What do you think of when you hear the word “ladylike?” Beauty, poise, and class? Or perhaps, outdated notions of femininity?
To me, being ladylike means being classy, gracious, and elegant. No matter what your idea of femininity might be, I’m sure we can agree that these are great traits to have.
If you’re a crossdresser or a transgender woman who wants to be perceived as a lady, there are a few things you should steer clear of.
Read on to discover 5 common mistakes that can detract from your ladylike image.
Mistake #1: Showing Too Much Skin
Being ladylike definitely doesn’t mean being a buttoned-up prude. However, good taste goes a long way when presenting yourself as a woman.
It can be tricky to know how much is too much, so here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Show off one part of your body and keep the rest covered. A little mystery is sexy, so show off your legs, breasts, or back – just not all at once.
- Flaunt the right amount of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is to reveal 20%-40% of your bust. This gives you sex appeal, while keeping it classy.
- Try the finger length test. To determine the proper skirt length, stand up straight and put your arms to your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
Mistake #2: Not Minding Your Manners
Good manners and etiquette are dying arts in today’s world. Saying “please” and “thank you” are simple ways to elevate your ladylike status.
The rules of etiquette can be a bit more confusing. To learn more, check out my blog post on 6 modern etiquette tips for your male to female transformation.
Mistake #3: Being Sloppy With Your Grooming
Grooming can make or break your feminine image. In fact, studies show that grooming has more of an impact on your attractiveness than the physical features you were born with.
Are your grooming habits up to par? If this area needs work, be sure to see my article on 5 feminine grooming habits not to ignore.
Mistake #4: Losing Control
One of the most important qualities of a lady (and of any respectable human being) is self control – especially when you’re out in public.
In other words, no diva acts, angry outbursts, or public displays of drunkenness. It seems obvious, but if celebrity tabloids are any indication, it’s not.
Mistake #5: Poor Posture Or Body Language
Finally, don’t forget that your posture and body language communicate more about you than anything you say. Here are some major no-nos:
- Slouching
- Biting your nails or playing with your hair
- Not making eye contact
- Crossing your arms
For an even more comprehensive list, review these 27 male to female body language mistakes to avoid.
Do you aspire to be ladylike?
So what do you think of the term “ladylike,” anyway? Do you find it outdated and offensive towards women? Or a feminine quality worth aspiring to?
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked these tips, you’ll love my FREE 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
Hi all – I’m retired and 78 years young! I just try to blend in as a woman and be as feminine as i can. I do not want to bring attention to myself and try to dress as any other woman does. So far no problem! Here I am today at Macy’s trying on a cute dress! So much fun being a woman!
Guilty of changes, sometimes when I get so upset with someone, I don’t say please or Thank you! I am going to do my best to control my attitude. I agree with these five remarks, thank you Lucille
According to behavioral scientists, Crossing your arms is a defensive posture, and playing with your hair is a sign that the person is sexually or romantically interested in the person you are talking to. All your tips were excellent and this is the sort of feature that makes your blog valuable.
My favorite ladylike pose and feeling oh so feminine
Another ladylike pose …
Thank you Ms. Riki.. comment for all the ladies, too
If you put your hand on your hip then twist your arm or it looks aggressive or masculine. As a photographer, it is not the best of poses, and better if you are holding or touching something.
All great points. I’ll add a few I’ve noticed over the years (and may have been guilty of myself on occasions!).
1. Sitting with legs open resting heels on barstool footrest.
2. Walking in heels like a man instead of putting one foot directly in front of the other. Think about walking a tightrope.
3. Carrying purses by the shoulder strap so the bag almost drags on the ground.
I enjoy being feminine and for me, femininity is not synonym of weakness. Being feminine mean being mentally strong, having self-confidence and assertiveness, while maintaining a good image. Femininity is not presenting a beautiful packaging, that is just an empty box.
I want to be a female but how can I tell my mother I am 47 years old
It is something that can be done. As Ms.Riki said use a news story or something similar to open the subject with your mother. In my case my mother had caught me dressed in hers clothes one or two times as a teenager but we never discussed it then. I was 63 and she 91 before we finally did. I saw that she had been reading an article in National Geographic magazine about transgender people. I used that as an opening to let her know that I had never stopped dressing or wanting to be a woman. She said she always though I might have but she was as nervous about discussing it for all the years as I had been. She accepted me as both her son and daughter and we were able to have one mother/daughter outing together before she passed. Picture is of my mother and I on our outing.
Your Mother (all mothers) just want their children to be happy and fulfilled. They also want their children to be honest with them so just bring up the subject as a third party. I mean make it a conversation say while there is a news story about trans or if there is a TV show with a drag performer. Then you can find out her feelings and adjust your “coming out” from there. Remember that being trans is a journey, and not a destination.
Ladylike is what I would like to be. Always.
It doesn’t matter whether cis women want this or not. Somewhere, someone is keeping ladylike qualities alive!
Love,
Grace
Laff riot–thanks, lovey.