“Passing as a woman” is the Holy Grail for many crossdressers and transgender women.
But is it really a goal worth pursuing?
If you’ve been afraid to show your feminine side for fear of not “passing,” it might be time to rethink your priorities.
I believe everybody has the potential to pass, but let’s face it… it’s not always easy!
It could take years to master all the subtleties of walking, talking, and presenting yourself as a woman. You might even require surgery to be truly passable in all situations.
That means that unless you plan to live as a woman full time, trying to become 100% passable just isn’t practical.
Rather than getting hung up on passing vs. not passing, I suggest you make it your goal to “blend in” instead.
Blending in means you look feminine and harmonious enough not to stand out in a negative way – even if you aren’t 100% passable.
Most people don’t scrutinize everybody around them, so unless there’s something glaringly off about you, you are unlikely to attract a second glance.
Does this mean everybody will think you are a cisgender (genetic) woman? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter.
The happiest crossdressers and transgender women I know don’t care whether they pass or not. They care about being themselves.
Passing is great when it happens, but there’s nothing wrong with being seen as the classy crossdresser or transgender woman that you are!
As long as you choose the right environment and present yourself well, you are likely to be met with acceptance.
Now I’d love to hear from YOU!
Please take my “Passing Poll” and share your thoughts below!
Love,
Lucille
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I was late in transitioning mainly due to fear and lack of confidence. Now I live full time and am loving it. One of the major key elements in being out in public is belief and confidence in yourself. I am fortunate in that I present myself as a mature elderly woman and in the past 7 years early after my initial transition, I have been “outed” only once and that was when the person heard my voice before seeing me. Since then, with some work, I totally pass. One of my favorite “hobbies” is to look at anyone I pass, directly into thier eyes and smile to get their attention and response. It invariably gets me a smile in return and often stangers, mostly women, will stop and chat with me. It is wonderful.
Hi Hun, I really don’t have much problem fitting in. My councilor says I look better as a woman than a guy. And he and I have come to the agreement that there really is a woman inside. And I think this week or next, I’ll be getting my hormone letter. Actually I have more problems hiding my breasts when in guy mode. I’m a 42C compliments of thyroid cancer. One of my hobbies is people watching,and I’ve found women come in a varity of sizes and shapes. Thanks BJ
Thank you Lucille for all the good advice you share with us.
I know that people at a glance would probably think that I pass but on close encounters I know that although the compliments are welcomed the judgmental vibs are usually self explanatory.
As a transgender person I love the woman inside and the woman I portray on the outside, so negative looks or comments are quickly ignored
The time I spend en-fem is truly me and Kim is the better part of my life
I have been dressing for over 30 years and I always try to blend in. I dress conservatively and never have a problem passing, even though I stand 6-3 in heels.
I’m currently writing a book, which includes contributions from Lucille, entitled: Tricks of the Trade — A Beginners Guide to Cross-Dressing. It should be released by the end of October.
If you are interested in a copy, let me know.
Love to all, Carollyn Olson
I pass most of the time. I have learned not to sweat it if I am made. If I get asked “Are you a dude?” my kind reply is “I have a penis, if that is what you are wondering”
Lucille, I don’t do this to pass for a woman I do it for my own satisfaction, I have been at this for a long time, I use the articles you send to refine my image. I am 64 years old and will probably never go out in public…………….
As a younger person, I didn’t have the courage to go out. I would have passed more easily then. Now as an older person, I have a much more challenging time of it. The difference is now I realize I am as much a woman inside as any genetic born girl out there. Maybe THAT gives me more confidence and now I DO go out. I too have realized it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, just what I feel. When I put on my dress, heels hosiery, wig and makeup, I feel whole! FINALLY!!!!
Hi I’ve just started its been almost a week.
I’ve wanted to have breast all my life.
I’m still in the closet, peeking out.
I can start to see some changes sometimes I think there just in my head.
I want to go large but yes I am very nervous about it.
I want to show ferm….
It is important to be you all the way.
and look the best you can be.
never give up on a goal, and yes most goals are hard to reach…
Thanks
G.