Do you ever find yourself wondering if it’s okay to crossdress? Do you feel weighed down by society’s judgment and expectations?
Well, it’s time to shed that weight and liberate yourself! Let’s talk about why crossdressing is absolutely okay, and why you should embrace it without any guilt.
1. Self-Expression Matters
As humans, expressing ourselves is a basic core need.
Crossdressing is just one way to showcase your personality, tastes, and preferences through clothing. It’s an ideal outlet for creativity and individuality.
2. Fashion Has No Gender
Who says certain clothes are meant only for specific genders?
Clothes don’t have an inherent gender; they are pieces of fabric that can be enjoyed by anyone. So, wear what makes you feel confident and fabulous!
3. Breaking Free from Gender Norms
Crossdressing challenges outdated gender norms. It’s time to break free from rigid ideas of what’s “appropriate” to wear.
Crossdressing allows you to take a stand against society’s expectations and encourages others to do the same.
4. It’s Not Harmful
Let’s be clear – crossdressing is harmless. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, there’s no reason to feel bad about it.
Feeling guilty about expressing yourself through clothing is unnecessary and unproductive.
In conclusion
Being true to yourself is a beautiful thing, and it sets an example for others to do the same.
So, let go of the guilt, and embrace your fabulous, feminine side!
Now I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you ever feel guilty about crossdressing? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?
Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!
Love,
Lucille
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i no longer feel guilty at all after having been fulltime for so long (18 years). everybody knows now, of course.
i do, however, keenly feel the repercussions of being TS. i miss out on a lot of family activities because they’re just not really sure how to be around me.
my feeling is that those who really knew you in the former gender (i.e. parents, ex-wives, etc.) never are truly comfortable – every “she” they say confounds their brains because my gender is already well established to them.
this is only family, though – those who cannot imagine me male have no problem with the right pronouns…
so guilty – no. but often confounded as to how to fit in the new family milieu – all the time…
R
Hi Rue.
I know what you mean when you said family has a hard time with saying she/her. My wife is not accepting of me. Some of my family knows, but won’t accept me either. The first time I stopped at a gas station, and the GG attendant said Mz. to me, I felt I had died and went to heaven. So you are right, those who didn’t know us as male are more accepting of us.
Much love ❤
Tina D. H.
I used to be but now that I have told my wife and she is very supportive I feel fine
My Personal Struggle as transgender
I knew I was different since age 4
The name I use today, though not legal is Emily and I have always identified as the female gender though I was born male. I know from personal experience what being transgender is all about and the difficulty, heartache and pain associated with knowing your body does not match your mindset, I always felt society was and still is very narrow minded in their expectations of how a child should develop and be raised at birth solely on their physical characteristics and not what they believe in their mind, heart and soul.For most children this is not an issue as they are very comfortable with their body and how they perceive themselves. They may exhibit traits that are considered masculine and feminine which explains sensitivity in some boys and “rough and tumble” in some girls.This is normal but transgender children don’t see it that way at all.
When I was a child I always felt comfortable around the girls because I always felt that was my destiny to be one of them even though I was very different and knew it. I can’t tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep desperately hoping and wishing that by some miracle I would wake up and be a girl. I felt like I was going crazy and at the age of 16 I tried to overdose on aspirin but all I experienced was a bad stomach ache and managed to survive my struggle although I was in deep pain and could not tell anyone. I was a very sad and painfully shy child and depressed most of my life and what saved me was the love of my parents though I could never tell them what I was going through because my mom and dad suffered in their life with depression and my dad also battled alcoholism but they still were very devoted to my two sisters and I.
I survived my gender dysphoria by wearing girls clothes which I did all throughout my life and I knew as early as 4 years old that I was very different but I did not know what to do about it so I lived in what I felt was a fake reality where I pretended and lied about who I truly was. I had to live as a boy and deal with the pain and isolation that many transgender youth experience. I did have two things that helped me get along and find some friends as a boy. They were baseball and my devotion to my school work. I was encouraged to do my best and I also was gifted with the natural ability to play baseball and other sports. So I was accepted as one of the boys but this was a facade. This was not truly who I was inside.
I always wanted to dress as a girl and loved to look at myself in the mirror wearing a dress and as I mentioned I started doing so at a young age. I truly knew in my heart, mind and soul I was a girl but there was nothing I could do about it. I was trapped and I suffered all throughout my life for my perception of who I truly was. I felt betrayed to be a boy with a girl’s mindset, girl’s feelings and girl’s emotions. I was a complete mess and I had no one to help me sort it out. I had to live with this virtually all my life.
