Do you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender? Sadly, many of “my girls” tell me that they do.
If you feel you have to lie or sneak around to keep your feminine side hidden, I can understand the conflict.
But let’s get one thing straight – there’s nothing wrong with crossdressing or being transgender. Period.
We live in a world with very defined gender roles. Unfortunately, these roles are even more rigid for males.
It’s OK for women to express their masculinity by dressing like tomboys or by acting strong and assertive. But if a guy looks or acts feminine, he’s labeled as weird, weak, or gay.
The underlying message is that it’s OK to be masculine (even if you’re a woman), but femininity is something to be ashamed of.
What the heck!?
Society is slowing changing, but the time to reject these outdated messages is NOW.
I think Iggy Pop said it best:
“I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.”
There’s no shame in changing your gender to match who you are on the inside either!
I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on this topic…
Do you struggle with guilt or is it a non-issue for you? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?
Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!
I am 55 years old and until about a year ago, had denied my inner feminine feelings. I am currently separated from my spouse (but has nothing to do with my feminine side), so that sint as big an issue as my children. They are now grown and have children of their own.
I have tried to bring up conversations with my children about cross dressing and transgenders. I instantly get feedback on how sick that is. So I could never let them know.
Also, my favorite modes of dressing is perhaps wrong for me because of my age. I tend to want to dress younger than I am even if I were a biological female. But its what I like.
Because of these situations, I tend to restrict myself to femme dressing at home. Occasionally if I am on an out of town trip, I might go out in public just to feel the liberation of it all. And I love that feeling. I just wish I could that freedom at home.
I know that feeling all too well Roni when you go out and feel like this is what I truly am and then reality sets in!
Rather than feeling guilty, I find my situation a bit of an embarrassing. I know all the cliques about how girls can openly wear guys clothes, shirts and baggy jeans and the like but as soon as I don a skimpy vest, everyone gives me an odd look.
I’m not in breach of any laws so f*** them. I now do what feels right for me and others can keep their opinions to themselves.
Despite various colour changes in our respective governments, fortunately we are still at liberty to express ourselves and live our lives in the way we see fit.
End of lecture!! firstname.lastname@example.org
I used to feel guilty about being transgender but once I came out I was more comfortable with myself and I feel stronger.
You look totally awesome Michelle! 🙂
I was a closet cross dresser for a while and was caught by family and vowed never to do it again…but things change.
I am a submissive and my soon to be wife is my dominant. When I told her of my desires to dress en femme she was a little hesitant to begin with but she warmed to it and we often go shopping for clothes together! Many of my friends know and they have no issue either.
Always remember, you are not the one with the problem…it is the ones who don’t like it that do.
Yes, I was embarrassed and ashamed growing up cross dressing and guilty about it in my marriage of 22 years because I was not the “man” she thought she married. After all that struggle the baby steps to therapy then to hormone therapy and finally finding peace and myself as a “new human gender”, a fresh spirit for the age of Aquarius, and more of a woman than many gg’s, I am finding incredible acceptance from unexpected places in my new city. I am out and proud of the woman I have transformed into… the guilt is gone, washed away.
That’s wonderful, Alie – especially the part about finding incredible acceptance from unexpected places.
I don’t feel guilty about it! It is what it is and nothing will ever change that! My problem is how to transition from male to female. (money,legal aspects, surgeries, etc.)
Until one is honest not just with oneself, but with others. There will be guilt. Being 1 year full time I feel guilty when I am NOT representing my true gender. I know there is no need to present as feminine as possible all the time but I feel guilty when I do not. That is where I feel dishonest. Also I never felt guilty. I did feel ashamed at times. Many of us at least initially tend to believe the stigma of perversion of being trans or a cd. It makes it worse when you simply cannot help yourself. It is an addiction which as the brain works technically is because it is the only way your brain can perceive the estrogen it desperately needs. Being ashamed is simply a stage in ones transition. Some of us cannot get past that part of it and go full time. Some of us never want to go full-time. Those who do not eventually get over the guilt but I imagine it takes infinitely longer than someone who decides to transition. Because when you do, the lie is exposed to the truth. Otherwise it stays hidden and can eat away at your soul.
Sophia, you are very pretty!
I don’t feel guilty anymore. I presume that since I begun hormonal treatment, it was easier to be myself, even if someday, the “in between” state is kind of difficult.
I’ve never been ashamed to dressed femininely at first, then to live full time as a girl. But the shame you can fell is often due to lake of self-confidence and is increased by your own fear.
Yes, medias or stupid common knowledge, tends to describe femininity as a weakness but thing are really changing. I’m happy to live in a big tolerant city (Paris, France) so it’s easier to be oneself than anywhere else. I cherished that. Even if I was living in some smaller city in France it would be much more difficult. But I see cities like Paris as pioneer. There’s never been an alternative to progress, never.
The only thing we are responsible is being kind, attentive and polite to the most people around us. Let me tell you, it’s probably the easiest and best way to be accepted in your community and eradicate the shameful feeling you might have, whoever you are. Yes, some people might be aggressive toward you some days, but the vast majority will be kind, trust me. So be confident, kind and generous whoever you are, want to be or want to dress, really sometimes, it make all the difference. You can’t feel ashamed if people accept you ;p