Have you ever felt misunderstood?
Sadly, there’s a lot of ignorance out there! That’s why in this blog post, I want to debunk common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
Let’s start with one of the biggest misconceptions that’s unfortunately still hanging around:
Myth: Transgender women, crossdressers, and drag queens are all the same.
While all these are valid ways of expressing one’s gender, they represent distinct groups, and it’s important not to use these terms interchangeably.
To clarify, here’s how the GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines some common transgender terms:
- Transgender women – People who were assigned male at birth but who identify as women. Many transgender women are prescribed hormones or undergo surgery, but transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.
- Crossdressers – Men, typically heterosexual men, who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories associated with women. This activity is a form of gender expression and is not done for entertainment purposes. Crossdressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women.
- Drag queens – Men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment.
- Gender non-conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
- Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of male and female. The term is not a synonym for transgender and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
Now that the record has been set straight, let’s look at some of the most common myths about crossdressers and transgender women.
7 Myths About Transgender Women
- Being transgender is a choice.
- Transgender people are gay.
- Transgender women aren’t “real” women.
- Your sex is defined by your chromosomes and/or hormones.
- You have to have surgery to be a “real” transgender person.
- You aren’t transgender until you start hormone therapy.
- Kids and teens are too young to know if they’re really transgender.
7 Myths About Crossdressers
- Crossdressers are gay.
- Crossdressers are perverts.
- Crossdressing is a psychological problem.
- Crossdressing can be cured.
- Crossdressers want to change their sex.
- Crossdressing is a destructive addiction.
- Crossdressers can’t be good husbands or fathers.
Have you heard any of these myths before? They’re frustrating and hurtful, aren’t they? It’s time for the world to wake up and realize this truth:
Your gender is who you are on the inside. There are countless ways to express your gender, and all are completely valid!
To help spread this truth, check out these excellent resources from GLAAD below. They’re a great way to increase awareness about transgender issues.
Recommended Resources from GLAAD
Now let’s hear from you…
What’s the truth that YOU’D like to set straight? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
One thing that I think is a shame is all the married men who cross dress and can’t or won’t come out to their wife. Living
this type of life in the closet and sneaking around to meet
people or go out is not a ‘healthy’ thing to do in my opinion.
I don’t think women necessarily need to like it if their husbands
dress but it would be so much more reasonable to simply be
honest with your wife. When a wife finds this out about her
husband it can be and often is painful for both spouses. It
also results in a ruined marriage in some cases. I hear guys
always say “oh she would never understand” or “oh, she
would just kill me”. One bit of advice I would offer is to tell
the woman you’re planning to marry the truth about your
inclinations, BEFORE you tie the knot. Having that discussion
is not easy but it’s better than being discovered as someone
who is hiding and being creepy about it. I really believe that
most cross dressers are bisexual and that is all the more reason to be upfront with a wife or potential wife. Lets face
it society is f***** up and religion, marriage and cultural pressure/standars is not conducive to the free spirit. Gender
blur activities should be recreational and fun, in my opinion.
I let my wife know just after we were married, we have been married over 38 years.She didn’t like it then, and she doesn’t like it now. She throws it in my face when she wants to. She says I can dress at home, but that would go over like a lead balloon. So I let Tina come out to play when I can. I truly do love my wife, but it is hard on Tina knowing my wife doesn’t like her.
I agree with you Marci. Openness and honesty are critical to a great relationship. Without them the relationship is based on fraud.
I have beendealing with transgender issues since I was younger and the struggles have mind bending and I have gone back and fourth but after taking a gender test I have come to realize i’m more woman than man 83%>I love wearing and dressing in private my ex girlfriend wanted me to become her g.f and I totally regret it because I lost her to someone else I has made me realize I no longer want my male sex organs .I feel that nature made a mistake and sex as a man/shemale is wrong to me every time I get ahead something keep me from moving forward its like some keep punishing me for being who I am.
Sounds a lot like me, except that I’ve accepted things the way they are. I don’t care whether the thing is there or not, I use it for peeing only, but I don’t want to cut it off either, maybe because cutting it off, would mean becoming normal, a “normal” woman in this case. I want to be different thanks to me I am. And I love it. (Most of the time)
We are kindred spirits jenna thomas.
thank You again Lucille! your posts always make so much sense and are often very helpful. loved reading your facts about crossdressers, and can attest that they are all true, at least in my case. of course, all of us are also a little bit special too and may have a special secret or two… 🙂
Your comment shows you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Thanks for sharing with us.
