Have you noticed that all stunning women have one thing in common – besides their killer looks? It’s CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is also half the battle of passing or blending in as a woman. That’s why the best MTF advice I can give you is to develop your confidence!
Of course, I understand that it’s easier said than done. That’s why in this blog post, I share 3 ways to feel more confident as a crossdresser or transgender woman – starting right now!
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
How can you expect to feel confident if you constantly put yourself down?
Most of us are so used to criticizing ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It’s a bad habit – but like all bad habits, it can be broken.
The first step to stopping the cycle is to interrupt your thoughts. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, literally tell yourself to STOP.
Next, find a way to reframe your thoughts into something more positive. Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. Look for progress rather than perfection.
This might sound like simple advice, but it works if you actually do it.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Confidence is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. And just like your muscles, it’s something you can develop and improve.
One of the best ways to develop confidence is to take action. You’ll never build confidence if you stay in your comfort zone and do the same things you’ve always done.
So get out there and try something new! Take a few risks! For example, step out with painted toenails, book a makeup lesson, or join a crossdressing or transgender Meetup.
Once you do, you’ll be amazed at how confident you start to feel in situations that once terrified you.
3. Celebrate Your Successes
Appreciating your accomplishments is another great way to increase your confidence.
It’s easy to focus on the areas that still need improving, but don’t lose sight of how far you’ve come.
What risks did you take today? What did you do well? No matter how small, start to recognize these and celebrate them.
More confidence boosters
Confidence is one of the most important feminine qualities you can develop. These tips are a great starting point.
If you want to learn more, here are my favorite books for building confidence:
- Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Now let’s hear from you…
Where do YOU fall on the confidence scale? If you consider yourself a stunning, self-assured woman (and I hope you do!), what confidence boosting tips can you share?
Please leave your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. One of my favorite confidence boosting tools is hypnosis. Want to try it for yourself?
Click here to sign up for my FREE 8 minute Unleash Your Inner Woman hypnosis mini session.
In the last year I have accomplished so much, from presenting myself as a women, having a make over, purchasing and being fitted for a wig at a salon to shopping. It is with such pleasure that I can let my femme side shine and enjoy coming out. Recently I made the decision to see a counselor as I wanted someone who was neutral to talk too and share my feelings with. Yesterday was my 3rd visit, during our 2nd visit she let me know if I wish to come in femme it was ok. So I took a half day of vacation and doll myself up, with a few hours before the appointment I decided to have some fun and go shopping. WOW, talk about a wonderful experience. By now it was time for my appointment with the counselor. as I open the door to the waiting area there were two other women waiting, they glanced at me but that was it. I was just another women in the eyes. Finally my time came and the counselor showed me to her office, once behind the closed door she just could not get over how much I look like a women. She loved my hair, said my makeup looked great and commented on my outfit. For the next hour we sat there, two women talking. I was completely at ease and comfortable, talk about building your confidence. I can not wait till Robin can come out again. Just a beautiful day!
As I put on my make-up and dress in my best feminine clothes I can’t help but think that it sometimes feels so natural to be this way. I let myself go for a while but have never ventured outside to confront the world as a woman. I guess I mostly feel that I need acceptance before taking risks like this. It is such a large step from feeling the inner woman to accepting the outer woman.
Bonnie Lea
When I first started getting dressed after I became a adult I didn’t have the courage to venture outside of my motel room.
I felt the same way that you are feeling.
I wanted to be accepted as a female but one day I got dressed and everything went really smoothly.
My makeup went on and there weren’t any flaws in it
My hair was styled and looked great.
When I looked at myself after getting dressed I knew that I looked especially good.
Right then I knew that if I wanted to be accepted that I needed to go out and let people see me and what I looked like.
So I took a deep breath and opened the door of the motel room and went outside for the first time.
Bonnie Lea
It was so invigorating to be out of the motel room and feel the breeze blowing under my skirt and through my hair.
I went into the parking lot where my car was parked and there were motel guests getting their luggage and belongings out of their cars.
To them I was just another guest walking towards her car and nobody said anything to me or looked at me like I didn’t belong.
As far as I was concerned that was telling me that I was accepted as a woman.
I know that it’s easier said than done but believe me Bonne Lea there’s nothing to be afraid of.
You try it sometime and you’ll see that I am right.
Good luck and good wishes.
Janine
Hi Bonnie,
I agree with LuLu, the first few times stepping out is going to be frightening, alarming, terrifying, petrifying, hair-raising, spine-chilling, blood-curdling, bone-chilling, chilling, horrifying, nerve-racking, fearsome, unnerving. I probably experienced all of those feelings plus a few others. Just take baby steps, you will make it and find that for the most part the world does not care.
I do have a little experience at this, so relax and accept the inner and outer woman just a little each day and one day you will wake up and know that you are beautiful inside and look beautiful outside.
Love and Donadagohvi – Robyn
P.S. The photo is me a few days ago when I was just a wee little girl of 13. Sea, My little experience. LOL
Thank you so much Robyn. All I need to remember is to take baby steps. I feel much more comfortable in my female clothes daily and you are right that it is but a short step and a scary step to the outside. I’m working on it and starting to gain some confidence in myself.
