Embracing your true feminine self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can feel like a daunting journey. Fear often becomes the biggest obstacle, holding you back from taking the next step.
What would your life look like if fear wasn’t in the way?
- Would you plan that exciting femme outing you’ve been dreaming of?
- Would you share your feminine side with someone close to you?
- Would you fully embrace living as a woman, no matter what others think?
We often tell ourselves we can’t move forward because of age, family, or finances—but more often than not, fear is the real reason.
If you’re ready to leave fear behind, this post is here to support you.
Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
My most fear has been wanting to go out more and not losing family or friends I love all of your support you are one fine lady
Fear and fear, it is funny how a speciell fear has popped up in me. Simply said I now have fears for something I never had befor as a man. Ex. Go out late in evening and walk home alone after 12. Uneasy feeling when I meet 3-4 17-20 years old animals (men). I nowedays if it is late walk over to the other side of the street. Of course I know that the chance that I would be attaced and ev. killed is very small but in a vay it vas easier to get rid of as a man. And yes, if it is sunshine, blue skyes and between 10 – 18, and lots of people around you, of course I feel secure. And if you get a boyfriend, he can with a couple of drinks in his body, beat you up and evaen kill you. I have discovered that to be a Girl (women) is a very tuff job.
Greatings all happy girls worlwidw 🙂
you go girl!
There are some really inspirational posts here, I only wish I could learn from them. But I have always been very shy in all things. This is why I have been in the closet for over 30 years… though of course the web hasn’t always been around to find so much useful info, such as on this site.
I already know my mother is very anti-everything that is not what the world considers ‘normal’. for example, every time someone gay appears on the tv she has to make some pointed remark about it! She actually caught me once in a black bra and knickers of hers (25 years ago) and when she immediately started to cry I convinced her it wasn’t what she thought (sigh).
Jokes crop up occasionally at work around ‘cross dressing at the weekend’ (with much laughter) and I would never be brave enough to say ‘well, actually, I do and I wish I could do it all the time’ but I am sure it wouldn’t be tolerated at my office and I would always be the butt of hurtful comments.
Yours fearfully and unhappily,
Andrea
Hi I went out the other day dressed as a woman I didn’t pass very well but it was so much fun doing it I even went in to Tesco n passed loads of ppl who did laugh n smile ther was even a few women how thought I looked sexy n I posed for pictured wit dem I have sum here but can’t post dem…?? Anyway I had a blonde wig red lipstick short black skirt wit silver heels n sexy black top, im 24yrs old par time crossdresser
I find fear is my biggest enemy! I can’t handle rude comments and gazes… but I’ve found most of it is in my head… I’m finally starting to let go a bit of my fears. This photo is me a year and a half ago at school… this outfit was my response to a man shouting a rude comment at me the day before… I still have days where I don’t look right. I’ve been full time for four years now. Years one and two were insanely awkward!
Danielle,
U may have these fears, but remember, u have come out!! This is surely a huge hurdle to be proud of!!
I have been in the ‘closet’ for over 30 years and at the moment don’t feel I will ever be as brave as u!
Good luck,
Andrea
P.S. love the shoes!
I out for the first time I been in fear all my life. I start when was ten years old, going into my mother’s bedroom and putting her lip-stick on.
For years, I lived in fear, thinking “what if someone sees me and recognizes that I am not a genetic woman”? I am, finally at a point when I have added one word to that. “So what, if someone recognizes etc. I was afraid that many of my “friends” would reject me, and that happened. I was in fear that my siblings ( I have five sisters) would reject me.. and that didn’t happen… two embraced me and three said ” don’t like it but still love you” I came to a point where I had to make a decision, was I going to continue “being who I was expected to be” or was I going to be “who I am in my heart”? I was sick in my heart, each day, when I went to work with no makeup, guy clothes, presenting what I had come to believe was a “false” me. Even in a metropolitan area as large as Denver, I knew that sooner or later, someone would recognize me when I was out and about as a woman evenings or weekends and that happened. A woman at work came up to me and said” did I see you at Southwest Plaza on Saturday”? and I said yes, that was me and that’s the real me. She said” wow, you looked really good”. The next day I decided that I could not go on being a part time woman and just went to work as a woman. Over 200 co-workers and several hundred others who work in the same building saw me and tongues were wagging but then an amazing thing happened. A number of men and women at worked came to me, individually, and expressed their support and, when a couple of woman were overheard making disparaging remarks about me, several women who overheard the remarks, each individually and unbeknownst to the others, went to HR and complained about the women who had made the remarks. Immediately, the company executives called a meeting of all 220 employees, except me, and announced that I, Julie, was a transgender woman, that I had a right to be respected, and that anyone who had a problem with that was welcome to find other employment, that there would be no second warning and that anyone who crossed the line would be fired with no further discussion. I have never since dressed as a man and have joy in my heart and a new found freedom. Am I “completely passable” NO. I have a letter from a psychologist, endorsing SRS and/or any other feminization surgery I want to have and am saving for that. Want very much to have some facial surgery to make my appearance more feminine and, in the meantime, am completely embracing my new life. Did I have fear and self doubt? Absolutely. The only way, for me, to overcome my fear was to do that which I feared and to do that I had to make a decision about which was more important to me, what others thought about me or what I most desired for myself. Is it always easy? No, it isn’t but, where does it say that anything in life worth doing has to be easy. Julie
i wish you all the best my sister
Wow girl! That was such an inspirational read. Thank you for sharing your experience and keep on being that amazing woman you are! :3
Julie,
Thanks for such an inspirational post – u are a strong and determined woman!
U are also lucky to have some understanding people in both family and friends.
Hope your new life is a rosy and happy one.
Andrea