I have also been blessed with many good things as I was accepted by people but that was based on their perceptions of me as a boy and as I grew into adulthood as a male. I had to overcompensate and pretend all my life but deep down I was crying and in pain. When I was growing up I knew I had a major dilemma that I had to deal with but the time I was a young child growing up we lived in entirely different times where society was much more narrow minded then it is today and you dare not say a word if you felt at odds with your body and your gender identity.
For transgender individuals like myself I totally relate to Jazz in the story of her decision to “come out” at age 6, which I find very much my story as well. I don’t know the statistics but I believe that a lot more young male to female transgender children are coming out much earlier then I ever could and luckily many have the love and support of their families which truly is a blessing so they can be spared the pain of what transgender adults like myself have gone through.
I tried to live by the rules as a male and I was very fortunate to marry a beautiful and special woman and become a father of a son I love dearly and forge a career for myself but I never could resolve my gender dysphoria which became my lifetime struggle and continues to be for me. I can’t escape the fact that I have a male body but a female mind and female core identity and I recognized this at the very young age of 4.
I think young transgender children like Jazz are very lucky to have such caring parents who accept her and are doing what they feel is appropriate and I feel she is truly a girl and deserves to live her life as a girl and not have to go through male puberty which for me was truly heart breaking and really damaged my emotional well being and outlook on life. I was truly struggling all my life with my sex and my gender identity and I could never reconcile it in my mind, my heart or my soul.
I also was very blessed in that I actually managed to study Mechanical engineering and follow up with an accounting degree and become a CPA. I have struggled despite all my good fortune with my gender situation and depression for a lifetime and have also battled guilt in my decision to finally accept my female gender and start the process to transition from male to female at the age of 51. I am currently on female hormones and had started a new job where I was accepted from day one as Emily but sadly my world came crashing down on me when I was let go after only 7 months and I put forth my best effort.
I have since struggled to live life and tried to take my life just a month ago. I am still struggling with depression and I feel very guilty about my transgender situation because I have a son and I feel very conflicted. I feel sometimes we live in pain and just have to do our best to survive. I dress as a woman in my life outside of the house but my contact with the outside world is very limited now given my jobless situation and I feel very vulnerable as I am battling depression, being out of work, identifying as female and living a male life at home for the safety and well being of my son who is autistic and a female life outside in the world but as of now I am very isolated and feel like I will most likely be out of work for a while due to a bad economy and the likelihood of facing discrimination in the job market for my transgender situation and most likely I will lose my house in the process and may decide my life is not worth the pain any more though I still have so much to live for.
The only thing that could save my family concerning the house and prevent them from being homeless which would ease my mind is knowing 2 of my life insurance policies will pay out due to the two year suicide clause. I would gladly sacrifice my life as Emily to save my family and give them some measure of financial security in my absence and i would finally be at peace but the reality is I truly do want to live to see my son do well and graduate high school and hopefully go on to college and find happiness in his life and enjoy the joys of friendship.
I know the feeling of losing a loved one to suicide and it really hurts deeply and no matter what you go through you will always feel responsible and I just can’t put my son or family through that but the desperation I feel is very real.
I have really suffered recently with self esteem, confidence and I have lost my whole trust in society and feel so sad because as Emily I am truly happy but I am not receiving the understanding and help that I truly need. I am however seeking medical help and been hospitalized on several occasions as I am very fragile in my mind right now.
The statistics don’t lie! The suicide rate amongst transgender individuals is nearly 44% and I heard it could even be as high as 50% which is the highest amongst any group of individual groups. This is a real tragedy and I blame society for this because of their narrow mindedness and their inability to accept differences such as transgender.
It truly is a life struggle and I know because I live it every single day. I just hope one day transgender individuals will be accepted and treated with respect and finally have people and society realize that transgender individuals are good people and should not be afraid and feel they have to live in shadows their whole life. We as a society have to stop all this hatred and discrimination towards transgender individuals or any minority and show respect and admiration.
I applaud Jazz and her parents and all transgender kids who have the courage to come out in their youth. It will help save lives. Trust me on this. I know because as I said I live it everyday. It never goes away. It is my lifetime struggle and it always has been and the real sad thing is that my son also has struggle though vastly different from mine but I know his pain in being autistic and struggling socially and making friends and it just seems a replay of my childhood and I just can’t help but cry for my son and I just feel so much to blame for it. I just feel so sad and question why we must suffer so much just because we are different. No one is perfect and we should never judge others just because they don’t fit the norm. After all what does normal really mean?
