What do you think of when you hear the word “ladylike?” Beauty, poise, and class? Or perhaps, outdated notions of femininity?
To me, being ladylike means being classy, gracious, and elegant. No matter what your idea of femininity might be, I’m sure we can agree that these are great traits to have.
If you’re a crossdresser or a transgender woman who wants to be perceived as a lady, there are a few things you should steer clear of.
Read on to discover 5 common mistakes that can detract from your ladylike image.
Mistake #1: Showing Too Much Skin
Being ladylike definitely doesn’t mean being a buttoned-up prude. However, good taste goes a long way when presenting yourself as a woman.
It can be tricky to know how much is too much, so here are some simple guidelines to keep in mind:
- Show off one part of your body and keep the rest covered. A little mystery is sexy, so show off your legs, breasts, or back – just not all at once.
- Flaunt the right amount of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is to reveal 20%-40% of your bust. This gives you sex appeal, while keeping it classy.
- Try the finger length test. To determine the proper skirt length, stand up straight and put your arms to your side. If your fingertips fall past the hem of your skirt, it’s too short.
Mistake #2: Not Minding Your Manners
Good manners and etiquette are dying arts in today’s world. Saying “please” and “thank you” are simple ways to elevate your ladylike status.
The rules of etiquette can be a bit more confusing. To learn more, check out my blog post on 6 modern etiquette tips for your male to female transformation.
Mistake #3: Being Sloppy With Your Grooming
Grooming can make or break your feminine image. In fact, studies show that grooming has more of an impact on your attractiveness than the physical features you were born with.
Are your grooming habits up to par? If this area needs work, be sure to see my article on 5 feminine grooming habits not to ignore.
Mistake #4: Losing Control
One of the most important qualities of a lady (and of any respectable human being) is self control – especially when you’re out in public.
In other words, no diva acts, angry outbursts, or public displays of drunkenness. It seems obvious, but if celebrity tabloids are any indication, it’s not.
Mistake #5: Poor Posture Or Body Language
Finally, don’t forget that your posture and body language communicate more about you than anything you say. Here are some major no-nos:
- Slouching
- Biting your nails or playing with your hair
- Not making eye contact
- Crossing your arms
For an even more comprehensive list, review these 27 male to female body language mistakes to avoid.
Do you aspire to be ladylike?
So what do you think of the term “ladylike,” anyway? Do you find it outdated and offensive towards women? Or a feminine quality worth aspiring to?
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. If you liked these tips, you’ll love my FREE 3-part Male to Female Transformation Mini Course.
I love the term ladylike. I aspire to be as feminine as possible and I cannot think of a better compliment! If I think of myself as a lady, people will see me as a lady. The world needs more sweet feminine attributes and I want to be a part of it!
At 65 I dress age appropriate, maybe less 10 years, mind my manners and do not dress like a slut, dress appropriate for the time of day and where you are going. Dress to blend in and not stand out. Keep the heals less than 3.5″, walk with steps less than 26″, holding shoulders back, chest out, head up, and look people in the eye, do not walk with an exaggerated wiggle, if you do you will get “read”. I have been out since age 20 and have only been read twice in 44 years that I know of. Once by teens outside a mall entrance when they had lots of time to clock me as I walked across the parking lot towards them and once in a walmart when my wardrobe was not colour coordinated properly.
