Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
Hi again U Gorgeous Wonderful mentor. I am glad you talked about fear, just at the right time for me. I am in relationship with a GG for over 4 years, We have been on again off again and have parted ways too. However, I continue to work hard at staying in her life as b/f and g/f lately. She is willing and able to play with me as her girlfriend/boyfriend too. This moment i am taking care of her house and doggie for week in the desert. We love each other very much but my girlie side is not her favorite topic. I have often told others they must get out of their shell and as of late i am finally becomming more and more less inhabited with doing that also. I have chatty cathy enough right now. Suggestions welcome and Big kiss to you Grl steph
For the many who have expressed there fear of hurting their loved ones by becoming their authentic selves, I wish I could hug this anguish away. {tears}
…I put-aside my need to transition for the sake of my family, for nearly a decade. I didn’t fear haters, or fear that I mat never pass, or what others would think of me: I didn’t want to hurt my family. It was a decade wasted because I hurt (*horribly*), my spouse hurt for me, and when I did transition, those family members I didn’t want to hurt were hurt *anyway* and didn’t care one bit that I suffered an extra ten years: they still view me as profoundly selfish (when by their own experience of me, they know me to be profoundly self-sacrificial)…
…What has happened through my transition is that we have grown (most of us), and we find now that each in our own ways have become better people – this despite the the wide spread prediction of catastrophe my changes would bring to our lives.
We didn’t ask to be trans, just like our loved ones didn’t ask for the growing opportunity that our transitions brought (and will bring) into each of their lives too. We all grew because we embraced the opportunity instead of running from it. And those who ran screaming, are still screaming and running…and stagnating.
Wonderful tips!
Here are a couple things I’ve said to myself to help me through difficult “firsts:”
“I am *woman enough* – I’m running on estrogen!”
“I have successfully changed my sex – I can do anything else I set my mind to.”
A few days ago, I was speaking with an old mentor, friend and colleague who has seen me a few times since I transitioned. We chatted of the bathroom debacle in North Carolina, and he said “Bretta, you’ll have no problem – you have *such* confidence – you *are* a woman.” Later I realized he was saying that I *own* my gender, whatever anyone else might say or think. Do this and haters may still hurt you, but they will never destroy who you are.
Yes,there are a lot of bigots in the world,I know how you feel MJ and Jim there are some bigots in my family and they do not like change at all…………..
Hi Lucille I finally looked at the program “Makeup Magic” I’ll for sure be making a purchase this will help me a lot it’s amazing the difference makeup done right can make in us we all need so much help there well I should say most of us I’m sure Chris Scott could truly make me beautiful I hope I can with instruction and practice I’ve got to get better results Love M.J.
I’m actually fealess now, im only 3 years HRT, it feels so much longer! 🙂 So where I’m at in terms of fear nothing is just that, I’m full-time, I’m living my life fearless, I don’t care about passing, although my friends say im fierce!
Bigots, transphobic people don’t get to me, I’m way happy with my life now! I have more friends now than I ever did in my whole life! 🙂
I’m 43 yr old transgender woman, if you like me good, if not there’s the door!!! 🙂
My biggest fear is losing friends I’ve made throughout my life.
My biggest fear would have to be seeing my family while I was dressed. My parents found out I not just liked boys, but liked to act like a girl. It’s sad we don’t talk anymore, but at this point I am only worried about me:)! Finally ready to do whatever it takes to become a girl