“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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hi lucille
for me passing as a woman is important but its not at the top of my list as i dont care much what people think as long as i’m feeling happy and confident and more importantly feminine its really all that maters as i’m far from having pamela anderson’s looks i look more like hulk hogan in a dress he he he
Interesting article, I obviously try to be as femme as possible but I know Im not perfect !. If I pass, Im happy but am always trying to better my demeanour and image
Your so right! I’ll never look perfect! There will always be some trace of male in me! But, I desperately want to look like a girl, not myself! I have friends that when they dress I would never guess it was them! I’d be happy with success like that!
After all, I do enjoy when people stare at me anyway! Sharing my little secret with a stranger, getting giggles and smiles from the women, at the mall is awesome! It’s a wonderful feeling for me, when I’m noticed!
Dear Lucille,
As a transgender I lived for years with the thought that I would never be accepted for being dressing and acting the way I do but I figured out that I don’t need anyone’s approval to be the woman I am. Clothes,surgery and makeup do not fully define who a woman really is, I know who I am inside and I know I am a woman!
Good afternoon,
Love your advise. I wish that I had a mentor like you when I first started my transition.
It took me 15 long years to get to where I’m at today.
A lot of hard work & sacrifices.
I use to have a hang up just like the one you were talking about today.
Three years ago, I was going through a turning point in my life.
I was just too darn busy worrying about what I look like on the outside vs. the inside. I had to change my attitude.
Then I learned this. What we think, we attract.
If we are angry and negative all the time, we will attract nothing but angry, and negative people & situations.
Now since I learned to love myself, and thinking in a better positive manner. Since then, I found my perfect job, I fit in, and above all, I’m accepted.
I’m a professional Dowser, and I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. I work with people to improve on their life through energy management.
Hope to chat some more, and thanks again.
Peace, Light & Love Katt
I agree with Felicia that is “difficult to give up some sexiness.” I think acceptance is the real goal. Some think passing or blending is required for acceptance – and maybe it is for a fraction of the people you are around. Acceptance has to start with yourself.
Yes Joni,
I can blend in when I am in drab but when out and about, I sometimes prefer not to blend but to stand out. If that draws attention to the fact that I was not born female, so be it.
How important is passing? Well it does help to come close. as a full time Realtor I am in the public eye a lot more than many of us. I have to agree that blending in is so much more important, most people do not give me a second glance. Some people might have questions and never ask. Over all I am treated very well. At the same time I am more concerned about me and how I feel, not what the rest of the world thinks. I am so happy to have had my birth defect corrected that what someone else thinks really is small potatoes in comparison to my own happiness.
Rachael
Well I was never really sure weather you were a real girl or not you always look so feminine and natural.
Wow you look great Rachael! You are very passable!
Rachaell, you are beautiful. You look better than 75% of the world’s genetic girls. I’d buy any real estate you presented to me.
You really look great Rachael.
Diane
Lucille, I have worked on the getting comfortable part for so long that I know do the best I can and recognize the days I am better and the days I lack. I choose my places of visitaion very carefully and always value what my wife has to say. Passing never comfortable and accepting me as me always.