Do you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender? Sadly, many of “my girls” tell me that they do.
If you feel you have to lie or sneak around to keep your feminine side hidden, I can understand the conflict.
But let’s get one thing straight – there’s nothing wrong with crossdressing or being transgender. Period.
We live in a world with very defined gender roles. Unfortunately, these roles are even more rigid for males.
It’s OK for women to express their masculinity by dressing like tomboys or by acting strong and assertive. But if a guy looks or acts feminine, he’s labeled as weird, weak, or gay.
The underlying message is that it’s OK to be masculine (even if you’re a woman), but femininity is something to be ashamed of.
What the heck!?
Society is slowing changing, but the time to reject these outdated messages is NOW.
I think Iggy Pop said it best:
“I’m not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.”
There’s no shame in changing your gender to match who you are on the inside either!
I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on this topic…
Do you struggle with guilt or is it a non-issue for you? If you’ve overcome feelings of guilt, how did you do so?
Please take my poll and leave me your comments below!
I have Been cross dressing since I was 15 and have always until recently felt guilty and ashamed. I keep it as a secret and I don’t want anyone to know. My partner knows and she supports my dressing and she really likes it when I transform myself into a femenine woman or I become her French maid.
I used to but don’t feel guilty any more and enjoy my dressing very much as long as I keep it private.
i’m mostly guilty about not being able to be who i really am.
Yes, such problem exists and I too hesitate as well as other girls, and I do so, simply I go to other city and I buy everything that is necessary for me, certainly it not an exit and me as well as another is sure very much yours will help gipno the program! It is necessary to get rid of complexes and as it is possible rather! My opinion, all people have the right to be by itself. Sanny
The question: “Do you feel guilty about crossdressing or being transgender?”
That is not an easy answer as there is a range from far left to far right. Surprisingly, I voted no. Being male or female depends on two parts, the first actually the mind and the second part is the physical. In other words if you were born male and your mind is telling you that you are a girl, then you end up hating yourself and doing everything you can to be miserable even to the point of self destruction. The most important part is to try and figure out the real you and follow that path and find people that will support whoever you are, because it needs to be ok either way, but it being ok, comes from within and not from the external. Many following feminizationsecrets, are perhaps torn between male and female? What is important is relationships. One cannot be happy if they try and hide the inner person just because society seems to feel you should be something else. If a person can figure out the inner person, then one can find someone that is compatible that will support our inner person, whoever that person is and that will honestly save thousands in therapy costs. The worst of all things is for one to hide who they are, so if you are feeling guilty then you probably trying to be something that you are not? If you are a girl, great; if you are a crossdresser great or if your a transgener or something else, it needs to be ok on the inside, so the guilt goes away. There are support groups in many places and if not in local areas, then on the Internet. The point is finding the right group, so you can grow and become a whole person.
Thanks for providing such a thorough reply.
“I live in UK, I consider people here are even less accepting than in usa.
Would be interestedin your response please.
Yes, Andrea, I do understand what you are saying and the reason I said what I did is that you or I or anyone cannot control what people think, one can only control what we think of ourselves, no matter what that is? If we cannot see ourselves as the way we want, then we cannot get other people to see something different. Let’s take an example where a male sees themselves as a female? The concept is to see ourselves in this example as a female and not male. To become that female we might have to go through a transition period and over time hopefully we will see the change in us, so we do not feel guilty.
The test for this person in the example is when they can be confident enough to go to the ladies room instead of the mens room? The point, good or bad is that others cannot accept us, unless we can accept who we are and who we are needs to be good enough for “ourselves” because we cannot make family or other accept us if we cannot truly accept us.
Once a person goes through transition they should not feel guilty. Transition is more in the mind, than changing the physical characteristics.
Let’s try this? A person cannot make another person feel guilty, unless we let them. That is the key. Who is in control? Is the perception we have internal or external? If we are dependent on what others think of us we are in trouble. We do not have to buy into other peoples beliefs or accusations?
