaper. your post here has given me the courage to present myself in public as Michele and confront my fear of being humiliated, or worse. i can’t help ya with skydiving though. :->
I still lots of fear when going out dressed but I do have to say I dont go out dressed in full makeup and dresses . just jeans and scoop tops showing my new “girls”. you know just styles that most woman are wearing today. have not had a date in long time to get dressed any more than that ! You have help with this Lucille and all the other girls here too we are a force and we wont be taken lightly anymore . xoxo girls!!! Lisa
oh ya i forgot riding my Harley Electra Glide also helps conquer fear nothing like a hot chick driving a Harley. “giggle” xo
I have never really cared what other people thaught about me so I’ve just done what felt natural. I did get some odd looks before I got my breastforms and learned how to do my makeup but since then, nada. I am now adressed as Ma’am where ever I go “en femme”.
I like the Nike slogan “Just Do It”! I will say again it is amazing what breastforms, proper makeup, ear rings, and maybe a wig can do for your image and confidance.