Aloha Bonnie! I know that fear too. Just about everyone on this forum has as well. That fear of judgement can paralyze you to not allow you the simple pleasure that women do all the time, which is to be themselves. It’s taken me a couple of years to be able to step outside. The first few times, who-boy, I was so selfconcious and scared to death. But you know what? When it comes down to it, no one cares. I get served like any customer at restaurants or grocery stores. Fear of being judged? We are constantly judged no matter what we look like, what car we drive, our accent, the color of our hair. Love yourself, be yourself, no one is going to make you feel less confident than you make yourself feel. Wishing you all the best because if you feel beautiful inside, you’re going to look beautiful outside too! Love and Aloha -Lulu.
Thank you so much for the warm comments Lulu. It is great to feel that there are so many out there that feel the same that we do and want to express our true feelings. It will take one great step but when I do I know that it will truly be me. Wishing you all the best this festive season.
It takes me a few minutes to assemble myself. With another dab of lipstick, a deep breath, I walk outside and shine. Now if only I could stop jabbing my mascara brush in my eye before I go out the door! Love and Aloha -Lulu.
Hi Lulu
I think everyone has jabbed the mascara brush in their eye. I know have done that a few times. What I have found is that if you hold the mascara brush under your eyelash and blink you pull your lashes thru the brush and get an even covering of mascara. Of course you need to do it three times per eye, first on the outer lashes, then the inner lashes and finally the center lashes.
Best Wishes
Robyn
A most excellent technique! Thank you Robyn.
i have found out that just being yourself is the best way to be confedent , when that has come to be then nothing will stop you .
I agree with you totally. Being yourself is the way to go! -Lulu
There is so much truth to this. Only within the past several months have I really gone out in public where I can interact with others. And being confident has made a tremendous difference.
This past week I was in Kansas City at a conference and decided one night to go to Howl at The Moon as Rachelle. It was amazing, I fit in and was seen as just one of the other girls. In fact, I ended up being invited to join a larger group that just happen to include several men and women that know me as my other self. I was a bit nervous that they would discover the truth, but they did not!
How do I know, because I had a meeting with most of them the next morning and they had no clue, and actually shared their story of their previous night’s adventure.
Needless to say, this experience was a real confidence booster for sure
Rachelle
Oh my! That sounds like a totally fun experience! Way to go girl!
Aloha Rachelle;
5′-8″!! That’s the perfect runway model height! Fun in Kansas City and a wonderful positive experience makes this something to do again. I can’t think of a greater confidence boost than what you had and how you were able to present yourself. Wishing you another wonderful evening soon! -Lulu
Lulu, it was and frankly, had I not experience it for myself, I wouldn’t believe it. Now I must also tell you that physically, I am 5’8″ and a size 12 and wore jeans, flats and a cute sleeveless cami type top with vertical ruffles in front, tasteful make-up and the right accessories. I also can’t wait until my next trip and venturing out to normal places for dinner or the evening!
Happy Holidays
Rachelle
I don’t try to “act” like a woman. I am a woman. People who meet me treat me as a woman. That’s who I am. When I need a perm or cut & style, I go to the beauty shop. When I need clothes, I shop. When I go to the doctors, they call in a nurse when they give me an exam. Men hold doors open for me and I smile and say thank you.
It wasn’t always like that until I let myself be me, a woman. When you let the inner you take over, the woman is there and will come naturally. And that is what others will see. Letting society dictate who you are is what is hard. Let the inner you decide who you are and it will easily come forth.
I should add, I had the credit card company issue an extra card with my feminine name and that’s the one I use.
What an excellent idea, about the credit cards. You most definitely have the right attitude too! -Lulu
Confidence has NEVER been an issue with me, sure I get the butterflies in the stomach the shaky feeling just about every time I go out but that’s just the unknown, that all disappears with the first foot step out the door for then it becomes jelly beans and excitement looking forward to being out in public as Lindsay seeing and being seen.
I am pretty, strong, and feminine so if you don’t like my wig, dress, or anything I’m wearing “THEN GO GET YOUR OWN”
luv ya
Lindsay
Same here. Butterflies! Each time I step out in public, I let those butterflies fly away! -Lulu
I have a job that takes me out Of state away from my family I am married and I keep a secret that I like men and I would like to be a woman someday just been too scared to ever admit it to anyone my sister did she came out of the closet and she’s got a great relationship with another woman the Family has been very acceptant of her The difference between her and Myself is I have children she didn’t and I want to become a woman where she already is.
well Anyway I got a boost of confidence the first night I was away from home.on my job out of state. I went out to a local gay bar in town dressed as a woman. This is first time I’ve ever done that it was so exciting. I didn’t have any makeup on so I looked just like a guy with a dress on but I met a few local guys in town they have helped me with my make up a lot. I amnot too sure about being able to do it in a non-gay friendly area still working on my confidence. truly has been a great trip for me to remember for my confidence building and I feel more womanly every time I dress, plus working away from home gives me great opportunity to meet other guys and to experience my feminine self