For me normal means living as a female and dressing up. I realize i am not nor could I ever be perfect but that doesn’t make me a bad parent or role model to my son as been suggested and I truly feel society and people as a whole are very ignorant as to what gender identity disorder is and the pain and suffering transgender people go through each and every day when they face the mirror or dress for their day. It is a real heart breaker and more people need to understand the pain and struggle and learn not to judge. After all what makes them so special or high and mighty to make lives for transgender individuals intolerable with the emotional pain they inflict.
They should be taught to accept others and appreciate each others differences as that is what truly makes us all so special and defines who we are as people. I feel I have to express my feelings on this to raise awareness for the transgender community and hopefully invoke a little sympathy for our struggle if nothing else. I only wish the best to all the ones going through this struggle and their families who are trying to understand it and cope with it and hopefully try to help their child going through it. They are the ones who need the love and compassion in addition to the understanding and acceptance so they don’t grow despondent and feel they have no choice but to end their pain and that sadly is a reality for many who bear this difficult burden. Hopefully our families and God will help us find ourselves and find comfort and peace in our lives despite our transgender identity. Let’s pray for all those whose lives were cut short way before they could experience the joy and uniqueness they knew they were dealing with. I just wish I could advocate and have a positive role in helping myself, my son, my wife, my family, my friends and most people in my life and do something special with my life to encourage and inspire my son and help him with his autism with my wife by my side and for those like me who struggle their whole lives as transgender. We can hopefully find peace and happiness in our lives if we believe and surround ourselves with kind and caring people and maintain a positive outlook. I truly am inspired by Jazz’s story and I only wish her the best. She is my hero and so is my son.
Love,
Emily
This topic struck a chord, as I’m sure it has for many of us. I just turned 61 and transitioned a year ago. Even though this happened late in life, it was critical because I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I struggled with acceptance for so long, never believing I could go all the way, but I’m so happy now that I did. It has been wonderful! Things are different now that awareness has increased and Lucille’s information is absolutely the best available!
Best,
Dina
u look great I envy u im a 63 yr. old cd
Hi Andrea, thanks! Voice was the most challenging and I’m still working on it. I just got the voice program from here but before that I would listen to women on TV or radio announcements and try to repeat them. I feel they are trained for public speaking so why not copy someone who is universally accepted. As Lucille said in one of the emails, ” The 2 things that will give you away is your walk and voice. I take all of the information from her as gospel.
There’s a great line from Sherlock Holmes speaking to a disbelieving Detective, “This investigation will go along a lot faster if you just take my word as gospel!”
I have two comments and one query:
1. U look GREAT, and 100% femme.
2. U don’t look 61!
Q. In transition, how have u managed to transition or voice?
Hello, Lucille and everyone:
I could (should?) write a book about that one! Short answer: I *used* to feel guilty about being transgender, but I no longer do.
What still confuses me, having lived most of my life as a male, is that many women really seem to privilege males/maleness. Given my life experiences, etc., this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
Best wishes,
Veronica
The only person I have told about being trans, and whom immediately belittled me, is my mother. Difficult as it is, I do my best to ignore her stark view of gender; mostly because she can’t stand wearing dresses and heels 😉
As my sweetheart says, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
I used to feel guilt then i realized that there is always going to be someone out there that will hate you for who you are. so now i go everywere with no guilt.
I only feel guilty about deceiving my family, who have no idea about my desires to dress as a woman as often as possible, or that I have done so for over 30 years. I would love to come out to them, but there is no way…
Pity Carollyn, you would make a smart looking
woman.
NEWS FLASH: Since you have been a transvestite for 30 years dressing as often as possible,as you say,which sounds much like myself,I have found that as we think that people are ignorant to what others are up to is a total misconception.We all have what could be best described as intuition.Couple that with the years of just simply knowing someone for that long a period of time,as in say your neighbor, you can”read” them.You
were “read” long ago.Over the years,you also have left traces of that darn red lipstick that os so hard to get off of your lips.Relax,it’s O.K.Everyone knws. nobody likes being lied to and you can only deseve someone for so long. family members will put up with that far longer than any friends. you will get caught up in your lies and you will find you have no friends and few family members who still put up with it. you must be honest or you will be only lying to yourself. if you cannot be honest
with yourself then nobody will want to be your friend and you will become one of the loneliest human beings on earth trapped by your own lies lose the lies and become honest with yourself you will be honest with other people and they will love you for it and you will become a whole person. and honest trustworthy confident and respectable person no matter what you do with your private life just so as long as you are not hurting anyone else. it’s ea sy if they love you confirm their notions they will still love you no matter what.Let the people you want truely”into”your life is
I agree with you completely. I too have dressed for over 30 years and more so now but still I’m in closet were a family is concerned. I tried to come out in the past and it was ugly. I just don’t want to lose what I have.