Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
transformation tips?
Fear? What’s that? Just kidding but if I had fear growing up I wouldn’t have any broken bones (just about every bone I in my body is broken) a gunshot wound or any other scars, once you let fear in, fear is going to make you afraid of everything, I disband fear in my life and basically I’ve been through everything and anything that life has thrown at me for the last 30 years and I’m still not afraid, just beating fear by using my brain more often. Once you get the fear in your life out, I can’t say you’ll be fear-free but you will understand how to deal with it when fear comes
Es que indudablemente eres muy linda, te veo en la foto y te envidio amiga Lindsey. Tu miedo te desenmascaro, dejando al descubierto la preciosa mujer que eres. Con esa estampa, ese porte y esa belleza podrías estar en cualquier lugar como toda una mujer. Lo has conseguido amiga,Ceres toda una mujer.
Never skydived but I was in the airborne infantry in the army! You’ll love it
True change happened when I realized I’m a spec of dust on a small rock in a tiny galaxy in a brand new universe…we have such a small time here..take the leap 🙂
Well said Casey. Not looking to change genders, just my enjoying that family and friends know I enjoy being a open CDer.
Most freedom of my CD Life of the last 60 +yrs.
Enjoying being me!
Hi Lucille
Yes fear is our greatest enemy as so many have posted here.
Personally, his fears come from probable loss of family. His wife does not like me, (she married a man). Even though she had not met me fully, she knows about me. Just not how integrated I am in his life. As for friends, well hopefully I would make new ones, I’m pretty sure of the ones who would accept me, and the ones who wouldn’t. Plus there are no support groups near enough to me to be readily accessible.
Work concerns, I’m in the maintenance field so he is expected to be the”man”.
He maintains control, and allows me to come out to play when it is safe. Last Friday he had to wash his nasty work clothes, the laundry mat was absolutely empty, so he goes in the restroom and out I came. I was so overjoyed. Then his worst fear, the owner, who he knows very well showed up to close up. I kind of hid in the car, the owner told me, my clothes were finished washing. He gave no indication he recognized him, or realized I was anything other than what I Appeared to be. I was so exhilarated I just had to drive around for a while, ending up at a local State park, getting out and walking around 🙂 . I felt so good.
Yesterday he tried to do it for me again, but there was someone there already, so he chickened out
🙁 .
Anyway I’ve rambled or long enough.
Much love ❤
Tina D. H.
Hi everyone
Today he let me out again. I bought a blouse and necklace at Goodwill, although I was in male mode. It’s a green, cap sleeve, button down with ruffles down the front.
I changed into it as soon as I could. Again I felt so exhilarated driving around. Ended up at the same park again.
I do get to dress almost every morning on the way to work. It’s only about an hour, but it’s worth it to be out and about.
Much love ❤
Tina D. H.
Hi Lucille honey I agree with you Brettany I guess I’m keeping myself on hold somewhat for my family members or at least it feels that way although my main hold back is finances I keep moving slowly like a snail’s pace it seems I am making changes in my life it’s just very slow and I’m getting very down because of it I have some fear of course but I think I can deal with that after all I’ve been through I’m very lonely which doesn’t help much but I can handle that too I’ve been alone most of my life anyway I’m moving soon and hoping things improve then Love MJ
Biggest fear of mine was that I’d be spotted as male in this ensemble I’ve put together in this pic. My first time out was otw to my therapist- she’d never even seen me like this. My walk to her office was very uneventful, and even the two men coming out of the elevator gave no response, just a quick glance, and went about their business. Once there, she said she wouldn’t have guessed/recognized me had I not told her earlier in the day I’d be coming like that. Apparently, my taste in designer clothing and conservative use of products lends me to pass from a short distance.
So, my fear has been exaggerated, internally. My goal is to be more bold and take small steps. Coupled with investments in designer clothing, makeup, and even wigs has made quite a difference in my confidence. I put in a fair effort into my appearance because it makes me feel good about who I am. I see in the mirror who I see inside. My first time out I was not scared so much as excited for a new chapter in my life. My therapist found it very interesting that I was so at ease with her despite being all dolled up.
I’m sure the same holds true for all of you – when you are yourself you are at your most comfortable state. When living with a mask you are fearful of being unmasked. Unfortunately, our masks are physical and we seek to unmask ourselves through many means. Fear is all that we truly do have to fear. Odd aspect of reality- an apparent paradox without end.
Es que indudablemente eres muy linda, te veo en la foto y te envidio amiga Lindsey. Tu miedo te desenmascaro, dejando al descubierto la preciosa mujer que eres. Con esa estampa, ese porte y esa belleza podrías estar en cualquier lugar como toda una mujer. Lo has conseguido amiga,Ceres toda una mujer.
Lucille dear, I am always impressed by your knowledge and wisdom. I am at the moment cracking open the closet door just a tiny bit and thus exposing myself to the first wash of these feelings. It is difficult to distinguish the fear from the shame, but maybe it is not important, both of them must be dealt with. “I deserve this” is a great thought. I may sound selfish but after 50 years of holding back, I actually DO deserve this.
xoxo