What would you do if you had NO FEAR?
- Would you plan a fabulous femme outing?
- Would you share your feminine side with somebody important?
- Would you live as a woman full time, haters be damned?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – whether it’s our age, our family obligations, or a lack of money – but the truth is, it usually boils down to FEAR.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are my best tips for conquering your fear so you can express yourself as the fab female you truly are.
1. Accept your Fear
What you resist persists. But when you accept your fear, it has a funny way of dissipating.
The thing is, our minds are wired to help us survive. Whenever you face an unknown situation – or risk facing disapproval from others – the default response is fear.
Accepting your fear as a built-in biological response also helps you realize that your fear is NOT a sign that you are weak or that you are NOT supposed to do something. (Note: I am not suggesting that you ignore fear when it comes to your physical safety. You should obviously use common sense when putting yourself out there.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever been afraid something terrible would happen … only it never happened? That’s because most fear comes from your thinking, not the reality of the situation.
It is not possible to think two thoughts at one – therefore, if you think a positive thought, it is literally impossible to think a negative or fearful thought at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The premise of the book is that the only way to get over a particular fear is to face your fear and DO IT. Then there is no longer anything to be afraid of! What a concept, huh?
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid doing something, the scarier it seems? Avoiding something doesn’t make the fear go away … it only builds anticipation, which is usually worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action in spite of them, the stronger and more confident you become.
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
P.S. I am going to be facing one of MY biggest fears ever by going SKYDIVING this month – eeek! Any girls here make the big leap? I’d love to hear any tips or words of encouragement you might have. 😉
transformation tips?
For the many who have expressed there fear of hurting their loved ones by becoming their authentic selves, I wish I could hug this anguish away. {tears}
…I put-aside my need to transition for the sake of my family, for nearly a decade. I didn’t fear haters, or fear that I mat never pass, or what others would think of me: I didn’t want to hurt my family. It was a decade wasted because I hurt (*horribly*), my spouse hurt for me, and when I did transition, those family members I didn’t want to hurt were hurt *anyway* and didn’t care one bit that I suffered an extra ten years: they still view me as profoundly selfish (when by their own experience of me, they know me to be profoundly self-sacrificial)…
…What has happened through my transition is that we have grown (most of us), and we find now that each in our own ways have become better people – this despite the the wide spread prediction of catastrophe my changes would bring to our lives.
We didn’t ask to be trans, just like our loved ones didn’t ask for the growing opportunity that our transitions brought (and will bring) into each of their lives too. We all grew because we embraced the opportunity instead of running from it. And those who ran screaming, are still screaming and running…and stagnating.
Wonderful tips!
Here are a couple things I’ve said to myself to help me through difficult “firsts:”
“I am *woman enough* – I’m running on estrogen!”
“I have successfully changed my sex – I can do anything else I set my mind to.”
A few days ago, I was speaking with an old mentor, friend and colleague who has seen me a few times since I transitioned. We chatted of the bathroom debacle in North Carolina, and he said “Bretta, you’ll have no problem – you have *such* confidence – you *are* a woman.” Later I realized he was saying that I *own* my gender, whatever anyone else might say or think. Do this and haters may still hurt you, but they will never destroy who you are.
Yes,there are a lot of bigots in the world,I know how you feel MJ and Jim there are some bigots in my family and they do not like change at all…………..
Hi Lucille I finally looked at the program “Makeup Magic” I’ll for sure be making a purchase this will help me a lot it’s amazing the difference makeup done right can make in us we all need so much help there well I should say most of us I’m sure Chris Scott could truly make me beautiful I hope I can with instruction and practice I’ve got to get better results Love M.J.
I’m actually fealess now, im only 3 years HRT, it feels so much longer! 🙂 So where I’m at in terms of fear nothing is just that, I’m full-time, I’m living my life fearless, I don’t care about passing, although my friends say im fierce!
Bigots, transphobic people don’t get to me, I’m way happy with my life now! I have more friends now than I ever did in my whole life! 🙂
I’m 43 yr old transgender woman, if you like me good, if not there’s the door!!! 🙂
My biggest fear is losing friends I’ve made throughout my life.
My biggest fear would have to be seeing my family while I was dressed. My parents found out I not just liked boys, but liked to act like a girl. It’s sad we don’t talk anymore, but at this point I am only worried about me:)! Finally ready to do whatever it takes to become a girl
My most fear has been wanting to go out more and not losing family or friends I love all of your support you are one fine lady