To me I think ladylike is an outdated term and a more correct term I think would be a word that encompasses having good manners and tact, I’m not sure what word would cover those two things, but I feel those 2 words apply to both males and females and so the concept of being a gentleman and ladylike are the same thing. I also feel that a woman should not be criticized ever for how feminine or not feminine she chooses to express her gender, which also includes their behavior. To me a masculine woman is just as ladylike as a woman who would be typical for say downtown Manhattan if she has good manners and tact. I’m a feminist who believes in equality for all not just women because there are a lot of areas where women get to be so much freer and not be judged for it, but a male no matter how masculine will be ribbed so hard and have his masculinity doubted if say likes to do cheerleading as a sport, which damn those guys have some great bodies, or a guy who say loves to dance or loves ballet in particular here in the US no matter how masculine he may be so many people will automatically assume that he is an effeminate gay male, or a heterosexual wimpy effeminate male. It’s also why homophobia is so rampant still in the US because men are so afraid of having their masculine heterosexual license taken from them just because of suspicions or because they like to do things that key
word USED to be female only things to do. It’s also why straight men don’t want to be seen or known to be dating a trans woman who is either pre-op, non-op, or post-op even post-op doesn’t matter so many people will constantly give the straight men who love us sh*t over liking a trans woman which usually includes things like calling them gay, a faggot, a tranny lover, and you ain’t straight maybe bisexual but not straight and to me that’s so unfair to him and more so to the trans woman because it’s denying her existence as a woman and saying no matter what if a man has a relationship with a trans woman that he is bisexual at the least, and at the worst he is gay, and is now no longer a card carrying masculine heteroseuxal man because it has been revoked for him falling in love with or being attracted to a trans woman. Which is no mystery if they like women, they would of course find a trans woman attractive at some point. Especially trans women who have been on HRT for a while because we emit the same sexual pheromones that any woman does, and the way our body odor and sweat smells changes, so even though a man may know we are trans he may still find himself being subconsciously attracted to her. Anyway sorry for that rant that was way off topic, but to me I pretty much agree with your idea of what ladylike implies and I don’t think there is anything wrong or outdated with a woman who that’s who she is, that’s how she likes her self to look and act.
Whether it’s brought about because of the culture\society\environment the girl is raised, and then later lives in as an adult doesn’t matter to me as long as she is happy with herself, and doesn’t feel like she is trapped in a box, and can only be a stereotypical ideal of what a woman should look and act like for where she is brought up trans or cis, then I don’t think there is anything wrong with it at, all as long as they are also exposed to other ideas of what it means to be a woman and what ladylike means to other people outside the bubble that grew up in and that not all cultures view it the same and that it’s constantly evolving as women get the freedom that they lacked for so long to define what they feel ladylike and womanhood means. I think in Saudi Arabia where females are forced to be one way is wrong, outdated, and should be changed, however, that does not mean that women in the future in Saudi Arabia shouldn’t have the right to dress as traditionally muslim as they like once they treat women like Western countries do as equals(well on paper anyway, lol), but we as women are still treated way more equal to a male in this country than women is countries like Saudi Arabia. Just like women here in the US who want to for sake of making a some what similar comparison women who want to express their gender like the women from 1950’s america and to be a housewife should not be judged for wanting to do that and I don’t feel that she should be judged negatively again as long as she is happy that’s all that matter to me, and the same is true of men as well. I hope that ramble made sense and if anyone has questions please feel free to ask.
I love that article and always try my best to avoid the mistakes highlighted. For the past 6 years I have had my older sister and an aunt in my femme life – they constantly remind me if I lapse, not in a critical way but more to encourage me to embrace my femininity. They have been so supportive and i would not have traveled this far without without them.
Hi: Diane
I have had the same support from an aunt of mine. In the old days, she used to let me try on her things. Witch was quite a task with her being a natural G- cup !!! LOL
But all kidding aside. She has been wonderful and such a great help. I just love being feminine. She has always supported my dream.
Hugs : Donna
That is such a good article. If I’m out for lengthy periods I find I have to really concentrate on being my female self – concentrate on posture & deportment, concentrate on mannerisms and remember the subtlety of movement that born women have. And most of all, don’t give yourself a hard time if you do lapse – those born women have had years more practice than you have.
Ladylike to me is is to look as femme as possible. Well groomed. Blending in as a women not looking like a guy wearing a dress. Lisa
I enjoyed years of glamorous, sexy….ummm sometimes slutty weekend nightlife. As I now transition to fulltime, a girl does have to remember that sometimes LESS IS MORE. Putting away the spatula and war paint was difficult. Learning subtlety was kind of scary. Of course I’m not throwing out the nightlife clothes. They’ll always have a special place in my memories….and my closet!!! Here is a “NOW” and “THEN”. Let me know what you think girls! Kisses!
Wow! What an intriguing post! On the surface it seems obvious. But on reflection, what about those times when it might be fun to be a bit less than ladylike? Where do you draw the line? How far can you go and how often, and still avoid falling into some really poor habits? It’s good to keep aware of where you are on that line, even if you do let yourself lapse at times. At any rate, it IS fundamental to know what “ladylike” is, and how to practice it. Thank you, Lucille, for that reminder and those tips. And for linking to Lauren Conrad’s valuable site. Speaking of which, I would like to add to her advice on red wine. To properly treat a bottle of excellent red wine, gently remove the cork, and allow it to breathe. If it does not seem to be breathing, administer mouth to mouth…