Embracing your true self as a transgender woman or crossdresser can be challenging to say the least. It’s no surprise that fear often stands in the way of taking the next step!
Have you ever considered what you would do if fear didn’t hold you back?
- Would you plan an exciting femme outing?
- Would you confidently reveal your feminine side to someone significant?
- Would you embrace living as a woman, regardless of naysayers?
We often have a million reasons why we can’t do something – be it our age, family responsibilities, or finances.
But the truth is, it usually boils down to fear.
Are you ready to be fearless? Here are 3 tips to help you conquer your fear so you can confidently express your fabulous female self.
1. Accept Your Fear
What you resist often persists. However, when you accept your fear, it has a peculiar way of losing its grip on you.
Our minds are designed to keep us safe. Facing unknown situations or potential disapproval triggers fear in us by default.
Recognizing fear as a natural biological response can make it easier to accept. Remember, feeling fear doesn’t signify weakness – it just means you’re human!
(Note: I’m not suggesting you ignore fear in situations concerning your physical safety. Always use common sense in these cases.)
2. Replace Your Fear Thoughts
Have you ever worried that something terrible would happen, only to realize it never did? Most fear arises from our thoughts vs. the actual reality of the situation.
You cannot simultaneously think two thoughts. Therefore, if you focus on a positive thought, it becomes impossible to think a negative or fearful one at the same time.
Drowning out your fear thoughts with soothing thoughts can go a long way in helping you deal with your fear. Here are some thoughts to try:
- I deserve this.
- I’ve done harder things before.
- I am stronger than my fear.
3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
There is a book out there called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I highly recommend you read the book, but the title alone is a great motto to live by.
The core idea is simple yet powerful: the only way to conquer a specific fear is to confront it head-on and take action. Once you do it, there’s nothing left to fear!
Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes? Avoidance doesn’t dispel fear; it merely builds anticipation, which often proves worse than the actual event.
The more you face your fears and take action despite them, the stronger and more confident you become.
Are you ready to be fearless?
So what would YOU do if you had no fear? Are you willing to take one small step in that direction? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!
Love,
Lucille
Dear, I love your blog and invite You to know my admiration since the point of view of a real female MUJER.
Gracias HERMOSA!
It’s easy to be fearless, if you look feminine and if you aren’t too tall. Yesterday I was about to get off the subway and in front of me, there was a lady getting off, about 2 feet taller than myself. Of course, I scrutinized her very intensely. When she turned her head, I was sure she was not a born femme. She looked at me very quickly, but then got off so fast, I was unable to follow her. She surely was worried that I had read her.
Fear is a funny thing.My biggest fear was going to my local Wal-Mart(you know what they say:if you sit at Wal-Mart long enough,you’ll see everyone you ever met).I did fine and afterward it didn’t seem as big a deal.I just kept reminding myself of something John Lennon said,”Don’t stop,when you feel overwhelmed,keep moving.”I believe he was onto something.It kept me from focusing on others focusing on me,and helped with the nervous energy.Fear still hits me when I go to Wal-Mart,but after beating it,I’d never give up what I’ve gained.
Oh lucille your a life saver – as i just finished writing a letter wondering have you got anything that will help me overcome my fear, and i pressed the next email you send me and it led me hear – ty once again – as this should help me think speak and act like a girl so i dont say to myself i can not do it -but rather encourages me, that i deserve this as we all deserver to be happy…
I’m fearless because when I feel someone look at me bad I always sing a song (on my mind): “Mr. Personality” by Gillette and I always smile looking back that “Ugly” person 😀
My problem is not fear anymore, but my health. I just turned 60 and on HRT 2 years. I do want to wear feminine attire soon but a potentially dangerous health problem may squash any hopes of that. I may be off of the HRT and the expense of the treatment will eat into my savings.
Lucille, Have fun skydiving! I did similar adrenaline rushes in my time!
I have been ou during the day 2 times and have been out at night for years the difference with day time there are a lot of scumbags about that I have had bricks flung off me spit on and I went into a female toilet and got the police on me well security and it wasnt very nice….apart from hiding in corners and avoiding people its terrible….wish people where a lot easy going but they aint…its not as easy as it looks wrote down…people should give us a break because we are not doing any wrong….
Lucille, my biggest fear is that of getting followed when I am out. And it has happened on more than one occasion. This is why I have the upmost respect for women……because I know what its like, and what they have to go through. Its not fair that that someone like me or another woman can’t go out as they like without having to worry about if someone is going to cause a problem for you. It sucks to be honest, but thats our society. For those of you who have never gotten followed, you have no idea what this experience is like, just hope that it never happens to you, because it is not at all pleasant. I have been followed on foot, and once while driving my car….and yes, I like to wear short skirts, but that is no reason for someone to harass you. I should be able to wear what I want, when I want without harassment. Please, just be careful and safe out there.
Sarah Leggs