Are you afraid to step out as a woman for fear of not “passing?”
Instead of fixating on passing, my advice to crossdressers and transgender women has always been to try to “blend in” as a woman instead. (Read more on that topic here.)
But lately, I’ve been wondering… Is blending in REALLY the ultimate goal when presenting as female?
After all, why wear cute outfits, style your hair, or apply makeup if no one notices?
I think it’s a natural feminine desire to want to stand out and make a statement. Does your inner woman share this desire?
This is an interesting topic, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
- Do you enjoy getting positive attention when presenting yourself as a woman?
- Or do you prefer to blend in and attract as little attention as possible?
Please take my poll and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I’m studying to become a fashion designer and, at the same time, I’m getting ready to transition. I think you have to be true to yourself; for me, that means looking fantastic when I go out. There’s no greater compliment than when I stranger who has no emotional obligation to you compliments on your outfit, hair, make-up, etc. I dress to be noticed. I suggest, though, that if you want to do this, you should keep up with fashion trends (reading magazines, surfing the net, observing people, etc). It’s OK to look hot, not slutty, but hot. It does wonders for your self esteem.
I think my goal is to blend in, though it is a trick question there is a twist to that answer.
As I proceed in my transistion I find that I am so very attracted to men. I think I always have in some form or fashion, but I would not acknoledge the fact.
I think my attraction to Women was a desire for emulation or conversion to be female.
So ultimately I want to blend in to the point that when people do look at me they see a woman, but I want the attention from the boys but in a positive even flirtatious manner.
Sarissa
For society to become comfortable with us, they need to see us and realize that we are just regular people. So, I think it is good to not always pass as long as you look and behave appropriately. It is nice to pass much of the time because it means you are doing well at presenting as female, but I don’t worry about not passing.
Blending in versus standing out is more of a personality thing than a TG issue. Either way, it is best just to be yourself, do the best you can, and not worry about passing all of the time.
Hello Lucille, I have to say that I prefer to `blend in` but endeavour to do so in a positive way. I love to be noticed as being an attractive woman & dress & do my make up accordingly, putting thought into what I am going to wear for the occasion. At the same time, I am aware of when I am blending, because every person I come into contact with treats me as a woman,& I find that to be the ultimate compliment.
Hugs
Kaye xx
You are asking a Leo if she want to blend in or stand out? I’ll get back to that, but first, I have a friend that dresses in brown, puts on subtle makeup, and pretty much does the blending in thing. I can’t and won’t live life is I have to look like a wall. I don’t dress in camouflage. I don’t try to be so subdued that no one notices me. I do not like being invisible.
One of my idols growing up was Lucille Ball. I loved the fact that she could be herself in any situation and make people around her laugh. She stood out, and it would be a shame if she didn’t. I too like to make people laugh and smile. I can’t do that by blending in or hiding in the shadows. I don’t necessarily believe in astrology, but if one of the connections between her and I are that we were both born in August, then so be it.
I went out for Halloween last night as Athena. I first went to a dance, but there was not many people there. Then I went to see Saving Amy, a musical playing it’s final performance in Seattle. I received many complements, and a plethora of smiles. I stood out and loved it.
Meliss@
Blend in or stand out? If you want to blend in get an HArry Potter cloak of invisability. I have never met one woman who wants to blend in.If one did she would wear exactly the same clothes hairstyle and makeup as all other women. Fashion would end . Hairstyles and makeup would go kaput. 1984 Now there is a picture to remember, everyone looks the same .Everything thinks the same. Is this what a Tgirl wants? I dont think so..
I would suggest be proud of whom you are. If you stand out for a reason, being too tall.Too manly.Too many things to say..
If you are “read” so be it,, not everyone will hate you.SOme may smile, some may hide their children and pets.SOme may call a priest and have an exorcism performed on you.Tomorrow you will still be alive .So its not the end of the world.It the start of a new day.It may be your last. SO how you want to live it is up to you.
Just be brave , be yourself and be glad to be different..
Frances Wade— Freudian superstar..XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hi Lucille,
I think this is a great topic. And while I like to stand out and be noticed for being feminine and pretty, I do like to blend in, as in being seen as another woman, although a pretty woman. I certInly don’t want to blend, as in appearing to others as drab and plain looking. However I think for a lot of ts women getting to the point of mere blending in is an achievement in passing and many strive for that in the beginning. It is a great place to be in order to take your look to the next level.
Early on I was into the high heels and short skirts but as I got through therapy and decided to go full time and transition I realized there is only one way we really want to stand out. Beauty. To be noticed for being attractive is really the only way most of us really want to be noticed. To blend is I think one of the necessary stages of transition and self acceptance. I viewed my early years as being over the top as I felt it neessary to feel sexy and sultry as a part of being feminine and had to dress that way to feel that way. I learned that being comfortable and relaxed I exuded femininity so even in my jeans and top I noticed I really felt more of a woman as I no longer felt it necessary to try, it was easier just to BE a woman and that feminine energy just oozed out of me in the way I acted and felt and was perceived. I now save those heels and skirts for private time with someone special.
i have to totally agree. just “BE” is far more easier than being worried about if im passing or not a woman does not think about those things so we shouldn’t either. accept yourself we all don’t look like the supermodels but are beautiful in our own ways. and the fact that we are aware of our true self we are “deff” more blessed.
you are gorgeous Sophie and very intuitive thank for sharing