Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I’ve been living full-time as my authentic female self since early 2019. Blending in and not attracting negative attention was always an important goal. I have insecurities with mainly my face. I feel that standing out more in a glam way allows more potential for people to criticize me. I do my best to present stylish and/or age appropriate. It really all depends on the occasion. I prefer that my makeup look more natural vs glam.
I was in the “blending in phase” like Cheryl for years until I started to realize that most women were in a “sloppy phase”. I have always like a sophisticated lady. So I started buying outfits to make that transition. It was a great move. My first outing in my sophisticated look was fantastic. My other crossdresser friends were just amazed and I have never look back.
I does take me twice as long to get ready, but it’s worth it.
Blending in is just the first step on our way to womanhood. Once we have gained the confidence to be out on the town without worrying about your appearance, the next step is improving yourself to stand out . Watching the natural women around you and emulating their appearance and actions, you soon discover that it is rather easy to stand out, as most women are rather sloppy in their appearance and have lost either the desire or knowledge to truly standout. Trans women tend to study femininity and apply that knowledge to more acceptable women than the real thing.
As for myself, I have passed the “blending in” stage and try to dress as the upper level “sophisticated lady”. That in itself makes me a standout, looking better than the general female population
Right on sister I agree with you 100%
In my 30s and 40s blended in mostly on Friday and Saturday nights I wanted to be hot and stand out which was fun. Now at 65 learning to blending in again. Nothing worse than an old man warring women’s clothes. Just want to be gray haired old lady out shopping (with class)
I have been in transition for 21 years. Seriously, since Bill Clinton was president. A lot of me has changed and despite the fact that I am more than half a century old, I am hot AF now! I have a natural 40DD bust and I turn heads wherever I go! Is it because I am trans? Beats me and I don’t care. I love the attention!
You”re not going to get brave enough to hit those streets as the woman you yearn to be sitting at home! Get off the couch, and doll yourself up like the goddess you are! Put on the heels and grap life by the short and curlies and claim it as your own – because it is, all of it!! Don’t ever ever ever let someone else define who you are!
Hi dressing for me is an exciting pleasure, I just used to dress to blend in but being accepted as female and for want of better words being barely noticed or even ignored never matched my excitement, so now during the day I power dress and in the evenings dress to impress, now the attention matches the feeling, making it all an amazing experience xxxxxxxxxxxx
Blending or standing out are just words. After all some genetic women just blend while other stand out. For me blending means wearing the appropriate attire to match where you are going together with the right makeup for the occasion. To stand out I have found that just blending alone will not do it. I also have to hold my head up, make eye contact and smile to most that are around me. After all a confident women that acts the part and looks the part will never have any issues when out in public. Just be the girl you know you are inside!!
Oh, Jenny, CONGRATULATIONS! Looks like you got off to a lovely start. Now many more delights will follow ( and some odd moments, too). That first step took courage; I’m glad you pushed yourself into it. My first foray didn’t involve any fear of physical harm, but I was deathly afraid I would be laughed at! Thankfully, no problem. Best wishes on your new career.
Thank you to the wonderful ladies who responded. I read all 700+ comments and found your personal stories, advice and encouragement truly inspiring. You have given me the courage to step out enfemme in a semi-public venue for the first time while my nonsupportive wife is away. I chose to blend in but dress well as I need these first outings to be positive. I selected a dress, shoes and jewelry that looked nice for our area and season. Even though my hair is short and my makeup skills are minimal at best (mascara, powder and lipstick) I thought I could pass. So yesterday, gathering up my courage, putting on a smile and acting like I belonged (all advice mentioned over and over again here) I stepped out in broad daylight and walked to the curb to get the paper. Scared though I was I lived! Then I discovered I had lost an earring while out so that led to my second trip out in less than 2 hours. Today I was much more confident and calm on my trek to the paper box and this afternoon I walked my dog in the highly visible field across the street. Any dress I own would have been out of place for the weather so I opted for a nice blouse, light jacket, jeans, over the calf boots and appropriate jewelry. I’m off the next two days and have plans to take my dog with a picnic lunch out for some nice walks and geocaching in the country. If I meet someone face-to-face in my travels I’ll smile and my heart will race but I expect I’ll survive and grow from there.
Someday I hope to take a trip out of town and spend a few days as “Jenny” where I would love to shop, have a makeover and get advice on a wig. Maybe even take in a drag show or pride event!
Thank you Lucille for all that you do for our community and to all those who have proudly stepped out making the way easier for me and others to follow.
I have a long way to go but at least I’ve started the journey! I nervously look forward to the next step.
Hugs and kisses to all of you,
Jenny D
Good luck lady
Keep up and gapped luck lady
That’s awesome! Congratulations Jenny D.! I’m happy for you. Many people have no idea of the strength and courage it takes just to express oneself honestly. Your hair and makeup look fine. Your courage will definitely inspire others. Again, congratulations!
Good luck lady