So many things go into being a woman… makeup and clothing are just the beginning!
To help you be your best feminine self, here are my top 10 dos and don’ts for your male to female transformation.
1. DON’T compare yourself to others
There’s no winning the comparison game. Comparing yourself to cisgender women or other trans women is a misery-inducing habit.
This isn’t a competition. Instead, focus on being the best feminine version of YOU.
2. DO find female role models
While you shouldn’t compare yourself to other women, it IS a good idea to observe and learn from them.
When you see somebody who looks especially good, observe the details. How does she dress, speak, move, and behave? You don’t need to be a copycat, but incorporate some of these details into your own image.
3. DO invest in great shaping wear
The shape of your body broadcasts your gender, so one of the most important items to invest in is great shapewear. This is even more essential than spending money on expensive clothing!
Depending on your natural shape, you may want to invest in the following:
- Breast forms in an ideal shape/size for your body
- Waist cincher
- Padded panties (with butt and hip padding)
- Control top pantyhose
4. DON’T forget your voice
There’s nothing quite as jarring as a beautifully made up woman with a voice that doesn’t match.
While it’s not essential to have the most perfectly pitched voice, putting some effort into a congruent voice will have a big impact on your image. Check out The 30 Day Crash Course for a guided 30 day voice feminization program.
5. DO dress age appropriately
Dressing appropriately for your age is a style must for every woman.
This is NOT to suggest that you have to look like a frump if you are above a certain age. You simply need to choose pieces that reflect the best version of you without looking too young or too old. See my 3 Rules for Dressing Sexy at Any Age for more on this topic.
6. DON’T overdo it
The biggest mistake you can make is overdoing it. This applies to all women!
Wearing too much makeup, dressing too sexily, and over-exaggerating your movements are all no-nos. These big mistakes attract the wrong kind of attention. Instead, think subtle and stylish.
7. DO get a second opinion
It’s hard to see ourselves objectively. That’s why everybody needs a trusted friend for a second opinion. If you don’t have a girlfriend you trust nearby, find a forum or even post your images in the comments section here for an objective opinion on your image.
8. DO choose your environment wisely
Your safely is the most important thing, so needless to say, you should choose your environment wisely. If you go out en femme, do so in a safe environment where you are likely to be met with acceptance and support.
9. DO practice your moves
Your body language and movements communicate more about you than almost anything else. Pay attention to your movements by keeping them fluid and feminine. Check out these articles for more tips:
- 7 Tips for Feminizing Your Body Movements
- How to Walk in Heels: 7 Dos and Don’ts for Crossdressers and Transgender Women
10. DON’T forget to have fun
Whether you’re at home or in public, being a woman is supposed to be fun! Drop the guilt, the comparisons, and the need for perfection and enjoy being the woman that you are!
What are YOUR top dos and don’ts?
Now that you’ve seen my list, what are YOUR top dos and don’ts? Please share in the comments below!
Love,
Lucille
I am sending these to get an overall 2nd opinion
Hi Kayla, I think you have a beautiful look! Love the eyes and lips. And the lovely makeup accentuates both so fabulously!
Don’t talk about yourself when out with friends. Keep the conversations lively and optimistic. Your image in transformation is important
Do practice dancing in heels at home. Nothing helps more for your posture and strength than a good 1 hr dance a day. That allows for an envious crowd on the dance floors.
Do learn to eat right. Eat very little. Nothing is more glorious than being in a tight corset with high energy at a constant and sexually feeling everything. Nothing worse than thrusting fat into tight clothing.
Don’t talk about yourself in a group. Talk about others Gossip is hot.
Don’t wear the same clothes you wore to the party the night before.
Don’t hang out at the local Mexican restaurant in drag knowing there is no one there but conservative folks. They won’t get it. Unless you want to navigate a right of passage by doing so.
Do your transformation in spurts. Wear a high heel without any changes to the rest of you. It allows your style to develop from a simple change in posture.
Do practice dance in heels at home!! I highly recommend this regiment with a safe friend (safely). It develops strength, stamina and you become the envy at the clubs!
I very much adhere to all of Lucille’s tips on this subject. My mother was my role model. She was beautiful, feminine and caring. I also watch and learn from women every day on how I can present myself as the woman who I truly feel. I am now 73 and retired and love my life now as a woman. Never have any issues. Here I am trying on a dress I bout the other day at Macy’s! The key is to be very confident in your mannerisms and appearance when in public. I never have an issue. Suzy
Dear Lucille
I love this compendium of do’s and dont’s of female transformation. These are ‘life savers’. Love,Richard
Lucille is so good for the Trans community. I have been out of the closet since 1933 and made all those mistakes at first. I think the most important is a safe place. Especially if you’re just coming out, it will build your confidence. Once you think of yourself as a woman, you can have the confidence to expand your world. I just came back from Bangkok and Phuket Thailand, then a two week trip to california…not one problem! But, I’ve been a woman for a long time. I write about my early life in “Identity” and the problems and successes as a woman. Keep up the good work Lucille!!!
feminisation
Be honest to the people around you. Don’t be a creepy guy who dresses up. When you buy clothes and makeup do it openly and tell people its for you. I have made many true and good friends from complete strangers over time. These are the friends you need. Explain why you dress up. I don’t cross dress anymore, I just dress up in nice clothes!!
Souixe
Your tips are fantastic but in my experience, when I finally became totally confident in myself as a woman, when I finally stopped caring what people thought and decided to live my life for myself, I blended better. I can go out with my long blond hair, Jean short shorts, t-shirt and candles with no make up, no silicone forms and I am still addressed as Maam. And I am not a physically feminine trans woman but I am very confident, I love myself as a girl, I do have the walk, mannerisms and voice. So I think confidence is probably the most important thing a girl needs to pass.