I hate it when people confuse “shemale” with TS/TG people. that is an insulting, degrading term that should never be used because it is a term invented by the porn industry. “he-she” is another I find offensive i’m a non-op TS and deserve the same respect given to a GG as I believe we all should be given.
I’ve seen the term “shemale” many times, and also “he/she”. But I think the worst one I’ve seen is “It”. Can you imagine calling another human being “It”?
As for my past, I knew I was somehow different in Kindergarten and First Grade. I wondered why the other girls in my class got to wear the pretty dresses and the cute little black shoes and I couldn’t.
Many years later, in a medical book, I found a term that described me somewhat. Visits with a really good therapist helped me greatly.
Then the learning curve started. I did get to finally become a student at a local beauty college, and loved it. One of my biggest compliments came from another student. I was on one side of the classroom, and there were two student on the other side having a conversation about girl things.
One seemed to feel uncomfortable with me being there, but the other said, “Oh, don’t worry. **** is just one of the girls here.” WoW, huh? Never did get a chance to thank her for that.
In August 1996, I transitioned to living fulltime as a woman, and haven’t looked back in the 18 years since. I am comfortable with myself, and I feel good about my self. I’ve been hospitalized several time over the past few years, and the staff is more concerned about me getting better than the way I look or dress.
Three years ago, I took up a new hobby and became a gun owner. I show up at the range with everything I need for a few hours of target shooting. I do get some respect with my abilities and some of the weapons I own. Several guys are very jealous on my SA M1-A rifle! I’ve let a few shoot it, just to give them a thrill for the day.
The first weekend of October, I attended my 50 year high school reunion. This is the fourth one I’ve been to, and I’ve had fun. Also answered LOTS of questions from fellow classmates, but that’s to be expected.
No, I have not had SRS, nor will I ever have it. With my age (68) and health conditions, no respectable surgeon would ever put me on a table for that extensive surgery.
But that is okay with me, because I get to life the life!
Best of luck to all!
Gerri
Agree………applause !!! I to hate that to include being called a drag, tv, shemale or cd or sissy. I have nothing against anyone whom is an identifies as those, but it is not a TS plain and simple.
I do not think I feel comfortable in crowded situations but I still do not know why.
Over the years my adopted family–my biological parents have passed on over a decade ago-have tried to make me more social and I suppose indeed I have become more so but I don’t know what this has to do with my male sex. All I can say is that for whatever reason I would not like to be confined simply with members of my sex yet I do not consider myself to be transgender. Occasionally acquaintances consider me to be unique but not especially feminine.
One of the first people I came out to as transgender was a good female friend of mine… the first thing out her mouth (after wow) was — do you like men? Kind of caught my by surprise — probably because I know the difference between gender and sexuality.
People just don’t get the difference between gender and sexuality…. I eventually came out again as bi-sexual. Some ‘myths’ are hard to kill…
well I have been born a man but I have been cross dressing more now then ever and I have begian to feel like a woman but some of mt friends think this worng but I do not see amy thing wrong with me wanting to dress like a woman
As a “mainstream” crossdresser – a myth that I would like to dispel is that crossdressing is a sin.
That prevalent belief is really damaging to anyone who has a Christian faith life or has loved ones who have such a faith.
I totally agree I believe God made us this way for a reason. Thanks Salina.
I agree with you, my family and friends who are Christian believe that any male who dresses or lives as a female, are sinning. They say that we are going to Hell and should repent and go back to what we should be. I am in my second year of transiting and get lectures from my parents regarding this issue daily. I’m a Christian.
One way to debunk the ‘crossdressing is a sin’ myth is to point fanatical Christians to this article: http://www.dglenn.org/words/deuteronomy.html
As you can see, there is only a single reference in the Bible to crossdressing: it’s a law that never applied to Christians, but only Orthodox Jews. Or else Christians would also have to follow the remaining guidelines, which they’re exempt from following.
If they insist that the law still applies, then what about women wearing pants? Deuteronomy 22:5 is quite clear about that: it’s ‘an abomination unto God’. But Christian women don’t need to worry: they know that this does not apply to them. In that case, the reverse cannot apply, either.
They might counter that it’s what their priest says that counts, not one’s interpretation of the Bible. In that case, you have to ask them if they are following Christ or their priest (or if they can actually tell the difference).
religious texts in Muslim& Christianity both say that we should not judge others(GODS JOB) but both of them do a lot of judging!
Dispite how they seem to Hate each other–This shows how much alike they really are!