Yes people can be cruel, but we do not have to wear other peoples cruelty. Everyone is different. Some kids that are male physically but in their mind or spirit are female, literally do damage to themselves if they are not able to act and dress as a female. You see they already have gone through transition on their own. Hopefully parents and teachers at school will be supportive and they are more supportive today than even a few years ago. There are groups that work hard to explain what they need to, to the schools and even prisons. So far it is limited in prisons, but in time, who knows? A lot of this has to do with equal rights, being able to be one’s self.
I hope that makes some sense? If not feel free to ask questions.
I did want to add that hypnotherapy can be a great help and I viewed the sample that is available, which would help most. One of the things they use is a thirty day training period to accept what is stated in the therapy, because if someone does something for thirty days, the likelihood is that they will have added a new habit or altered a habit.
I’m not sure if I can agree with your comment about ‘if feeling guilty then one is probably trying to be something that they are not’. Surely much of the guilt is fuelled by a realistic fear of rejection by loved ones and society as a whole?
The world is still very blinkered that people must fit into well-defined slots, in my mind it is a long way from accepting that a person on the inside may be very different from what they see, and other are often not considerate with their comments/reactions and can be downright cruel.
I live in UK, I consider people here are even less accepting than in usa.
Would be interestedin your response please.
Non issue for me. It helps me that I happen to believe in past lives. I know that I have been many times male and female and even TG. This is just what I am expressing this time around.
“Emma”…”GREAT LEGS”…”Do You Prefer Pantyhose or Nylons”
I nearly started crying reading this. Even after coming out as transgender I still have alpha males saying I’m probably actually bisexual and cisgender women telling me I’m not a feminist because I put women on pedestals. I’ve survived abuse by men, suffered a lot of misogyny in my life. When I use a men’s restroom I lower my voice and avoid eye contact. It’s frightening. At the same time I can’t go into a woman’s room unless it’s for one person at a time. I don’t pass very well as either male or female. Being androgynous and having feminine mannerisms but male-like anatomy causes intense anxiety! I know I’m a woman, the same as any other woman would! Feminism is refusing to be defined by your body and never defining others by theirs… How I dress doesn’t determine my gender or anyone else’s! Usually I dress like a lot of women do, in skinny jeans and a small T-shirt. I’d like to wear skirts more. In general I want more fashion options. I want to enjoy myself too, damn it!
Yes, I wouldn’t mind “dress like a man”, if there was any fashion-freedom for men. But it isn’t.
We are not “allowed” to wear all those nice tops (halter, spagetti-strap, tube, square-neck, v-back-neck). It pisses me off!
I definitely agree with you M!
Love what you said about feminism, Hrefna. BTW, I edited your comment for you. I’m OCD like that too. 😉
I wish there was an “Edit” button. Uh, “because I* put women on pedestals”! #OCD
Even though I have my wife’s support I feel guilty and I have children who don’t know and I cannot ever see a situation where I would disclose this to them.
I share your feelings Jana. Same situation for me. Thank god for supporting wives.
I don’t feel any guilt about crossdressing But i do feel guilt that I lie to my family everyday about who I really am. I have a sister who came out 2 years ago and my family accepted her as she is. I wish I was a brave as her. Is there a way to talk to her and tell her how I feel inside and how do you do it. plus I am married and wife has no idea of my secret to become a women someday. Life is complex indeed
I under stand all to well what you are going through . I have a wife like you but she is a little week on the emotional side . she has tried to kill her self once she has said if I die she will kill her self to . and she would consider me becoming a woman dyeing . so I would kill her if I became a woman . and my family would disown me to ( mom dad bro aunt cousins ) so I would be alone .
I’m assuming from the comment about your sister coming out that she is a T-Girl? If so, surely she would be receptive to u talking to her about how u feel?
The ‘being married’ part is not so easy – there seem to be quite a number of girls posting to this site who are married and their wife accepts it. Perhaps there is a lot of love in their relationships to make this possible?